Tuesday, 22 January 2013
My ex-boyfriend and I were together for almost three years. I was his first girlfriend and we were engaged for a while. We had a complicated relationship for a while after we broke up. I guess you can say we were "friends with benefits," but we actually had feelings. He kind of had a hard time balancing things out with school and a relationship because he would get distracted.
Last month, in December, he told me that he wanted to end the complicated relationship that we had. He said that he wanted to start 2013 fresh and he wanted to do better in his life. I thought this was predictable from his side because he always said that whenever he failed a class. This was when I didn't see him as often during that semester.
I, personally, was hurt, but I wasn't sure if he was being serious about it this time because he had said it multiple times before, and yet, he kept coming back to me. I remember I went through seven months of depression because I wanted him back, but he was treating me very badly. He just kept pushing me away, and he was saying rude things to me. So, it was like a cycle because he came back again after he saw that I was trying to move on to someone else. I don't want to always have to find someone else in order for him to realize that he still loves me and wants to be with me.
He told me he wanted to have sex with me one last time before 2013 started. His reason? He said he didn't know what the reason was. His reasoning for wanting to end the complicated relationship? He said it was tiresome being in a relationship with me. It was tiresome because he felt "obligated" to do things as a boyfriend, even if I didn't ask him to do anything for me. He also said I was "boring" because he knew everything about me already, and he couldn't see me in his future. He didn't have a further explanation for those reasons. I mean, I knew we were comfortable with each other, but boring?
Here's the difference in this situation: I haven't seen him since our New Years kiss. I sensed that he was tempted to see me, but he said that he really wanted to move on. And during these two weeks, I've noticed that he's been getting drunk to the point where he throws up and passes out with these new friends that he has recently met.
Two weeks later, he was interested in a girl that he met in December. She came into town to see her friends, but she lives in a completely different state. He texted me out of nowhere a few days later and said, "I hope you're happy. Everything came out the way you expected. She told me she couldn't date me."
I was not happy. I was upset that he even brought up the subject of dating to her in the first place. He said that he didn't and that she did.... They didn't do anything, just Skyped and talked a lot. He said he doesn't want to move on from her because she said that she thinks it's better to give it time. It was upsetting me because he couldn't even give me time and attention when we were dating and we lived in the same city, but he thinks that he could make a long distance relationship work with a girl that he just met? My brother thinks what she said was a bit "cliche," since she didn't want him to think that she was "leading him on." But I'm still not very clear about it.
He kept saying that he's moved on from me, his grades from school in 2012, and from everything that happened. But even after saying that, he's still talking to me. He's still answering. He may be saying harsh words, but he's still talking and answering. Multiple times when we were arguing, he said, "Forget this. I'm moving on." I replied, "I thought you already moved on." Last night, I asked him to be completely honest with me and asked if he really did completely get over me. He replied that he didn't want to talk about it and that he was going to sleep. The texting conversation stopped after that.
I'm not sure if it's because he really wants to move on, he's projecting his feelings for me onto this new girl or if it's the excitement from meeting somebody new. I don't really know how to take everything that has been going on. I have been really depressed and I have been crying for the past few days.
What should I do? What could possibly be going on with him?