Tuesday, 22 January 2013
I’m guessing many, if not most, of you share details about your dating life with your friends, and many of you even write about some of your dating experiences on your Xanga weblog or as a post on Datingish. Would you ever consider sharing that kind of information with your parents?
Growing up, it was interesting for me to observe the varying degrees to which people I knew from school would talk to their parents about what was going on with their dating lives. I had some friends whose parents were constantly "in the know" about whom their child liked and how much of an attempt their child made to talk with that person or ask that person out. They would also know the story of their child’s first kiss and many of the details about what happened on their child’s dates.
On the other hand, other parents were completely left in the dark when it came to their child’s dating life because their child was too uncomfortable or just did not want to share that information with them. Some parents went as far as to ask their child’s friends about whether or not their child was seeing anybody at school because these parents just had no idea. The children of these parents would grow angry at their parents and sometimes even their friends for betraying their trust by disclosing that kind of information to their parents; after all, they felt that what happened at school was none of their parents' business.
I, personally, was a very private person growing up. I never even used to talk about my dating life with my friends, let alone my parents. Although I would consider myself close to my parents, I would never tell them about people I liked and, when I was in my teens and started dating somebody I knew in high school, I rarely talked about the relationship with them because I felt very awkward about discussing my dating life.
As I got older and became an adult, I matured and the nature of my relationship with my parents changed. When I reached my late teens, instead of dictating what I could and could not do (for example, no going out on such-and-such night because I have homework) my parents trusted me to make my own choices about some very important details of my life (where to go to college, what to study, where to live, etc.) and supported my decisions. Now that I’m 24 and am in a serious relationship, I find that it’s much easier to talk to my parents about my dating life – in fact, I’m finding that I want to talk to them about it at times; they have a lot of great wisdom to offer and relatable experiences to share.
Would you go – or have you gone – to your parents for dating advice? Why or why not? Did you find their advice helpful?