I met a transgendered person who I have come to love and whom loves me. I embrace him as a male and his female side as well. I always thought I was heterosexual. I find women attractive and have come to understand my sexuality for the most part. My friend is male with me and for now, we're keeping the sexual part out of it (though it has been tempting).
So I am curious, why do I suddenly feel so attracted to his female side? He (she) is so pretty and tonight I began to feel more physically attracted to him than before. My close friend says it is because I care about and embrace all of him. I have always believed that most of us heterosexuals are born bisexual and make the choice (or the choice is made for us by society, parents, etc.)
So I am curious what people think. Am I embracing my bisexuality? I still find I am attracted sexually more to women, yet my friend looks gorgeous as a man and a woman.
I'm curious if anybody can help me out.
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Comments (13)
And is this love of yours born a man or born a woman?
More details needed in order to understand
sounds like the person has androgynous looks.
I've seen a few guys, who I thought would look attractive if they dressed in drag, although I'm not sexually attracted to females. I saw this guy at work and the first thing that I thought of when I looked at him was that he has pretty eyes
I don't know why I didn't think his eyes were "nice, amazing, stunning" or other words other than "pretty," but omg they were so pretty
he didn't have false eyelashes, eye makeup or any add-ons from what I've seen. I don't remember what color his eyes are. I think they looked greyish or maybe they were just black. it could be another color, but when our eyes met, I was too startled by his set of pretty eyes to really notice anything specific
there was a guy, who also shocked me when I saw his immaculate skin like snow white. he didn't put any makeup foundation/powder or anything. he had no makeup but he had the most gorgeous skin I've ever seen on a guy
it looked buttersoft, too
it made me envious
and also caught me off guard
he made me self conscious. I have pale skin, too, but compared to his, he made me anxious, so when I knew that he'd drop by at work, I'd check myself out in my compact mirror to see if I looked good, too
it was almost as if I was competing with a guy
yet I thought he was cute, so why would I compete with a guy, whom I'm interested in
the thing I noticed is that I have a type and these guys that I'm physically drawn to basically look like they could be brothers since they have similar features and just that particular look that grabs my attention
my other crush looks like the snow white guy, but he's slightly older, so he's the older version of the other guy. my crushes are like a physical succession of age groups of basically the same person. it would sort of be like back to the future, so I'm dating the guy when he's youthful, middle aged, and older or dating father and son
idk, it could be some sort of twisted fetish of mine that I just realized in this comment regarding the types of guys that I'm attracted to. not sure what that has to do with any of this, but I was describing the prettiful guys with features that I'm jealous of. I can't believe that I'm more jealous of guys than females. maybe because they don't have superficially enhanced features.
You love his "female" (feminine?) side because you love everything that he is. It's not strange. As for whether or not you are bisexual, only you can answer that question.
ETA: I don't think people are born bisexual. Who you are sexually attracted to is not much of a choice. It is determined by your reaction to pheromones (and yes some people temper that with what "society tells them they should feel...hence struggling with your sexuality). I feel sexual no attraction towards females whatsoever. No apologies on my part and if I did like women in a sexual way I wouldn't apologize either.
I've seen quite a few young female to male transgender folks (in their 20's). They definitely have a pretty look to them, albeit masculine as well. It's strange, but attractive. Especially their eyes :D
Love is universal. Never be ashamed of who you are or how you feel about others. Do that and your world may seem that much brighter and your days filled with that much more happiness.
Φ ≡
Pansexual exists.
I'm not sure if the person is a MtF or FtM, nor which gender you are. Regardless, I think everyone varies. Some people are gay, some are straight, and some are inbetween. It's a personal bias to assume everyone's experience is like yours. It sounds like you are very happy, and I think that's all that should matter.
I think your sexuality is irrelevant because we are talking about a specific person you love and are sexually attracted to. And that...is really all that matters. You want to be with them, you should be with them. Your sexual orientation is only important when you are looking for someone, not once you find someone. So don't worry about it and just enjoy being with them and being happy.
I know you must be confused, it's a confusing situation. But this is actually very beautiful. I think what has happened is that you have truly fallen in love with this person for who they are. This is a real rarity and you should consider yourself lucky to be presented with the situation, and blessed. You are learning something unique about love that hardly anyone will ever be able to grasp: true love.
Bisexual only denotes two genders- you mentioned your friend is transexual; so it seems to be that you are pansexual. Read the middle section of this if you're still confused:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pansexual
Now that we've gotten all the fancy names and labels out- you're a person who's attracted to another. That's it. You're not a soup can, you don't need a label for your sexuality.
<3
Regardless of whatever orientation you identify with there is always a chance that you will be attracted to someone who is outside of your "usual preference". Some people might call it a period of "fluidity" in your attraction to others. So, you may not want to be so quick to assign yourself a new label. While we all have our own orientations it doesn't meant that we can't fall in love with someone outside of our orientation.
Whether your feelings towards your friend might be regarded as a bisexual attraction to someone outside of your relationship that doesn't really mean your orientation has "changed". Also, there is always the task of trying to make the distinction between your sexual orientation and your romantic orientation - which are not always the same for everyone. After all the stress, its just easier to say you have a sincere and special attraction for your friend and cherish it, period. :)
It is confusing, for sure. Have you talked it over with this friend? Maybe he has some insights?? I will never judge someone else's sexuality...but you seriously must talk to your friend.
Hope the conversation goes well.
Christy