Casual teen sex: Whether you agree with it or not,
it happens. To be sure, not all teens are having sex, and certainly not all are engaging in carefree, meaningless sex. Nonetheless, of the
approximately 47% of high school students who are having sex, you can be sure that not all of them are in committed relationships. And now, there is some real evidence that everyone should consider. According to a
new study done by Cornell,
teens who do engage in casual sex are three times more likely to have depression. A statistic like this is hard to ignore, and it must be put in context. The study also showed that the above did not hold true for teens in committed relationships. It is only true of teens engaging in non-romantic sex.
So, the question surfaces: when, if ever, are we old enough to engage in casual sex? Of course,
everyone is different. Some people probably sleep around in high school and/or college, learn from it, and settle down and are fine. Others, however, might be impacted in a more long-term way by careless decisions they made at a young age.
Other studies have shown that
being in a committed relationship is more satisfying and fulfilling than hooking up and sleeping around. So is there
ever an appropriate time for casual sex? Is high school too young? What about college?
What do you guys think? Is there ever a time for casual sex? And if so, when? image source
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Comments (72)
I don't like casual sex, but I do it anyway. When you're single for a long time it's amost inevitable. I can see how it could coexist with depression.
Whenever you want. I'm more willing to bet how society treats people (especially girls) who engage in 'casual' sex is what causes depression, not simply getting laid.
Use contraceptives, be safe and have all the sex you want. Being in a relationship -at any age- does not automatically mean you're ready to have sex or aren't under pressure to have it.
Depression isn't caused by the casual sex, from my experience, depression leads to casual sex. It's an escape from what you feel by replacing it with something better but in the end you still feel badly when it's all done. Not that casual sex is always a result from depression.Casual sex is okay if you're being safe and you're ready. Who are you to judge another's sex life if it in no way affects yours.
You already know my opinion on this: Never.
@burgerking781@xanga - Who am I to judge? An individual who isn't a slut. Don't act all righteous by playing small or I will treat you accordingly.
I definitely see how casual sex could stem from or lead to feelings of emptiness and loneliness.
@Jenny_Wren@xanga -
http://youtu.be/nS246KKU5Dw
"Apologies to Skinner, but I do believe that I feel like I'm a winner
Having just discovered a long solved modal secret, of how I always feel
So goddamn downtrodden and desperate."
Thus is the viscous cycle of feeling like shit, doing things that make you feel better temporarily, only to feel like shit about those things later... but nobody listens to my self-righteous ramblings, because nobody feels like they deserve to be self-righteous themselves.
There is no "appropriate time", who cares honestly...
In terms of the depression thing, people sometimes choose to seek comfort in the form of physical actions rather than talking to someone about their problems. However, I have met way too many people who are depressed about some thing or another to really call it "unordinary" that those who engage in casual sex tend to be "more depressed". Everyone is a little messed up, if it makes you feel better, you're being safe about it and you are having fun in the moment I can't really see anything wrong with it.
If you are depressed and are aware of these issues that continue to reoccur it is merely a problem with you not seeking out help for yourself and furthering that depression with activities that make you more depressed.
Personally, I used casual sex in terms of a fuck buddy to get over an ex. If anything it helped me OUT of depression by making me feel more confident and in charge of my life, instead of sacrificing so much for another person when in a relationship and getting little to nothing back in return.
SO MANY CONFOUNDS. What, like 80-90% of people have sex before 18. We have higher levels of depression or at least higher levels of diagnosed depression so correlation does not mean causation. We're all depressed AND we're all having sex. Yes - you can have casual sex. Too many people think "casual" means meaningless, or unsafe. While sometimes that is true, it's a wild assumption. As long as you're of the legal AOC, are making the decisions of sound mind and for yourself, and are being safe, I don't see anything wrong with enjoying your sexuality outside of a committed relationship. As for teenagers, I suspect most of them are having sex within the spans of relationships (whether or not they're long term relationships) but that's just a silly assumption of mine. I don't know as much about that.
@lorelei@xanga - "...correlation does not mean causation."
When you add up all of the little correlations you have a collective causation. To disagree is to say the whole is somehow less than the sum of its parts.
Casual sex is okay when both (or all, if more than two parties are present) consent to it. It really is that simple.
Casual sex doesn't always have emotional implications. I, for one, can completely detach my emotions and just have sex for physical pleasure. I don't believe in love and don't feel love, so to me sex is just satisfying a physical need (and yes, we all need sex for optimum physical health, a fact verified by science). So I have no problem doing the "pump and dump" thing, and I have no problem fucking someone and forgetting them the next day.
If someone is much more emotional (read: delusional) and can't detach their emotions from the physical act of sex, well, maybe that could be bad for them. However, many of us are able to detach that part of us, and some people like me don't form emotional bonds with others at all, in any capacity. Everybody is different, I suppose.
i think casual sex is a lot more common than not. some people want to have sex, but don't want to be in a relationship. it's pretty self-explanatory. you don't have to bewhoreish about it, you can have one person you have casual sex with, which is by your definition: having sex with someone who isn't your boyfriend/girlfriend.
It's always ok. As long as you're being safe. No one wants aids.
I don't prefer casual sex and never have. I highly prefer to mindfuck him hard
get into his mind and get him thinking about me not just sexually, but everything else. so he doesn't just think about and want me for sex, but he also thinks I'm very cute and loves talking to me because he enjoys my company aside from sex. he'll be longing for more and we haven't even had sex. teasing is the most exciting part. some people don't really seduce one another anymore. they want instant gratification and while it is "fun" and you get some orgasms, but that's basically it. I want more than an orgasm. mindcontrol is what this bunny likes to play*evil big bird cackle*
to each their own.
I have casual sex. Not often, but sometimes. I don't have time or the desire to be in a relationship, this works pretty well for me :) And by casual I don't mean unprotected sex with people I don't know. Ew.
@secretbeerreporter@xanga - "Casual sex is okay when both (or all, if more than two parties are present) consent to it. It really is that simple."
You're confusing "okay" with legal. The law isn't supposed to be an upper limit placed on how good of a person you're allowed to be.
"Everybody is different, I suppose."
A lot of people would think the same thing.
@Lordv16@xanga - If some people have AIDS and protection doesn't always work, casual sex can't always be okay if nobody wants AIDS.
When you've been desensitized and lose hope in love and monogamy :D
All the time baby, lets go?
I think it's fine if both parties consent and are okay with it. If those boundaries are set, and both people are excepting of the same thing? Than who cares. I've never done it, but I'll never judge those who do.
That being said, people can do it for many different reasons. They're having fun, they like the high it gives, they like the unknowing, they're trying to fill a void within themselves....whatever it is. But either way, it CAN get very disastrous though. And there can be a lot of negatives that come with it. Whether it be a guilty feeling, someone hurt, YOU yourself hurt, anything. lol But when both parties consent and when those boundaries are set....than I don't see a harm in it. It's when it's normally for other reasons that all the negatives get involved with it.
I think the appropriate time for casual sex is when you are not using another person to provide yourself with transitory pleasure and they are not using you to provide themselves with transitory pleasure.
Of course, what this means in practice is that most cases of casual sex do not happen under circumstances which are exemplary of ethical behavior.
Who's surprised? Not me. Not Immanuel Kant. But probably anyone who listens to the morally bankrupt and senselessly vapid popular philosophy of our day.
@T3hZ10n@xanga - how is casual sex not okay if both people want it and they use protection?
@itsyourdecision@xanga - "If some people have AIDS and protection doesn't always work, casual sex can't always be okay if nobody wants AIDS."
Personal gratification isn't what sex is for. So long as it is misused, problems will arise from it. Sex takes more than one person, and therefore it effects more than one person.
If an individual only ever had casual sex with one individual I wouldn't have a problem with it, but such is never the case, seeing as we have a word for that... monogamy, and history will show that people can't help but deliberately throw themselves up against societal clichés in the most cliché manner possible. Casual sex inherently = slut. People of course try to get around this by being in multiple relationships over time in the case of serial monogamy, but it's all the same.
Like I said in a recent entry about compressing random data, comparing it to utilizing nuclear fusion in a quote by Dr. Moses, it's "Like squeezing a balloon..."; The more you push in one direction, the more problems pop out in another.
If a person prefers monogamy, they've almost certainly been and will be in more than one sexual relationship over time and will continue making excuses for continuing to do so... if they prefer casual sex, they are almost certainly opposed to being in a monogamous relationship unless they somehow come up with an excuse for being in multiple 'monogamous' relationships at a time, and people often do... like whatsthatbitch... roxybabe, with her "Casual dating does not mean hooking up". If it doesn't mean NOT hooking up it's all the same, and your numbers will continue to rise regardless of what reasoning you use.
People suck. That's all there is to it.
I'm not sure such a morally ambiguous question can be met with a purely logical answer. I only find it important to me if it deals with someone whose well-being is relevant to mine.
@T3hZ10n@xanga - Well I doubt anyone who has aids would be having casual sex. Sex does take more than one person but if both people are consenting, I don`t see a problem. Sex relieves stress and gives a natural high... sex is not only for making babies. Also there is no law here stating we must only have one person that we can have intercourse with.
@itsyourdecision@xanga - "Also there is no law here stating we must only have one person that we can have intercourse with."
It's funny that's your reasoning now, and yet if there ever were a law stating that you must only have one person that you can have intercourse with your reasoning would change while still having sex with more than one person. Again, it's like squeezing a balloon. Sluts gonna slut.
And yes, sex is only for making babies. Your personal reasons for having it may be different than what it is actually for, but objectively speaking, that is 100% all it is for. It's pretty obvious you can't think outside of yourself so explaining this was rather pointless.
Women can only conceive a baby a couple or few days out of the month. Therefore that biologically proves we can and do have sex for pleasure.