It feels like whenever any of my friends enter a new relationship or hook-up, they always eventually end up wondering the same thing: when is it okay to bring up a discussion about the seriousness of the relationship? Granted, this doesn't apply to all couples, but for many, there seems to come a time when the dreaded "what are we?" discussion is deemed necessary.
Whether it's because you want to make sure your SO isn't playing the field while you're staying committed, or it's because you want to make sure your SO is truly into you, there's definitely rhyme and reason for having a discussion about the nature of the relationship. However, these discussions never tend to go too well.
Often, my girlfriends who want to bring up this topic fear coming off as too clingy and needy
, and therefore go about it in some indirect way that tends to lead to more confusion than clarity.
When I look back on the beginnings of my relationship with my boyfriend, I realize that we never actually discussed our current or future state.
We simply started hanging out more and more, and as we started to develop feelings, we let go and enjoyed our time together. Now, a year and a half into it, we clearly
have a strong, healthy, monogamous relationship, and we never had "the talk.
"Perhaps the "what are we" discussion isn't necessary for all couples
, and maybe it's not truly necessary for any
couples. Assuming both parties are equally interested, why rush the natural progression and turn it into something unnatural and forced? If both parties are not equally invested, then really, there's nothing to discuss. So maybe, there's never a right time to have the discussion. What do you guys think? Is there a proper time to have the "what are we" discussion, and who is responsible for bringing it up?image source