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Friday, 27 January 2012

  • What You Are Actually Entitled To in a Relationship


    I have been thinking about this subject for a long time, but after reading Entitlement and Standards, I figured I might as well write out what has been going through my head. So, keep in mind, this is an opinion piece.

    When we were little, we always viewed a reward as an entitlement to our hard work. Whether it was money for getting A's on our report cards or having ice cream if we stay quiet throughout the day. It was the little things we looked forward to (though now, it seemed more so as a bribe rather than a reward).

    This sense of entitlement carries over into our relationships as we get older. A lot of people expect plenty of great qualities from their partners, as well as "following certain rules" either suggested or coerced onto them. I've seen people make it a point that they should receive gifts every month as an anniversary present, or they have to be taken out to the fanciest of restaurants or required to have sex as much as possible in a week. I mean, sure, these are all great things to receive, but are we necessarily entitled to them in every relationship? More Here...
  • Setting Myself Free

    The other day, my boyfriend got mad that his friend was texting me. It was overly flirtatious in his opinion, whereas all I saw was friendliness. And don't get me wrong, I'm not that skank kind of girl that thinks she's doing no wrong. There was nothing there at all, but he doesn't let me talk to any boys, so talking to his friend that is a boy was even a threat.

    But right now we are sitting in the same room, both studying for coming exams, separately. On the tv is his girl celebrity crush, and we have to watch that. And on his phone he is texting another girl whom I don't find a threat at all and am not jealous of in any way. But if you were to ask me, if I found their friendship annoying and obnoxious, I'd have a few words to say about that, but that's another story for another day. We just got back from watching a bunch of his girl friends playing basketball, as well.

    I'm not jealous, but my point is that I don't worry about that stuff and I just let it go even when he's attempted to cheat on me three times (all unsuccessful... pathetic) and yet he has the nerve to forbid me from texting who I want. I thought it'd be okay considering it was his friend, so he knew nothing was going to happen there. But not even that is allowed.More Here...

  • My Gut Tells Me Things are Not Adding Up

    I have been dating my girlfriend for 3 months now and I just have the gut feeling that something is not adding up. This saturday she is going to a birthday party for a 3-year-old, and yes the party is at a friend's place. At one time, he wanted to date her. I have met the guy and he does have a girlfriend now but it just seems funny.

    My girlfriend and I have plans after, and I made it clear that I have nothing going on and just want to lock down a time that we can meet after. The party is from 2-5 and she says she doesn't know how long she is going to stay. It's all kinda' up in the air at this point. I know that an invite was sent out to over 35 people and this might be a big party. More Here...

Thursday, 26 January 2012

  • Stop Talking About Your Ex!

    I just got an interesting phone call from one of my best guy friends.  He was complaining that this new girl he has been seeing always talks about her ex's.  In his words, he said, "If something reminds her of something she did with one of her ex's, it's a story.  A memory becomes another story.  It's like she has had no life outside of her boyfriends!  It's driving me insane!  She got mad at me the other day because I DIDN'T tell her about one of my own ex's, but that was before her! Why does she even care? Then, when I told her that, she said, 'Because knowing where someone has been in their past is part of getting to know them.'  And now I'm confused...." More Here...

  • I Think I Was Just Friend Zoned By a Guy

    I like this kid. I was pretty sure he liked me. I don't know any guys who really go out of their way to hang out with a girl if they aren't interested, or so I thought. We hung out casually but I thought things were going pretty well! He's kind of an awkward dude, and I'm sort of awkward myself, so flirting and was weird but I was pretty sure it was there.

    Then he started talking to me about all these other girls he was into and all these other girls that rejected him and I was like, "Why are you telling me this?" I think it's because... I WAS FRIEND ZONED! More Here...
  • Can Cheating Only Happen in a Committed Relationship?


    This post was submitted anonymously.

    I am a recovering woman from the infamous first real heartbreak. And I'm a little confused.

    Here is what happened.

    My ex and I had been together for over 2 years. Neither of us had ever lasted in a relationship with others for much more than 3 months, and we were the first "serious" relationship to each other. To me, he was my first...everything. Anyways, after 2 blissful years, with a tiff here and there, I felt like we were falling out of love.

    I felt lonely even with him lying next to me, and I felt like he wasn't putting in the effort for me. Plus, I had to move back home from college, and it would be difficult to keep it going when I felt like he treated me like any other friend with the exception of the benefits part. After talking about it, he didn't even seem like he wanted to try and improve. I would have given him the chance if he wanted, but he was all too willing to let it fall.

    So we said we would try being just friends, since it was that way already anyway.
    More Here...

Wednesday, 25 January 2012

  • Entitlement and Standards


    There's an on-going battle in my mind - a fight between what I want and this undeniable fear that I'll end up alone. I look at my "ideal man" and think to myself, "I'm not looking for anything extraordinary...am I?" I begin to weigh out the pros and cons of waiting to find this dream person or just settling down with someone who is kind and genuinely cares about me - regardless of how they fit my criteria.

    Then I shake myself. Let's take a look at the divorce rate. Is that the price of settling? You end up with someone you aren't truly compatible with. Is compatibility congruent to ideals? Or is compatibility something completely different - is it just a feeling of completion in a singular, serendipitous moment that you fall into? Is there a science to finding love? More Here...
  • Best Friend vs. Girlfriend

    So, this past weekend, a situation came up and I don't quite know how to feel about it.  My boyfriend's best friend since high school texted him and asked him what was wrong with our relationship.  He told her nothing, and asked her why.  She said I was "going wild" on Twitter and she didn't like it.  He isn't on Twitter, but his nephew and niece (both 16), and three of his other friends (including this girl's ex-boyfriend/baby daddy) are all following me. 

    None of them have ever said anything about having an issue with my tweets, or mentioning an inconsistency to him.  So he gets mad and starts to argue with me, and I am completely lost.  She said I posted something about being "Team Single" and there was a picture of my lingerie, and all this nonsense.  I didn't know, at the time, that she was the one who had said it.  He claimed to have gotten it from more than one person, but I know he was just saying that to protect her. 

    When I explained to him that a lot of the things I post are random, or retweets of things I relate to or agree with, he asked to see my page.  My Twitter is public, so anyone can access it.  After a little more bickering and him telling me to think more before I post stuff, he saw my page, decided there was nothing incriminating, and dropped it.  The tweets she was referring to were years ago, before I even met my boyfriend.  I never name names unless I mention someone, and I definitely don't put my really personal details up for the world to see. 

    Hell, I don't even talk about my son on Twitter or put pictures of my son on Facebook!  I don't want the entire world to know every intimate detail of my life.  It's none of their business.  Most of it, like Twitter is supposed to be, is random thoughts spurred on by what's going on around me or something I see/hear on TV/radio, etc. like EVERYONE on Twitter does!  IT'S JUST TWITTER! 

    I really don't understand why SHE is so damn upset about things that she is not only bringing up from before I even met my boyfriend, but current things that she is misunderstanding and could have easily gotten clarification from by simply asking me. More Here...

  • First Boyfriend: Scared Out of My Mind!


    This post was submitted anonymously.

    Hi, I'm 14-years-old and have never had a boyfriend. I'm what my friends call "the school's sexy nerd" apparently, even though I prefer paintball and Halo over painting nails and flat irons. I am supposedly really cute. I've never had a boyfriend before and I'm Christian so I have a purity ring which means no sex until I'm married.

    A while ago, I met this boy who's a sophomore (I'm a freshman so it's not that bad). We are really good friends and he is absolutely adorable! Today he told me he liked me; I, in turn, told him that I also liked him. We chatted and then he clarified to make sure that it was official that we were dating. I somewhat awkwardly said, "Yeah, okay. Sure...."
    More Here...

Tuesday, 24 January 2012

  • Stalking v. Courtship: 10 Signs You Should Back the #&%* Off


    How many times have you heard this story? Boy meets girl. Boy falls head-over-heels in love, but Girl is less enthused. Boy persists in wooing Girl, until eventually, Girl realizes that Boy is her knight in shining armor. They live happily ever after.

    Persistence wins the day. Some people, however, confuse persistence with refusing to hear “No.”

    I appreciate a persistent man. Heck, I love the thrill of (being) chased. But stalking is not courtship. Harassment is not courtship.

    In the spirit of charity and good will, here's a handy list of 10 signs that you may be stalking or harassing your intended significant other and not, in fact, winning them over with your persistent 1am texts.

    Your attention may be unwanted if... More Here...

  • A Man on a Leash


    For the past months - damn, maybe even years! - there has been one issue on my mind: Men being somewhat "owned" by their female partners. I first encountered this when I was 19 and my friend's girlfriend was calling him basically every 30 minutes asking him questions along the lines of:

    "Where are you?"
    "What are you doing?"
    "When are you coming back?"
    "Who are you with?"
    "Are you telling me the truth?"

    I could not help but ask, "What's up with that?"

    And now (6 years late) I am asking the same questions. Why do some women act like that? Why does a guy encounter problems when he wants to hang out with his buddies at the local bar? Are women jealous over their boyfriend's friends? Is that it? Or are women so afraid that a man may meet "someone else, someone better" while he is hanging out at some random place on an idle Friday night? More Here...

Monday, 23 January 2012

  • So, I'm Kind of Caught Between a Rock and a Hard Place


    Right now, I am stuck between the feelings for my current boyfriend, and my ex boyfriend
    . I love both of them dearly and it is so hard when your feelings for one person surpasses the feelings for another.

    The ex (it will be a year, April 28th, since we've broken up) was amazing and everything that I could ever ask for. He wanted to marry me, or that's at least what he said, which he wasn't really the lying type. He was sweet, caring, and he never kept any secrets from me... or so I thought.

    Our break up involved his enlisting into the military without informing me and being ignored for 3 days because he was too afraid to tell me. But it wasn't our break up that made him and I estranged from each other, it was some unneeded/regretted arguments (you know, the arguments where your "friends" are telling you stories and you believe them because they "wouldn't lie to you") after that which made us dislike each other. 
    More Here...

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