Monday, 21 January 2013
Some time in November of 2011, I was looking through my friend's Facebook and saw this really cute guy tagged in her picture. I decided to add him because it said he was her cousin. He accepted my friend request and we talked for two months before we ever even met in person. I know, it's a little sketchy to meet someone online, but he was my friend's cousin.
Well, January 3rd, 2012, we finally met in person. He stayed the night at my house and we hung out the next three days. It was a little quick, but he asked me to be his girlfriend on January 6th. Well, here's a little background on him and a little on me.
He has a son, who was born on my birthday. I'm the type of girl whom before that, never would have dated someone with a child, but I decided to give him a chance. I was thinking maybe he was different from other guys because he had a child, but man was I wrong.
About two weeks after we started dating, my one friend on Facebook asked me who I was dating. When I told him, his response was, "Oh man, I thought he was still with his baby's mom." I thought nothing of it because at the time, I trusted him and I really liked him. Well, a little later, the same guy asked if I wanted him to ask this girl if they were still trying to remain together. I told him I didn't care because, honestly, I didn't want to know. I had hope for him that it wasn't true.
My friend asked her and she told him. Well, he then broke up with me and obviously I was furious. I kept trying to get him back, but he said it would be better if we just waited because he didn't want his baby's mom flipping out on him.
We remained friends until March 9th when he invited me to his house. We watched movies all night and he eventually asked me to be his girlfriend again. I obviously said yes because I still had feelings for him. I had actually fallen for this guy and his son which was a really crazy thing for me because I don't let people in that easily.
A week later was St. Patrick's day and he wanted to go to a party at his cousin's house (the same cousin I met him through). Well, that same night was my manager's going away bowling party, and I really wanted to go, but I didn't want him going to his party without me because of my past. Well, I decided to let go of my past and just let him attend the party, although I had told him how I felt. Considering it was a bowling party, I couldn't really talk to him which made him a little mad, but hey, it was bowling and it was a going away party.
I wasn't going to sit by my phone all night. He then proceeded to make me feel bad by saying that he didn't go to his cousin's party because I didn't want him to go, which was total bull because I read her Facebook and it said she was sick and cancelled the party. Then, he told me to not even bother texting him anymore even after that night. I wasn't in the mood to go through the roller coaster ride with him again. So basically, I took that as him breaking up with me.
He got really upset and told me that's not how he meant it, but I still wasn't in the mood for the roller coaster. We basically ended it. We would talk every day still and I would go to his house all the time. I fell even more in love with him and his son and I would do absolutely anything he asked me to!
After a while, I decided I could give him another chance and maybe we would be stronger than ever because it was about 3 months after we broke up. I then found out that he was also having sex with this other girl, which totally threw me off guard because I thought things were going really well. I then totally threw him off to the side not even acknowledging anything he was saying to me because he just kept apologizing to me and saying he regret doing it with her and all that.
We didn't talk all summer until he sent me this long message, but couldn't tell me in person about how he wished he would have done the little things I asked him to do with me because he saw me happy with my new boyfriend (who lasted 2 weeks because he was just really clingy and I was heading off to college at the end of the summer). I didn't want to start college in a relationship and to be honest, I didn't really like him much.
So a few months after college started, my ex contacted me again and I honestly did want to see him and see how he was doing. I went to see him for a weekend. I cleaned his entire house, and babysat his son while he went to work, which wasn't a big deal, until the day after I left. He started completely ignoring me. We stopped talking completely, but every now and again, I'll receive a text message from him telling me how much he misses me and loves me and how sorry he is for everything that has happened.
I don't know if it's just me or if this happens to a lot of people, but every time I see his name on my phone, I get this glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe, he's different and he actually wants to be with me. But still, after all we've been through, he doesn't think he can handle the long distance relationship of me being in college. He said after 4 years, if we're both still single, we can try it out. That makes me just want to stay single, just so I'm single after college, but then again, I don't want to ruin any chance of a better guy coming along just because I'm still in love with him.
I don't know how I can still love him after everything he's done to hurt me, I just do. I can't let go of him... Please help and tell me what I should do.
Keep in mind, there's this guy from my high school that I started talking to a couple weeks ago that really likes me. Only problem is, this Thursday, he's leaving for Afghanistan for 6 months. I just don't know what to do about any of it. PLEASE HELP!