Monday, 04 March 2013
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Is it Too Late for Us?
This post was submitted anonymously.
During my junior year of high school, one of my friends introduced me to one of her guy friends, L. I was immediately interested upon meeting him and in the next few months, we started getting a lot closer. We sat together at lunch and went home together but the only problem was, another guy, D, I'd met from outside of school was interested in me.
I was young and naive when it came to relationships because I had never been in one before so when D asked me out, I said yes despite the fact that I wasn't all that interested in him. This didn't stop L and I from getting closer though and we became really close friends to the point that he would be the third wheel when D and I went on dates.At first I was really happy with where things were because I was able to keep both of them but as time went on, I became more and more dissatisfied with my relationship with D. Our relationship was extremely rocky and it reached a point where we'd break up every week, only to get back together. Throughout this time, L stayed by my side and offered me his advice and I guess without realizing it, I fell for him. I tried breaking up with D because of that several times but we would always end back up together because by then, we'd already been together for a year and I wasn't sure if L felt the same way about me.
Right before school started, I even went on an out of state trip with L for 2 days because D wasn't allowed to go. I felt a connection with L on our trip so when I returned home, I broke up with D again but ONCE AGAIN, we ended back up together again.
When college started, L left for a school in another state while D and I stayed behind. I thought things would finally be resolved now that L was out of the picture and I guess they were for a little while because soon after college started, D and I officially broke up. I was extremely upset about the breakup because we had been together for over 2 years at that point and of course the first person I called up was L. We talked about it but he was pretty speechless even though he wasn't surprised considering how many times D and I had broken up in the past. But after our talk, for the next two months or so, L went cold turkey and we barely talked except for the occasional conversation every 2 weeks. One of those conversations consisted of me telling him that I had lost my virginity to D.
When L returned from school for the summer, we began to get close again. I also introduced him to my friend S that summer but he wasn't too fond of her. L and I would hang out alone two to three times a week but towards the middle of the summer, we drifted apart again because we were both so busy with work. But then at the end of the summer, I was badly injured and he started being there for me once again. He visited me all the time and once I was allowed to leave my house again, he started going out with me to eat and hang out. Unfortunately, before we could start getting as close as we once were, he had to go back to school.
In the beginning when he went back to school, he would text me every day to talk but eventually he stopped. The weird part was, he also started texting S. They started getting a lot closer and when he returned in December when the semester ended, the 3 of us hung out together. Shortly afterward, I got injured again and he came by the following day to check up on me and he brought my favorite food. He also made a stop by S's house before coming to mine and made her come over with him.
That day was the last time I ever saw him before he went back to school for the new semester. Things were really different this semester because he stopped texting me but not S. In fact, he texts her every day and even volunteers to call her but when I text him, he gives me one word answers and makes no effort to keep the conversation going.
It's really bothering me because I really care about him and I realized that he's the one I want to be with.
Do you think he ever liked me? Do you think he still likes me now? Is it too late for us?
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Comments (21)
I have to agree with the previous comment. Guys speak more through their actions and it's better to forget about anything in the past or anything he's ever said. He's clearly showing more interest in S and you should get over him. Easier said than done of course, but it's what needs to happen.
well if L liked you before, he doesn't anymore.. and you obviously never liked him enough to make yourself available for too long. i feel like you wanted both your boyfriend and him around at the same time, and when both of them are not around, you freak out. L seems to have moved on though, so you should too.
It's not a new phenomenon, either. Hemingway reserves some of his most scathing criticism for a man who marries "the first girl who is nice to him after college."
At first I was really happy with where things were because I was able to keep both of them but as time went on, I became more and more dissatisfied with my relationship with D...It's really bothering me because I really care about him and I realized that he's the one I want to be with.
Hmmm. It doesn't matter what he felt about you in the past. You can't go back to then. It seems to me that you lost your chance to be with L when you dragged him along through the drama between you and D. Can you really blame him for trying to find someone that might appreciate the effort he put in? Think for a minute about how you would feel if you were him.
You wanted the D, and this is what happens when you choose the D over the L.... love!
^^^lol
You can only string a guy along for so long before you lose your chance to date him. If there ever was a chance... it seems like there definitely isn't one now, sorry.
Late is better than leave. Take it easy.
Yep, it's too late.
jakes on you
Sounds like you should take some much needed single time to figure things out. You really made it seem like you need to be in a relationship to be happy, and if you don't fix that now, you'll go down a road I've seen many go down and never come back.
"when D asked me out, I said yes despite the fact that I wasn't all that interested in him."
Why.
Seriously. Is it THAT fucking hard to say "Thanks but I'm not interested" these days? Really?
Whether L liked you or not in the past, you lost your chance. You did not stand up for yourself and make your breakup with D final soon enough. You didn't take a risk and let things happen to you instead of taking charge like an adult. Thus, L is no longer interested in you and he's moved on. Accept it and learn from this experience, and move on.
irrelevant question.
Dump him and get a new dick.
this is your own idiot fault. if you really wanted to be with him in the first place, you would have instead of going for someone you 'weren't that interested in to begin with.' you only want him or think you want him now because you can't have him. it does sound harsh as someone said before but you had your chance. you're like a dog chasing his own tail, you wouldn't even know what to do if you actually got the guy. you wouldn't even want him anymore because you got him. as you said, he was always around, you could spend time with both of them, he was even the third wheel sometimes and you were okay with it. you were using him as a backup plan, now that he's gone you want him. this sounds mean but you need to grow up and figure out what you want and go for it. if you lost him, it was nobody's fault but your own.
Yes, I think he did. and may still, like you. But, there were too many times that you went back to the other boyfriend and he got tired of waiting around.
Sadly, it may be too late. But, if you want, you can lay it all out in front of him and see what he says. Be prepared for him to walk away...but he may come back again.
Make a list of all of the special things he did with you and for you over the years. Bring back the wonderful memories and BE HONEST..tell him how you feel.
It's now up to him to respond.
Do this all IN PERSON>>>alone with him.
Good luck
Christy
he's into S. Guys make the effort to talk to a girl they like. Sorry :( but hey, there are more guys out there! i know, not too encouraging at the moment.
L is happy now , let him be. You missed your chance when he really could have been interested in you.
I don't agree that D was your best friend. A guy does not stick around listening to girls bitch and moan about feelings and emotions without other ulterior motives.. BUT if by chance he shows interest again maybe you should put that extra effort to make things work.yeah you missed your chance, maybe he was sick of being used & overlooked all those years while you were being naive, you can't have 2 guys that you really like, it doesn't work that way. plus, you kept saying you & D kept getting back together as if that wasn't half your fault everytime...
I don't think it's ever too late to tell someone how you feel, as it's up to them how they respond. So maybe you won't be together right now, but maybe it'll happen in years to come! He was a very good friend to you and they say that the best relationships are built on friendship. He could have liked you before but was too afraid to say or do anything 'cause you and D were always on and off. I'd see how things go with L and S before blurting out your feelings. You could always be sneaky and tell him that you "used" to fancy him (even though you still do), 'cause science proves that people can start fancying you when you tell them that haha! Hopefully it'll work. I'd love to hear that you finally managed to get together! Good luck! :) x
You were young and naive when you decided to say yes to D in the first place. It seems to me that L probably liked you the whole time, but you did not pick up on that. If you really want to know if its too late for the two of you. Talk to him in person and tell him how you feel. You'll get real answers from the person you wrote this post about. The rest of us can only speculate and give opinions. Good luck.