Monday, 15 August 2011
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Ethnicity, Attraction, and Weight
I know I'll probably take some flack for this, so as a disclaimer: Stereotypes. We all know they aren't universally true, and yet they must contain some element of truth to become widespread. I want to be clear that I know racial/ethnic stereotypes are not all exclusive claims.With that out of the way; my roommate and I were talking the other day about how guys on the street shape our eating and exercise habits.
Let me rewind one second. My roommate and I both tend to have somewhat fluctuating weight--nothing major, within maybe 10 pounds. But we're both petite, so we easily go from skinny to curvy without much weight gain, and vice versa.
Back to the story. The other day I heard myself say "I think it's time to cut some butter out of our cooking--Latino guys are hitting on me a lot."
I realized immediately how totally racist that sounds--so in my defense: I like Latinos--them hitting on me is really no problem. But she laughed because, well, we've both noticed that Latino and Black guys will only hit on us when we're putting on weight.
On the flip side of that, she said "yeah, when exclusively white men are hitting on me, I generally give myself room for extra dessert--I don't want to be skin and bones!"
Upon further discussion, we realized that we both tend to notice our weight gains and losses (subconsciously) based on who is paying us attention on the street. When I was first pregnant (heavier but not "showing"), I got asked out by Latino guys several times--which had NEVER happened before. Postpartum I got attention from black guys. Then back at my slimmer pre-pregnancy weight, it was just white guys again.
Now, we're both in relationships. And we're both secure girls. It's not like we're gaining and dropping pounds to get attention from guys. But it is funny that the ethnicities of guys who hit on us seems to be a real indicator of how we much we weigh.
But I hate to be a perpetrator of stereotypes, I really do. So I'm leaving it up to you all: have you experienced this? Is weight/body type in women indicative of what ethnicity of men pay them most attention? Why would this even be the case?
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- From: vlinder_farfalla@xanga
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Comments (75)
My brother in law once told me I "look like someone black guys would be into." From my experience, he is correct.
Here's my question: if black and latino guys hit on you, and then you need to change your appearance so they'll stop, and then white guys hit on you, and you need to change your appearance so they'll stop...who exactly do you want attention from? Or are you trying to avoid being hit on at all?
I would say that my experience is the same.
I'll take the girl in the middle to go . Can you throw in some ketchup? Thank you :)
my guy works out and has a toned and tight body and I also have a slim and tight looking bod. tight is attracted to tight lol
I usually attract based on how I dress but weight probably plays another factor. when I dress like a punk, I attract the attention of punks. when I dress up, I attract the attention of well dressed older men. but usually men old enough to be my dad are drawn to me. I'm a petite looking young asian. they probably have some creepy lolita fetish or think I'm a gold digger
I'm Korean and when I fluctuate with weight, no one seems to hit on me less or more. Maybe because I'm also 5ft 10 and can look intimidating some times. My fiance is Italian and when we started to date 2 yrs ago, he said it wasn't matter of whether the weight and overall image attracted him to me, but the fact that I was confident and even intimidating because I was so certain about myself.
That was when I was more active, a bit better in shape. Now he says, now that I'm slightly "thicker", I'm easier to approach and that's probably why I have random guys talking to me: black, latino, white, except Asians since I'm approx a head taller than most guys. AHAH
I think I gained about 10 lbs during the 2 yrs of dating my guy, but probably gained another 2-5 lbs since we started living together back in June of this yr. Ugh
All I know is I like my women with some curves
LOL, I agree. I put on weight and developed a backside and a gut but Black men love the back and Latino men love the back, the front, and the gut. Not all to be politically correct.
This is the interesting thing. My significant other is Asian like I am, but he's from a different Asian ethnicity. I asked what attracted him to me. And he said he liked how I didn't look typically Asian. Whatever that meant. So I asked him to clarify and he said I was fuller-figured. I thought he meant I was huge and I flipped out on him. lol!
He went on to say that many of the Asian women he's known tend to be on the petite, slender side, and it's not often he comes across Asian women with boobs and butt. One thing I've noticed, though, men from other backgrounds have approached me more than Asian men.
I would say my experience is exactly the same. Me at a size 2/4 - only white guys hit on me.
Me at a size 6-8, white guys, latino, black guys hit on me.
Me at a size 10-12 - only latino and black guys hit on me.
Obviously there are outliers to this equation, but it's generally spot on.
I like a girl who is not afraid to eat in front of me, but is also sure not to let herself go completely.
Black guys love me for some reason.. I'm tiny and have like no boobs but I got a donk for a little chick.
It's funny because I tend to attract those Caucasian men that are really into Asians. Growing up, I've been hit on by sooo many of those guys, old and young O_O
In general, though, I find myself to be attractive to asian guys moreso than Caucasians and Blacks. People say it's because of my "big eyes" and lanky physique. It gets scarier when I'm in Asia, people tend to just, stare and then ask for my phone number...
I don't really attract anyone. Haha. I guess generally Asians and blacks (we don't really have Hispanic people here...). I think it's just anyone of color though, lol.
Bahahahaha.
All I know is when I do intense workouts for my ass for a few weeks in a row, I
DEFINITELYget hit on by more black guys. I'm asian. :P
I don't know, my columbian friends has a lot of stick-skinny gal friends back home
This is true. Though I do like curves. Half-mexican girlfriend for the win.
Im Indian and kinda big for my height, and I usually get hit on by other Indians as well as Latinos.
Unfortunately Im not attracted to Indians. But that might be because every Indian who has hit on me has been creepy as shit. I get my gas at Wawa because its the only place around my house that isnt staffed by Indians. I dont mean to be racist, but Id like to be able to fill my tank without being eye-raped...
No one tends to hit on me.....I'm thin. *shrug*
I'm skinny, and I get hit on by Latino guys...but maybe that's partly due to the fact that I live in Ecuador, and most of the men around here are Latino. It's usually after a show, so maybe men in general just like to hit on singers.
@shatteredmoonbeams@xanga - lol. we're not all bad people.
@LaBellaMorena - haha, not that at all- I'm not trying to avoid or attract any specific attention- it's just like, in the place of a scale- it makes me notice my weight when I otherwise wouldn't.
If I totally let myself go I'll gain too much weight and feel just heavy (and not healthy for my frame) so when a lot of Latino/Black guys hit on me, I just start to watch myself a bit. It's more just interesting to me, so I wondered if other women had the same experience.
i understand exactly how you feel, iv gone through this too.
If you hate to be a perpetrator of stereotypes, you shouldn't post things like this. A "disclaimer" doesn't neutralize the stereotyping.
You're seeing these guys as a mere piece of a specific culture based on race, rather than individuals with tastes and preferences of their own. That is racism and stereotyping, regardless of how you meant it.
i have heard numerous times from fob acquaintances that "she can't get an asian guy because she is chunky, so shes with the white guy." im a size 6 at 5'7 and have generous boobage and i have been hit on by asian twice when i was younger and thinner lol, and have been hit on by white, latino, black halfsies wayyyyyyyyyyy more. so i have to say there is some truth to it