Thursday, 07 March 2013
We've known each other since December when I transferred job locations. I never had any intentions of asking her out much less getting involved with anyone else for that matter since I am leaving for the Navy in April. However, in January, I was given the opportunity by my recruiter to leave earlier in February which I eventually agreed to do. Shortly after, I was plagued by the flu and pneumonia and now I'm leaving in April again. And if it wasn't for this occurrence I would never have asked this girl out.
It should be mentioned that I had asked my boss if she knew I was joining the Navy and she said yes. I figured if she already knew then she would know what she was getting herself into and it was worth the risk to ask her out. I never thought that our relationship would turn out the way it has but it feels like we've been dating for months in only a time span of three weeks. Things developed so quickly I couldn't help but ask her how she felt about me leaving in 7 weeks one night when she was over. Turns out, this was kind of news to her ears. She mentioned she might have remembered hearing about it awhile ago before we started dating but never thought much of it.
I told her I thought she knew. I told her I almost thought about ending the relationship before it got too heavy because I didn't want to hurt her feelings. All my friends told me to wait until it was almost time for me to go before bringing up my leaving but I didn't think it was fair to wait so long. I thought that night and moment would have been the end of our relationship then and there. It wasn't. We ended up having sex for our first time that night and we've been intimate since.
We always hug, cuddle, kiss, hold hands. We both told each other we have strong feelings although she said she was confused. She asked me if I could postpone my leave date but I'm not sure if I am willing to do that nor if I can. We are still dating but I can't shake the thought from my head that once I leave it wouldn't be fair for either of us. I could be committed to a LDR but I'm not sure if she could.
I don't know what to do. I've thought about breaking up with her more than a few times but then I also think she could be the one worth waiting for. I've read a million blogs and websites where people say LDR's don't work and others where they do. We had a talk and said we would stay together until I left. Would it be selfish of me to bring up the topic again and honestly tell her that I am looking for a long term relationship, and willing to make it work even though I'll be leaving soon and asking her how she feels about it?
If she doesn't feel the same way I guess it would be worth ending things. Or should I wait a while longer? I just feel like the longer I wait to say this the harder it will get, and if things are gonna end anyways why should I drag it on. I still have 5 weeks before I go. I'd like to believe we could make it work.