Okay so I have to admit: I am and always have been
completely obsessed with baby bumps! People just look so freaking cute when they are pregnant. Not to mention, the idea of being pregnant and creating a life is just so beautiful to me. I can't wait for the day I am ready to take that step in my life! Okay... I'm lying. I can
definitely wait, but I'm sure having a baby will be super exciting one day.
But there are just some things about the whole pregnancy process that really bother me and that I feel people don't talk about enough. Here's my biggest issue. The day that I give birth to my child
I DO NOT want my partner watching. I mean, sure I want him in there with me sharing the whole experience but I think we can do without him staring at the less than sexy state of my lady parts during childbirth.
I know so many of you will disagree with me and tell me that in the moment I won't care about things like that and that it will be a beautiful thing for the father of my child to see. And I am sure you are right! In the midst of my pain and fatigue, the last thing on my mind will be to worry about which way my man is looking. That is why I think it is a rule I will establish with him way before my due date:
No looking at my crotch, which will certainly be on display for most of the room to see!
I do have my reasons for my concerns. I feel that intimacy is extremely important to a relationship and it is something I always want to preserve. When the time comes for me to start a family with someone I know we will be in a different stage of our relationship but our intimacy is something I never want to lose. Yes, we all know where babies come from, but do we really need to see it to believe it?
I don't want my significant other to be tortured by the images of my cookie looking like a scene from a horror movie. I want that to be a part of me he always looks at with desire.
I know I am saying all this as though it is solely my decision and I know it won't be. Of course, I may be in a relationship with someone who has the strongest desire to watch every moment of the birthing process. As we all know relationships are about compromise, so I will deal with that when the time comes. But unless I am with someone who has an absolute obsession with staring down below as I give birth (which I hope I wouldn't be because that's just weird), then I am pretty sure I have made my decision.
Am I wrong for wanting to hide this part of the birthing process from my partner? Do you think watching a woman give birth might affect the future intimacy of the relationship?Image source.
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Comments (49)
You are free to hide that part of the process if you wish, but if you honestly feel like your partner is going to be like "EWWWWW vaginas and blood and gushing oh yucky poo we're soooo done", then maybe the problem is in your choice in partners.
what Quantum and Erika said.
@Erika_Steele@xanga - I though that the partners usually stay at the head of the bed during the birth?
@Trueinnerbeauty@lovelyish - depending on the hospital and the procedure, they can stand where they want. If I had given birth naturally, my husband could have watched. If I had a planned C-section, he would have had to stay out of the sterile area. However, I had an emergency C-section with an OR and general anesthesia so no one was with me.
i will lay an egg. they can watch THAT.
"I don't want my significant other to be tortured by the images of my cookie looking like a scene from a horror movie."
This thought process seems really childish to me.He's not down there to stare at your snatch thinking "Boy, oh boy! I sure can't wait to put my dick back in there!" He's down there to watch his child be born. I'd hate to think a grown man couldn't separate the birth of his child from future sexual interaction.
I guess it depends on how open-minded your significant other is.
@blonde_apocalypse@xanga - they shaved your crotch? I didn't think they still did that.
@raspbxrrryjam@xanga - It seems childish until you realize how sad it is that in this backward and retarded dating/hookup culture that it's even a concern in the first place. Regardless of age or fatherhood status, grown men are increasingly rare. People generally don't worry about things that aren't possible.
@T3hZ10n@xanga - If you don't even consider someone to be "a grown man"... why would you have a child with them?
That's outrageously irresponsible.
@raspbxrrryjam@xanga - It happens. A lot.
My husband reading over my shoulder wanted me to say he hasn't had a problem seeing my lady bits as an object for desire and was watching the whole time.(despite me not wanting him to look)
I slightly care but I didn't at the same time. I didn't have any meds though. If you have meds you will care because enough pain will be taken away that you will be thinking of that kind of stuff vs. get it out now!!!
I'm currently pregnant and from day ONE I have felt that I will have my husband in the room with me, but I'd really prefer to have him not see what's going on down there. I don't even want to know or see what's going on down there. just give me our baby and let me remember my lady parts as they are now. :D
@T3hZ10n@xanga - I am by no means ignorant to the fact that it happens... I just think that if you want a man who isn't going to be freaked out by child birth you can't choose a man-child to impregnate you.
It's really one or the other.
And I still think the "Omg, he's going to be grossed out by my vagina" mentality is really childish.
Although now that I think about it... I would expect someone who is concerned about upsetting their significant other with that mental image of their 'cookie' vs being concerned about whether or not their SO wanted to view the birth of his child... is likely not the most "grown" person either.
@raspbxrrryjam@xanga - And...?
Oh I'm sooo following this because I would LOOOVE to know if you ACTUALLY do care in the moment in 2, 10, 20 however many years.
My husband was amazed at what my body is capable of and I admire him for thinking I'm amazing after all of it.
@blonde_apocalypse@xanga - Ugh... Thank you for reminding me of why my uterus will never be vacant for business.
If you don't get all worked up about it beforehand, it will be fine. I've been there 3 times. It was different every time. I have some vivid memories -- none of it gross or repulsive.
Why not talk to your man about it? Maybe he can't handle looking down there and would pass out at the sight of it. I know a few waiting room Dads. But I also agree with the other comments. This is the miracle of life. It's not like you can see or will notice that he's looking down there. Everyone will be on emotional overload. You're gonna remember things. You'll forget things. The baby is gonna be the one of the most significant events of your entire life. I remember when my wife asked me if the baby is almost out. she was so exhausted. So yes..I took a peek. I had no idea what I was looking at. And I LIED...I said to my wife in the most loving way I could. "Yes, The Baby Is Almost Here." Held her hand tight and waited for the doctor's next queue. PUSH!!!! Yup. it's gonna be alot like this. You're having a baby. Congrats.
He needs to be there and he needs to see it. He needs to cut the umbilical cord, too That's his job; you get the pain, he gets the horror! lol But you both get a child. Give him a few months, he'll get the images out of his head. Though might be ~quite~ a few more months after that before he goes down on you again... ;>_> But in the end, he'll get over it. In the mean time, it'll give you a break from his libido; time for you to heal and time for both of you to focus on your new baby.