This post was submitted by Lauren.
My boyfriend smokes cigarettes, and I hate it. It makes me really sad, and sometimes it's all I can think about. Crying or drinking heavily is usually the way I deal with it—
unhealthy, I know. I even tried smoking in front of him once to prove a point, but that didn't work either. He knows how much it hurts me, but he's addicted so he does it anyway
We've recently discussed moving in together. I told him I wanted him to at least try to quit before moving in. He said he is going to try quitting again (however, he said this BEFORE I told him that I was having reservations about us moving in because of his smoking). This is about the 10th time he's tried quitting since we've been together. I've tried to be supportive and help him each time, but whenever we fight he goes back to smoking, and I end up blaming myself.
He says he's quitting for himself this time, but was concerned about me wanting him to quit in order to move in with him. He wants me to be able to accept him even if he does smoke... and I do. I told him I love him no matter what. I just want what's best for him. I want to grow old with him, and it kills me to think that he could die young from his addiction. If he doesn't quit, how can I deal with it emotionally? Or do I keep trying to help him quit?