A few weeks ago I ran a piece called
"How Do You Know If You Are a Slut?" and I cited an incident last year where a Toronto cop told a group of a law students that to avoid rapes "women should avoid dressing like sluts". This sparked an obvious outrage and rally of "Slut Walks" crossed the globe.
Some of your comments surprised me. A few of you agreed with Michael Sanguinetti's implication that a woman's dress was a factor in an assault, and that she was partially responsible for her rape. Some of you even went as far to say that women who "dressed like sluts" were asking for it.
Now I know that Xanga is a largely conservative community when it comes to sex and dating, but I wanted to put this conversation back on the table anyways. I fail to see how what a woman wears dictates whether or not a rape will occur.
I live in a major metropolitan city and I know that certain outfits will incite unwanted comments. That is one thing. If you show your legs in a major city you will get "cat-calls" from men (and women). But I highly doubt that if I was walking through a lesser neighborhood at night that a rapist would care whether I was wearing sweatpants or a mini-skirt. A rapist simply doesn't think about things like that. It's about being a predator to prey. I doubt that if I was wearing a bubble coat opposed to a halter-top that it would defer someone from getting what they want.
Readers:
Are we "asking for it" when we wear short skirts? What is "dressing like a slut"?Image Source
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Comments (340)
Omg is that asshole serious?! I'm conservative when it comes to clothing and sex but the way you dress is not permission for somebody to rape you. Furthermore, rape is not and never will be about sex. Its about revenge and power.
Two points:
It's true that serial rapists really aren't concerned about what you're wearing, if nothing else because they are just planning to remove it anyway.
It's also true that dressing in certain ways triggers a response in those attracted to members of your sex, and that a response should not be unexpected.
So to those who rape: If I observe you attempting it, I will make sure your visit to the hospital is extended and painful.
To those who dress provocatively: Don't whine too much if the provocation is successful and you get a response.
I didn't see any comments on the post you linked that mentioned because someone was dressed a certain way they were asking to be raped.
Clothing (or lack thereof) is not a reason to assault someone. Of course, I'm of the opinion that there is no justifiable reason to assault (the legal definition) someone, ever. So..
rape is not about sex. it is about power. how one dresses does not incite the real sexual predator that is looking to rape.
but, to dress in a way that may give someone the IDEA that you are a loose person MAY put you in a bit of danger from those that think you are advertising for sexual favors.
As I hail from Toronto, I wanted to shake that officer's hand for FINALLY telling the Truth.
@buddy71@xanga - Rape is NOT about power. It is about sex. The only people who believe it is about power are the feminazis who first came up with that viewpoint. Claiming that rape is about power gives WOMEN all the power.
It is completely idiotic for one to claim men want POWER over some female soley based upon the way she dresses. No, she gets raped because she has decided to look sexy, thus making it more difficult for the male to control his desires.
Pit a hot bitch dressed in baggy tracks pants and a baggy sweatshirt against the bitch dressed in the smallest, tightest jeans imaginable along with a halter-top. Who the fuck does everyone think is going to get raped? You are all morons. It is really THIS SIMPLE! Don't want to get raped, then don't invite it by dressing like a cheap whore.
@burgerking781@xanga - How does one teach against millions of years of evolution? How does one remove primal instinct?
Once again, it's easier to blame the woman than the man....I mean, he was only following his basic instinct right? It has to be the woman's fault if she's so attractive that he can't control himself....right?
The comment made by that officer makes me sick. People walk around wearing provocative clothing all the time. Some men don't notice. Some men stare. Some men make cat calls. But a very small part of the population decides that it's an invitation to have sex, and somehow it's the woman's fault? How does this make sense? If that were true, then every man would rape a woman the second he saw one wearing something provocative. It just doesn't happen.
Not to mention, rape is about power, not sex. Sex is just a symbolic act of power, so most people who rape don't care about what the victim is wearing.
Ugh the ignorance in this world is just so overwhelming.
@LegionOfLucifer@xanga - and I thought loborn was the biggest troll of xanga...congrats.
@GagaMonster - The officer was entirely correct. He is a COP, so he would know. Who is at the frontline during a rape episode? Oh yes, that's right. A COP.
The men who do not notice are either fags or downright frightened of the consequences of looking.
The only power that comes from rape is in the hands of the women. If a woman is pissed off at a guy for anything at all, she need only scream 'rape!', and his life is over, even if he did nothing of the sort. Now THAT is real power.
Even women themselves fear dressing sexy because they may 'get raped'. So they dress down. Hmmm? That is your own sex ADMITTING that it is provocation to dress in such a manner. I do not condone rape. I merely suggest it would be wise not to dress in a provocative manner.
Here is a scenario. A bitch dresses in an utterly sexy, provocative manner. She sees two men staring at her. She looks at the one who is not exactly Brad Pitt and says 'damn, that pervert looks as if he is ready to rape me!'. Then, she looks at the other man who happens to be a Greek god himself, starts primping and preening, praying that he 'notices' her, no hint of anything like 'rape'. She WANTS the man, so she unbuttons her top somewhat in the hopes she may further gain his favour in the game of sex.
The difference between the two men and how the woman responds whilst dressing sexy? She wants the attention of the handsome one, whilst she 'fears' the other fugly bastard leaves her alone lest she be forced to cry rape. Does anyone see anything wrong with this picture?
@UnconventionalButterfly@xanga - Sweetie, do go away. No one gives a damn about your constant cries of 'troll!' Run along now.
I do find it interesting that in the eyes of the law, women do indeed 'invite' rape by the provocative manner in which they dress. Does not a cop enforce the law? Therefore it is the law itself that is asking women to stop provoking men.
NO! People are allowed to dress how they want without the risk or threat of being raped.
ABSOLUTELY NOT!
By saying they are asking for it, you are giving permission to rapist.You are saying that the girl is dressed in such a way that people should "GO AHEAD AND RAPE HER"?
My gosh! I bet a lot of people who agree with this are also saying that we should shoot people in hoodies.
Sorry to burst your bubble, but I was raped & I can guarantee you I was not dressed like a slut. I was wearing jeans, that covered EVERYTHING & a top that went up to my collar bone & rested at my hips.
You are an idiot, plain & simple.
@ltohnoarstone@xanga - No such thing was said about giving permission to a rapist. A woman simply makes herself more a target when she dresses sexy. It is much like someone in Texas carrying a gun to ensure he does not get robbed. No one says he is asking to be robbed, but he is sure preventing it from every happening. The same logic may be used by women. Don't dress sexy, and they will be overlooked. It is merely a precaution.
@Mrs_FoodLover@xanga - Sweetie, I see your picture and I have doubts anyone has ever touched you in an inappropriate manner. Women have been known to lie in order to get revenge on a man who spurned her by screaming rape. They have been known to cry rape in order to gain the attention they crave, and would otherwise never receive. I believe you are one of the latter.
@LegionOfLucifer@xanga - Spoken like a fugly bastard.
The only thing wrong with this picture is that while railing against Feminazis and women in general, you're unintentionally painting this picture of men as weak, helpless creatures, the victims of their own impulses. Goodness, grow a pair, and some willpower. Yes, many women do want attention. And yes, many women dress what you would call provocatively to get said attention. (Men do this too. And?) However, "attention" does not, and never will, equate to violating someone.
"Primping and preening?" Violates no one. "Unbuttoning a top?" Violates no one. Sticking your nasty dick in an unwilling person? Person violated. Really not that difficult to grasp.
DONT blame the victim for the crime. fkn tell the asshole to keep it in their pants.
@Grtt@xanga - Ah, the violence begins. 'Spoken like a fugly bastard'. You were talking about growing a pair? Who said anything about weakness? Men are simply victims of their own primal instinct, grown over a million years of evolution. You should want that undone in a day?
If you are telling me your head does not turn on a swivel when you see a hot bitch dressed in an entirely sexually provocative manner because you have 'control', I call bullshit. I see it happen every minute of every day. Ironically, I do not see those same males turn their heads on a swivel when a fugly bitch wearing bags for pants and a heavy sweatshirt happens by. Hmm, why is that? Could this possibly mean I am right?
@just_like_air@xanga - And tell the bitch to quit whining when something happens to her after she goes out dressed up like a major slut.
@LegionOfLucifer@xanga - Oh you are so right! Thank you for clarifying that for me! Goodness, what would I do without your wonderful knowledge?
Does anyone not wonder why mothers and fathers become upset when their young daughters suddenly begin to dress up in a provocative manner, then demand their little bitch get her ass back up to her bedroom and change into something more appropriate? Now, why would they do this? Perhaps they have come to the same conclusion? Perhaps they believe that their young girl is 'asking for it' when she dresses in a manner in which they do not approve? WHY do they not approve? Hmmmm? Am I missing something here? Or, are the rest of you doing so?
@Mrs_FoodLover@xanga - You are welcome.