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What Color are Your Nipples?

I decided to hang out with a friend today that I hadn't seen in a while. We met up at a Starbucks and sat down to our delicious, perhaps overpriced, coffee. She is a wonderful Brit, who is spontaneous, and maybe on the…
The Formal List of Relationship Firsts

A new relationship brings with it a slew of firsts. Below is a collection of some of the most endearing trials and tribulations we endure upon entering a new relationship
To my High School Boyfriend (and a Longhorn)

To my High School Boyfriend and Texas Longhorn: I must admit -- I was infatuated with you during our three and one half years of dating, and was a little sad that you dumped me because I chose not to hook 'em; but there…
Attention Boys: How NOT to Get Laid

Post submitted by an anonymous user. 1. Ask a girl if you can jizz on her face. Then text your friend “I think tonight is the night it’s finally going to happen” while the girl is sitting right next t…
Help! I Can't Stop Being a Non-Virgin!

I don't know what to do anymore. People no longer take me seriously because I've done the darkest deed, and there's no way to hide my shame. I've tried everything. I attempted to wash the impurity off of my penis with a…
Irreparable First Dates

First dates are magical things. They can hold all sorts of hope, potential, possibility. Probably in any relationship, it'll be the date with the most ripe conversation, the most effort put into makeup, and the most exc…
Gay, French, Anti-AIDS PSA [Explicit Content - NSFW]

I thought about titling it "The Greatest Public Service Announcement Ever Made" because it pretty much is, but that wouldn't really get any hits, and I'm all about hits not content, clearly. As the title stands now, it…
"Remain Friends? Hell No!" Anonymous Letter #1

An angry letter to anonymous exes. (For copy/paste purposes when you just don't give a fuck) Hey, ______ (asshole works fine, too). I can't believe you had the audacity to try giving me a pity friendship as a consolati…
The Dirtiest Pick-Up Line

Over the weekend, I visited a bar with a few friends. The bar was crowded and there were cute boys lining the walls. As we stood around, this hefty guy crept towards our group to say hello to a buddy of mine. He was wea…
WTF of the Day: Congratulation Cards for Rape Victims

A classy Etsy seller called "youstupidbitch" created a congratulations card for rape victims. Now, I have a pretty quirky sense of humor, but I really can't get behind something that makes light of rape, especially chil…