Datingish | true stories on the journey from single to *it's complicated*

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Thursday, 24 May 2012

He Hasn't Kissed Me Yet!

So here's an interesting story....

I'm almost 21 and never been in a relationship before. My best friend and I have been dancing around for the past two years but decided at the end of the summer not to date. But, I've been in love with him this whole time so I've been spending this past school year trying to reconcile this final decision with what I want.

At the end of spring break, I decided to randomly ask someone I knew out to coffee. We work on a lit mag together. I think we had all of half a conversation before. I knew nothing about him except that he was cute and, during a meeting, he complimented a poem I submitted anonymously. So anyway, I sent him an awkward email and four days later we went on a 6-hour long coffee date.

Great! Fantastic! I saw him a few times again over the next week and a half or so and then we went out to dinner. Afterwards, I asked him if we could date casually. He gave me a non-answer, and then texted me asking if we could meet up the next day so he could explain.
More Here...
Part 3: Okay, You Guys Win

My last two posts about a girl I really like who is currently in a long distance relationship ("Wanting to Make Someone Cheat" and "The Acute Love Triangle") have given me some interesting insight. I really like making these Datingish posts for that reason. It's a good way to get the general take on a situation.

You guys out there may someday help me to really know how to pull everything off perfectly. Some comments are helpful, some really harsh, some just plain mean, and some that show me what I still haven't even mentioned about the situation yet. As mean and occasionally immature as some of you commentators can be, all of your points of view on the situation are extremely valuable.

Something I really want to clarify is that I am definitely no scumbag. Some of you might find this notion unbelievable, but there is a huge difference between genuinely having feelings for someone and just wanting to screw them. Maybe a better title for my first post in this series would have been "Wanting to make someone leave her current boyfriend for me." More Here...

Wednesday, 23 May 2012

Couples Who Dress Alike

I remember meeting a boyfriend for lunch one day and realizing we were wearing matching outfits. It's one thing to have maybe similar shades of a shirt on, but there we were... both in kelly green tops and black pants with black shoes. We shared a laugh and felt a little silly for seeming to be "one of those couples" that plans outfits together.

I can understand wanting to dress at the same level for a certain event. I'm one who usually leans towards dressing up as opposed to down, though it will always depend on the outing. I don't particularly care about a date matching me or dressing up for me, though if a certain night calls for a dress code I won't hesitate to mention it.
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Does Love Make You Boring?

Heartbreak is brilliant for creativity, and the singer Kelly Clarkson has made millions from it. But now she’s got writers block. She told People magazine her happy relationship means she’s just not as inspired as she used to be.

The same goes for Adele. “21”, the biggest selling album of the 21^st century, was written after her terrible break up. What’s her third album going to look like now she’s apparently engaged? Can you imagine “Someone Like You,” but with lots of hand clapping and videos of Adele running through fields of corn, smiling to herself? Who’s going to buy that crap?

Being in a relationship is the best thing in the world, but can it make you a bit boring? I’m going to try and cast a critical eye over my recent life choices and behaviors so see if my relationship is making me dull. More Here...
Dealing with a Petty Partner

This post was submitted anonymously by a Datingish user.

How do I deal with a partner who is extremely petty in disagreements and always creates double standards? It's really hurting me. I'm trying to be the bigger person but it's hard. I don't what to do because she won't stop even after I've told her not to.

Do I break up with her? We've been together 6 years and it seems silly to break up, but then again she's not respecting my boundaries.

Help!
Moving Out of a Boyfriend or Girlfriend's House

I have been thinking about moving out of my boyfriend's house and back to my mother's. I have been living here for two years and I feel like I have built my life here. Lately, I really just want to pack up my things and go, but I've just been having trouble starting. It's so much to just pack up and take your things, and then I don't even know what I should take.

Do I take the things I bought? Like the pictures on the walls or the holiday decorations? Dishes? More Here...
What's Your Weapon Against Heartbreak?

You know that feeling. When you've been hurt by someone, and you're feeling the pain all the time. (Did you know your body can't tell the difference between physical and emotional pain?) You can't concentrate. There's more silence in your day from not calling/ texting/ IMing them. The memories are on replay in your head, full of confusion and the hurt--and wondering what the hell happened.

Oh yeah, I've been there. More Here...

Tuesday, 22 May 2012

Premarital Counseling: When is the Right Time?

This post has been submitted anonymously by a Datingish reader.

My mom recently informed me of her friend's daughter's recent break-up with her long-time boyfriend. The reason? After about 5 years of dating seriously (they're now in their late 20's), the couple decided to enroll in premarital counseling before taking the next step, namely, engagement.

Apparently, the premarital counseling sessions revealed major discrepancies in mentalities and values that, in their opinion, were ultimately too deep or serious to resolve. So, with mutual understanding of the circumstance, they peacefully split up.

From this personal account, my mom concluded that all couples who are seriously dating for marriage should do premarital counseling early on, before engagement, so that issues that haven't been considered or dealt with can be addressed and worked through without the looming pressure of a wedding in a few months.

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Why You Should See The Five Year Engagement

I'm not one to write movie reviews and what not but I thought everyone, especially couples, should see The Five Year Engagement for 3 reasons:

1) It's a RELATIONSHIP movie, not a wedding movie. It's not "OMG!! Cake, flowers, dresses!!" Yes there's some wedding planning in it but it's not all smooth sailing or happy moments. It all gets jumbled around for various reasons. It shows the truth of relationships. Life happens, people change, & plans shift course so it shows how a couple deals with that while on the road to marriage. No cliché swept off her feet, get married in less than 6 months with the perfect wedding in THE perfect dress movie (for once). More Here...
Thoughts on Polyamory

I was talking to a friend the other day about jealousy and polyamory. The idea is certainly appealing. It's hard to believe only one person can complete us so satisfactorily.

He's currently interested in a girl who seems to be interested in everyone. A bit of a free spirit, he says. We got to talking about what makes a person jealous and our natural need for possession. To say "you belong to me and me alone" is a very powerful thing to say to someone and to mutually agree upon with another.

While his jealousy does flair when his love interest talks of sleeping or seeing other men, he hopes to use the connection he has with her to challenge his views on monogamy. Who's to say he's entitled to feel jealous about this woman's love life?
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Losing Your Virginity

I'm 19 and still a virgin (no shame right here). It's not that I'm a prude; I just always felt it should be with someone special. (You can ask my boyfriend--I'm definitely not shy about sexual matters, I just want it to be the right timing.)

Everyone my age has casual random sex and that just seems like an invitation for diseases to me. That and how many pregnancy scares can one girl have before she realizes she should use more protection or just stop having sex?

I mean losing your virginity is supposed to be awkward, right? Why would you do that with a stranger? I'd rather do it with someone I could laugh about it with later. Someone who I could talk it out with and learn how to get better. How do you ever get better or learn good techniques if almost every one of your sexual encounters is with a different guy? More Here...
Why I Think My Crush Likes Me

My Dear Readers,

I noticed a trend in the comment section of my last post. A lot of you commented how my crush showed zero interest and how I should just give up. That was true, in the beginning. The rejection was as harsh as the slamming of the door or in my case, my heart. But, after we resumed our friendship, things began to subtly shift. And so, I present to you my evidence. Bear in mind that all this happened AFTER he rejected me.

1. We were texting intently and all the sudden, it abruptly stopped. He called me to let me know he was sorry, he was working and he hoped he hadn't hurt my feelings.

2. We were hanging out on the last day of finals in a group and he had to leave. He immediately started texting me, I started texting him back in pig Latin since we had all been talking in pig Latin all night. I texted him (in pig Latin, which is very difficult to do, by the way) that I liked him when he was being silly, he texted me back and said (in English) "yes, I am enjoying this."

And yes, the man can speak proficient pig Latin, so he knew exactly what I was saying. At the end of the conversation he wished me a good night in German and I wished him a good night in Spanish. It definitely had a very flirty, silly undertone.
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