Tuesday, 22 January 2013
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iPhone Obsessed Boyfriend
My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and a half, things are great. We have a 9 year gap between us (he's 34 and I'm 43), and he's a responsible, mature guy. I don't see the age difference between us, or maybe I should say the only time I see a difference in age is when he's constantly checking his iPhone, emails, Facebook, MSN, the news, etc. He wakes up in the morning with the iPhone, grabs it and checks the news, then he goes to the bathroom with it, takes it to the gym, and at the table when we are eating.
At the movies the other day, he kept it in his hand for about an hour because a friend was calling him and he didn't want it to ring, so he would stop the ringing by pressing decline when his friend would call back. He brings it in the living room at night, and even in bed. If after a few minutes he doesn't see his iPhone next to him, it's almost as if he gets into a panic mode and asks, "Where is my iPhone?" Why won't he just shut it off?
We went on a three week vacation to Florida. The thing is, he would wake up checking it, then eat breakfast and then check it at the same time once again. Even if we went for a walk, once we would come back, he would check it again. After that, if we would do an activity, he would come home and go straight to the bedroom and lie in bed and check emails, Facebook, MSN, etc. he even checks out videos about trivial things and people. I could go on, but you get the picture I'm sure.I tried talking to him about it, but he says that it's his problem. However, I told him it's mine also, because he's obsessed and can't live without it for 15 minutes. That bothers me.
How can I deal with this? I need your help!
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- From: sensitive
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Comments (15)
iNTERVENTION?
Does this also affect how he acts around friends and his family physically? He might have also developed a type of phobia where he's afraid about being disconnected from the world?
man, I don't know what kind of intervention is gonna help a problem like that other than telling him straight up to cut it the fuck off and grow up. i'm sensitive to mental health and phobias and if you truly think that's his problem, i encourage you to get that checked out but I would more so outline boundaries of when it is and isn't okay. yes on the couch when we're watching tv. no not at the table when we're eating. etc. if he can't abide by that, then you can choose if you want to live with that quirk for the rest of your life or not. simple! :)
aaand i have a question for you. how can i meet chicks in their early 40s who want to date younger guys? (i'm 25.)
Just tell him it's ruining your relationship. I admit, I use my phone a lot, but not around other people and definitely not when I'm with my boyfriend. It's rude and bad manners to be constantly on your phone around others. When you're alone, fine, it doesn't matter, but have some manners around other people and keep it in your pocket, on silent.
He needs to grow the fuck up and learn some manners, and tell him he needs to do so before he pushes you away completely. I wonder how he'd feel if you did it to him?
omg! hide his phone for 1 day.. or better yet, have a friend's car run over it by "accident" ....*evil laugh!*
this is certainly a growing trend, men and women alike.
did see a funny thing when i was shopping. at the changing room, all the guys were sitting on the bench looking at their cell phones as their gals were trying on clothes. one used it to snap photos of things he liked, but she was going to put back.
good: when waiting
bad: when dating or mating
Bahahahahaha I love this post, and the picture, because that's exactly how I've become with my iPhone.. It's mostly because it's exciting and new and because you CAN. Seriously. Sometimes I'll be on facebook simply because my phone can do it. So this is how my boyfriend and I kind of deal with it. For one, when we're talking, cells take a backseat. I put mine on silent and only answer if it's my mum or an emergency or something. If I need to get rid of someone, I'll just be like, "Omg let me tell this person to shut up real quick.." so if he claims that he ABSOLUTELY has to answer the text, tell him to get rid of the person. If you guys are just watching TV or if he's taking it into the bathroom or wherever that he's not around you, let him. That can be his iPhone time. And don't be afraid to tell him if he's getting on your nerves because he's checking his phone too much. I do it so absentmindedly that my boyfriend will have to gently tell me to get the eff off the phone. Sometimes you just get so absorbed in what's going on there (Words With Friends, anyone?), you literally are encased in this bubble where the rest of the world is shut out. It's scary. Don't be afraid to pop his bubble.
It is weird how sucked in you can get with iPhones, and I think he's kind of half joking when he says it's his addiction, but it can really become one. Kick some ass and tell him that his phone is ruining your relationship, and if he doesn't turn his eyes back on the real world, he might be watching it walk away from him!
Dress up like an iPhone to make him happier?
@TheNotoriousGOD@xanga - Those 'activities for singles' places? I assume single people in their 30's and 40's venture these places. You know, the ones they always advertise on the local radio stations, "Sooo over the bar scene? Want to meet other single people like yourself? Meet once a month and do fun activities - blah blah blah". Or just hit a local dive bar >_>
It could be worse; you could have an 'internet husband'. :-p
Seriously though, the only thing I see really wrong with constant I-phone usage is his looking at it during dinner (that's kinda rude). I guess you can tell him that it bothers you & 'could you try using it less?' but a better approach might be to engage him with activities that require focus or something that he enjoys more than his phone.
From a nerd point of view. Get his iPhones Ip Address and block port 80 from the house and when he asks why it won't work, look at it and say "Well, maybe this would be a good time to talk about how we can take care of this problem. Message me if you want help in how to go about blocking port 80 :3
@specificallyrandom@xanga - haha. i meant more like, how can i know if she's into younger guys. i want to hit a cougar before it's too late (i.e. because i've gotten too old for such a woman to be a cougar).
I'm surprised nobodies said "suck it the fuck up". Honestly? That's what's going to happen when you date someone in this age range. It's 2013 and he's young enough to still be able to fit in with the new crowd, you can't expect him to turn into an old man for you. He still spends enough time with you, it's not like he refuses to partake in his everyday routine because he has to check his phone... he just checks on it when he gets to.
And everyone panics when they lose their phone. That's a lot of money tied up in it, and a lot of personal information as well.
I'm not going to date a 40 year old man and then complain he watches the news too much, that's just what you have to deal with.
I am the same way I can not live with my phones i have an iphone , the new galaxy samsung III that just came out and a 4g Lg metro., its just like an iphone but bigger.., I'm like this because I'm a business type material womenwho is in the Airforce and people be blowing up my phone like crazy so my advice to you is just let him go about his business.., and he would no you are not happy about his situation .., I'm single so that is my best advice to you.( Goodluck) and wish you guys the best!!
Gah, I do think it's rude when people do that, I have a friend who's always texting or facebooking on her blackberry and I just want to tell her to put it the fuck away. Unfortunately I'm much the same, always playing with my phone, although it's more because I need something to do with my hands. I never even get texts or facebook updates! I just need to fidget with it, take the case off and on, press some buttons, pass it from hand to hand etc. I fidget with anything lol
As for what to do? Let him know it's ruining your relationship. It's your problem as much as it is his. If he's not listening when you talk, it's time to take the thing off him until he's willing to pay attention. If he overreacts then he's probably got some kind of phobia/addiction problem that needs psychological help.