Datingish | true stories on the journey from single to *it's complicated*

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Wednesday, 23 May 2012

Couples Who Dress Alike

I remember meeting a boyfriend for lunch one day and realizing we were wearing matching outfits. It's one thing to have maybe similar shades of a shirt on, but there we were... both in kelly green tops and black pants with black shoes. We shared a laugh and felt a little silly for seeming to be "one of those couples" that plans outfits together.

I can understand wanting to dress at the same level for a certain event. I'm one who usually leans towards dressing up as opposed to down, though it will always depend on the outing. I don't particularly care about a date matching me or dressing up for me, though if a certain night calls for a dress code I won't hesitate to mention it.
More Here...
Does Love Make You Boring?

Heartbreak is brilliant for creativity, and the singer Kelly Clarkson has made millions from it. But now she’s got writers block. She told People magazine her happy relationship means she’s just not as inspired as she used to be.

The same goes for Adele. “21”, the biggest selling album of the 21^st century, was written after her terrible break up. What’s her third album going to look like now she’s apparently engaged? Can you imagine “Someone Like You,” but with lots of hand clapping and videos of Adele running through fields of corn, smiling to herself? Who’s going to buy that crap?

Being in a relationship is the best thing in the world, but can it make you a bit boring? I’m going to try and cast a critical eye over my recent life choices and behaviors so see if my relationship is making me dull. More Here...
Dealing with a Petty Partner

This post was submitted anonymously by a Datingish user.

How do I deal with a partner who is extremely petty in disagreements and always creates double standards? It's really hurting me. I'm trying to be the bigger person but it's hard. I don't what to do because she won't stop even after I've told her not to.

Do I break up with her? We've been together 6 years and it seems silly to break up, but then again she's not respecting my boundaries.

Help!
Moving Out of a Boyfriend or Girlfriend's House

I have been thinking about moving out of my boyfriend's house and back to my mother's. I have been living here for two years and I feel like I have built my life here. Lately, I really just want to pack up my things and go, but I've just been having trouble starting. It's so much to just pack up and take your things, and then I don't even know what I should take.

Do I take the things I bought? Like the pictures on the walls or the holiday decorations? Dishes? More Here...
What's Your Weapon Against Heartbreak?

You know that feeling. When you've been hurt by someone, and you're feeling the pain all the time. (Did you know your body can't tell the difference between physical and emotional pain?) You can't concentrate. There's more silence in your day from not calling/ texting/ IMing them. The memories are on replay in your head, full of confusion and the hurt--and wondering what the hell happened.

Oh yeah, I've been there. More Here...

Tuesday, 22 May 2012

Premarital Counseling: When is the Right Time?

This post has been submitted anonymously by a Datingish reader.

My mom recently informed me of her friend's daughter's recent break-up with her long-time boyfriend. The reason? After about 5 years of dating seriously (they're now in their late 20's), the couple decided to enroll in premarital counseling before taking the next step, namely, engagement.

Apparently, the premarital counseling sessions revealed major discrepancies in mentalities and values that, in their opinion, were ultimately too deep or serious to resolve. So, with mutual understanding of the circumstance, they peacefully split up.

From this personal account, my mom concluded that all couples who are seriously dating for marriage should do premarital counseling early on, before engagement, so that issues that haven't been considered or dealt with can be addressed and worked through without the looming pressure of a wedding in a few months.

More Here...
Why You Should See The Five Year Engagement

I'm not one to write movie reviews and what not but I thought everyone, especially couples, should see The Five Year Engagement for 3 reasons:

1) It's a RELATIONSHIP movie, not a wedding movie. It's not "OMG!! Cake, flowers, dresses!!" Yes there's some wedding planning in it but it's not all smooth sailing or happy moments. It all gets jumbled around for various reasons. It shows the truth of relationships. Life happens, people change, & plans shift course so it shows how a couple deals with that while on the road to marriage. No cliché swept off her feet, get married in less than 6 months with the perfect wedding in THE perfect dress movie (for once). More Here...
Thoughts on Polyamory

I was talking to a friend the other day about jealousy and polyamory. The idea is certainly appealing. It's hard to believe only one person can complete us so satisfactorily.

He's currently interested in a girl who seems to be interested in everyone. A bit of a free spirit, he says. We got to talking about what makes a person jealous and our natural need for possession. To say "you belong to me and me alone" is a very powerful thing to say to someone and to mutually agree upon with another.

While his jealousy does flair when his love interest talks of sleeping or seeing other men, he hopes to use the connection he has with her to challenge his views on monogamy. Who's to say he's entitled to feel jealous about this woman's love life?
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Losing Your Virginity

I'm 19 and still a virgin (no shame right here). It's not that I'm a prude; I just always felt it should be with someone special. (You can ask my boyfriend--I'm definitely not shy about sexual matters, I just want it to be the right timing.)

Everyone my age has casual random sex and that just seems like an invitation for diseases to me. That and how many pregnancy scares can one girl have before she realizes she should use more protection or just stop having sex?

I mean losing your virginity is supposed to be awkward, right? Why would you do that with a stranger? I'd rather do it with someone I could laugh about it with later. Someone who I could talk it out with and learn how to get better. How do you ever get better or learn good techniques if almost every one of your sexual encounters is with a different guy? More Here...
Why I Think My Crush Likes Me

My Dear Readers,

I noticed a trend in the comment section of my last post. A lot of you commented how my crush showed zero interest and how I should just give up. That was true, in the beginning. The rejection was as harsh as the slamming of the door or in my case, my heart. But, after we resumed our friendship, things began to subtly shift. And so, I present to you my evidence. Bear in mind that all this happened AFTER he rejected me.

1. We were texting intently and all the sudden, it abruptly stopped. He called me to let me know he was sorry, he was working and he hoped he hadn't hurt my feelings.

2. We were hanging out on the last day of finals in a group and he had to leave. He immediately started texting me, I started texting him back in pig Latin since we had all been talking in pig Latin all night. I texted him (in pig Latin, which is very difficult to do, by the way) that I liked him when he was being silly, he texted me back and said (in English) "yes, I am enjoying this."

And yes, the man can speak proficient pig Latin, so he knew exactly what I was saying. At the end of the conversation he wished me a good night in German and I wished him a good night in Spanish. It definitely had a very flirty, silly undertone.
More Here...

Monday, 21 May 2012

Why Do You Still Bother Me?

So I broke up with my ex approximately 6 months ago and I have a new boyfriend now who I am totally happy with (backstory). I don't regret breaking up with my ex at all because life was miserable with him. But why then does it hurt when I look at the Facebook page of my ex? We were together for 3 years so I know I'm not supposed to be able to completely forget him, I just don't understand why it bothers me so much to see what he's up to.

Have any of you experienced this too?
Skype Sex: Are You Into It?

Skype is sexy technology. Initially created as a free long distance calling device, our generation is exploiting Skype in a way our love-letter-writing grandparents would blush at. Long distance relationships can suck, and Skype can really numb the heartache. But does 24-hour access ruin the romance of being appart, and mute the joy of being together again?

Long distance doesn’t feel so long distance when the one you want is only a webcam away. Long distance relationships got a bit of an image makeover when Skype came along: in a good way. Who cares if you live your lives with a 12-hour time difference? If you’re sleeping when they’re awake you can leave your laptop on and wait for the delicious Skype calling sound to wake you up. More Here...