Saturday, October 11, 2008
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Dear Dr. Datingish: He's Checking Out Girls' Profiles...
Dr. Datingish
I met my boyfriend online. We have been in a relationship for about a year and a half.
Recently, I noticed that he's been checking out girls' profiles online. Is it normal for him to do that?
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Comments (37)
Normally I would say it's no big deal, BUT if that's how you guys met it would kind of creep me out. Talk to him about it, that should clear things up.
Maybe tell him you'd prefer that he not do that.
Or ask him why he's doing it...
I wouldn't worry too much if he explains things to you and keeps your feelings in mind. If he happens to be an ass and start pushing you farther and farther away, just try to talk to him one last time and then dump his ass if things don't get better.
I haven't tested it out yet myself, but maybe I'll let you know how things go xD. I only have the talk one last time and dumping left to go.
I think that if he has a history of networking online, then you should be finding it a little strange. You should talk to him before you get defensive. Maybe ask him if he's looking for a friend, you might know her! It's tough talking about things like that without immediately getting a brash response.
I would also pay attention to see if he's growing further away from you, acting strange in person, etc. It could be that he's getting the itch and wants to try new things. If that's the case, you may want to rejuvenate your relationship by doing something fun or intimate.
Hmm, well, it depends. He could just be a naturally curious person( girls search people's profiles all the time) or he could be a weirdo. But yea, like everyone else said, talk to him. Find out why the hell he's doing it.
talk to him
honesty is always the best policy
It's pretty normal, I believe. Just cuz you window shop doesn't mean you are going to buy it, right? But then again, you window shop when you want something else or something more..
But how would you know that he's checking out other grls profiles? I believe the best policy is not to be too obsessive with the person you are dating and give them their space.. But that's just my opinion.
Good luck!
No, its absolutely not. As someone who does this I can tell you now its not. I know that doesn't make me look too good but if I was settled with someone I wouldn't be doing that. I think you should talk to him about it.
I have to agree with all these people. You need to talk to him, but not in a condescending way. Don't make yourself sound like you're suspicious or anything. Just ask him what's up as casual as you can. You don't want to create an arguement out of it. GL. (:
I wouldn't jump to conclusions yet. Talk to him like everyone suggested.
not unless they're in a band or some kind of music artist. my dood gets onto girls' profiles, but they're friends, people that we mutually know. he may be an internet junkie! be cautious!
Depends on the site - is it facebook?
I wouldn't worry then because I've seen facebook stalkers go through the pictures of the "cute girls" or "cute boys" they don't really know that well...I dont think its acceptable.
For people who think its okay to window shop...lol..poor people. If thats all they expect..on how to be treated, I feel bad for 'em.
Facebook, like CrazyMai said....thats ok since its all about finding friends/classmates.
depends on what he does while he's on there. if he's messaging/flirting/poking with them, this dude might not be the type for you, especially since he doesn't respect the word "relationship" (commitment). and yeah, i agree with most of the commenter so far, don't jump into conclusion. but i don't think you should be hacking into his e-mail/facebook to find out what he's doing, that's just break the trust, if any.
I would say not to assume things, but given the way you met him, I'd say you need to talk to him about it. Being far apart from each other doesn't give you the right to do things behind people's back. Btw, how is it that you found out he was checking other girls' profiles?
Don't ask Datingish (even though it's fun)... ask HIM.
Have an open and honest conversation about it, and tell him if it bothers you. Communication is key.
Normal? The whole situation is a bit abnormal.
I would, however, agree with nimbusthedragon. Talk to him about it. At least give him a chance to come clean. If he doesn't, there's always eharmony. :o)
my boyfriend got a dating site profile so he could search for ENEMIES according to their matching algorithm LOL
so don't jump to conclusions and just ask him why. if his answer is sketchy well then...he probably is too!
I'd ask him & let him know I'm uncomfortable with it. I hope that since you two have been together for such a long time, that you have defined the terms of your relationship & made it clear that it's exclusive.. Just something to think about. But seriously, ask him if it bothers you. My boyfriend & I bring up hypothetical situations to each other from time to time after talking with friends or hearing situations just to see what the other person thinks & feels about it. That helps too. :)
It depends. I might get suspicious if he's actually contacting them.
FB is ok. Myspace and Match.com? Definitely trying to see if there's someone better.
If his excuse is to look for more friends, introduce him to your friends and/or let him go out there to meet more friends and you guys can hang out together.
If it was in my shoes, I'd be suspicious. kekeke
I actually had this same thing happen about a month ago with someone I'd been seeing for a while (meh--a year ago today..). But you do need to talk to him about it. Basically what everyone said. Don't accuse him of anything. You don't want to get him upset, because he'll accuse of you of this, that, and everything else, haha.
"Is it normal for him to do that?"
NO!
He might end up cheating on you or he's looking for someone that he would like better. Maybe he's bored with you.
No, he has you. What more does he want??
just go check out guys' profiles when he's around you and see how he reacts.
um...no. if he's looking, he's wondering what he's missing.
My mom looks at guys' profiles on Craigslist, but mostly to make fun of some of the things they say. ^^ And sometimes she'll try and see if they're a good match for my single aunt. So... I don't know, some people just do it for fun, but maybe he's not?