Monday, 17 January 2011

• Sex on the Deathbed in Japan

  
  It's not a new kind of fetish where seppuku becomes entangled with sex, so we'll put away our excitement and join the "herbivorous" men of Japan in their lack of sexual interest. A new government study has been conducted that further clarifies why the birth rate has been on a decline. Continuing with my obvious hatred of all things Japan as was pointed out by a couple of bright individuals in a recent post of mine, I present to you statistics which should ironically make the rich, old, white men at the Viagra boardroom meetings tingle with excitement at the prospect of a marketing blitz in Tokyo.

  A total of 1,300 people between the ages of 16 and 49 were surveyed.

  - 36% of Japanese boys in their teens reported that they either lacked or had no interest in sex, while some even went as far as saying they despised it. This figure more than doubles what was recorded in 2008.
  - 83.7% of men turning twenty reported being single, or out of the dating scene. 49.3% stated that they've never even had a girlfriend.
  - It's not just men, though. About 59% of women within the age-group felt just the same.

  What is going on in Japan? Or rather, why isn't anything going on? Is it the anime and hentai that's warping the minds of teenagers, thus creating a standard of beauty to the likes of petite women with comically large breasts, saucer eyes and cute, overly orgasmic voices during regular speech? Since that's hardly realistic, it's possible that no woman is attractive enough to compete with excitable animated girls who are willing to take multiple tentacles in their Stretch Armstrong-like vaginas.

  More likely though, is that it's an effect which stems from a culture where overachievement and hard work take priority in life. How can people in their late teens or early twenties be focused on sex and dating when their parents and society are pushing them to study and work to a point of exhaustion where you can only think about eating, sleeping and possibly jerking off somewhere in there? Unlike the majority of college students in the U.S. who use up their Friday and Saturday nights to get "crunk", Japanese students are more likely to be studying or hell, even reading the latest One Piece manga or re-watching all 26 episodes of Noir again. Yes, cultural differences.

  Another possible reason may relate to a growing movement in Japan in which so-called "herbivore men" do the opposite of what your average woman finds attractive in a mate. The focus for these "herbivorous" men is on fashion and personal appearance. They will have low-paying jobs and spend little, while advocating friendship between men and women. Basically, if you want the American version of an herbivorous man, you'll have to find a metrosexual vegetarian who lives in a squat smoking weed all day, talking about how John Lennon is still alive and peace, man. Not a very likely mix, if only for the metrosexual part.

  The women aren't liking this one bit. To quote one woman who was asked about herbivorous men in Japan, she states, "We like manly men. We are not interested in those boys -- at all." The older generation also frowns upon this passive attitude and way of life. We can easily state that joining these ranks won't be getting you any sexual favors, but it's not like you wanted any to begin with, right? I say to hell with it, and let those kids be. If anything, they're not contributing to overpopulation, abortion clinics or any orphanage. For the rest of you meat-headed studs with rock hard ass muscles, it may be time to book your flight to Japan and save the women from sexual starvation.

  While the possible causes are many, the numbers remain the same.

  A few interesting points were brought up in the comments section, which reminded me of the Shinto faith. It's the unofficial religion of Japan, and sex is not viewed as a taboo. Why is this an interesting point? Well, Japan isn't overly anal about sexual content, especially when compared to America. One could say it's oversaturated out in Japan, which could contribute to the apathetic nature in regards to sexual relations. Again, there's less of a focus on being a bone-thin, model-like sex toy. The constant talk of censorship and the taboo view on sex makes it more desirable in the US. Magazines, movies, television shows, etc. are responsible for many of the psychological issues young women face today. In order to try to live up to this standard of beauty, they must sacrifice time and sanity to become more sexually appealing to males.
  
  Depression, anxiety, and eating disorders among other things, have a direct effect on studies and work. Corporate giants wanting to increase their revenue bombard your television screens and paint your magazines with the same type of woman in a never-ending cycle. If you don't look like this, you have to change, otherwise you're unattractive. To temporarily stifle their insecurities, many women (and men) will look to meaningless, possibly unprotected sex. A lot of it. Censorship isn't slowing down this sex-craved country, and a lack of censorship in Japan on the other hand, is not creating a sex-crazed nation.
  
  Less time to study, more pressure to have sex, the dumbing down of our youth with brain-dead reality shows, sexually provocative music videos, the negative connotations attached to being a virgin, money-hungry media giants preying on vulnerable teens, terrible sex-education in our public schools, horribly lacking public schooling systems in general, and Megan Fox. They're all contributors, and will only help to carry along our oversexed culture. Japan? Japan is different. The focus is elsewhere, and sex is everywhere as well as easily available. Different cultures, different values, different lives. But is one really better than the other?
  
  Hypothetically, how would you feel about sex and dating if the situation were reversed, and this was going on in your country? Who or what would you blame?
  What do you believe is happening in Japan?
  Do you find herbivorous men to be attractive?

  Sincerely,
  Nuñez Love Doctor
  
  Certified with a PhD in Muscular Ass Cheeks and Whatever Dr. Drew Has.

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