Wednesday, 09 January 2013
I have been seeing this guy (Chris) for 11 months whom I met on an Internet dating site in January—It's a very sticky situation. He looked familiar, until I realized who he was. I always thought he was a good looking guy but I was very taken. He is a police officer in my ex-fiance's precinct. I was left at the altar last December and had my heart ripped out.
Being that I was single now and not wasting any more time with idiots, I decided to take the plunge and email him. Chris and my ex are not friends; they just work in the same precinct. We see each other maybe two times a month. We do not always hook up and sometimes I will go to his house just to cuddle and watch TV. Other times, we do hook up but we have not actually had sex since May. On a few occasions, Chris has gotten drunk and told a few people at work about me, which was a big no-no, only because I do not want Chris to have issues at work with my ex.
Even though my ex-fiance has no say in anything, I just wouldn't want problems for Chris. If I could have a relationship with him, I would in a heartbeat! I love the boy. Now he is a very quiet and shy person and never really speaks what he is feeling. Before we had sex back in February for the first time, he had said that sex leads to feelings... it was almost as if he were hesitant because he didn't want me to become a clinger (I am far from a clinger). I never text him or harass him, so it's not like that.
Fast-forward to two months ago—we were in Vegas the same weekend; he was with his friends, I was with mine—we ended up seeing each other out there on one night. He had called me the night before I arrived while he was drinking a bit and told me that he told some friends from work about 'us'. What he said, I have no idea... point is, he was talking about me to people from work.
While in Vegas, I gave him a letter stating how I felt about him. I told him how I knew we weren't in a relationship but I did wanna get to know him better, and basically asked him how he felt about me. No response at all. I have seen him a few times since then and he has not brought up the letter at all.
Last night we were texting and I mentioned having sex with him, asking why we hadn't since May and he said, "I just don't wanna." Now I feel hurt because I think it's my fault, meanwhile I haven't done anything wrong. I am trying to figure out why. I finally said, "Please just tell me if you have any feelings for me at all," and he said, "As a friend." However, he still wants to hook up with me, just not have sex with. How does this even make sense? If you like someone just as a friend, want to hook up, but not have sex, what the heck does that even mean?
The guy doesn't always hook up with me or use me for sex, so obviously I'm not a booty call. He knows how I feel about him and could have kicked me to the curb a long time ago. Could it be that he is getting feelings for me and just won't admit it? Maybe because he sees my ex every day and feels that we would never be able to be anything?
Any advice or input would be greatly appreciated! Thanks.