Monday, 24 December 2012
-
Dating a Roommate
When my classmate’s sister, Alice, was a freshman in college, the university placed her in a triple dorm room with two other freshmen, Kate and Sharon. Alice, Kate, and Sharon had never met prior to their move-in date, but very soon after they moved in, Kate and Sharon became close – very close. Kate and Sharon were both lesbians and were very attracted to one another. By mid-November, Kate and Sharon were dating.Alice, the third wheel to this relationship, would sometimes come back from class to find Kate and Sharon spooning in Kate’s bed and stroking each other’s hair; sometimes, they would be doing things that were a lot more intimate. This situation made her very uncomfortable, and she eventually requested a room change because she could not tolerate having to constantly walk in her room and see her two roommates doing intimate things with each other.
Situations like these may sometimes arise when a person lives with roommates. What happens when two people who are roommates form a romantic relationship? Sometimes, it creates tensions within the house or the apartment, especially if there are additional roommates sharing the living quarters with them. Will two roommates dating cause the other roommates to feel isolated, left out, or lonely? Will it create many uncomfortable situations in the house or apartment when other roommates see or walk in on the couple doing things that may not have been intended for other people to see?
In any relationship, there is also a likelihood that the couple will break up. What if the couple breaks up while they are still roommates? What will the breakup mean to other people living with them? When I was still in college, a group of my friends, two men and three women, decided to get a house together for one school year. One of the men and one of the women were dating at the time they all signed the lease, but they broke up early into their time living together. Tensions in the house were high as the two of them had to live together every day for the rest of the school year while being broken up, and the other housemates did not appreciate having to live with two people who still held bitter feelings towards one another and refused to talk to one another much of the time.
Another group of my friends, consisting of two women and three men, rented a house together for what ended up being two school years. In order to avoid awkward situations involving dating between housemates, at the beginning of their time living together, they all agreed that there would be no dating within the house. Everybody stuck to his or her word in the agreement, and these people, for the most part, got along very well as roommates and had a pleasant two years living together.
How do you feel about the idea of roommates or housemates dating one another while they are still living together? Do you believe it is best to avoid the situation altogether, or are there situations where it would be okay?
Image Source
RecommendRelated Posts
Post a Comment
- Back to datingish's Datingish Site!
- Note: your comment will appear in datingish's local time zone: GMT -05:00 (Eastern Standard - US, Canada)
About the Author
-
- From: iamnotyourgrandma
- Name: iamnotyourgrandma
- About Me: I'm 24 years old, and, as my username implies, there is a 100% chance that I am not, in fact, your grandma. I enjoy discussions about relationship ideologies and examining how a person's background/upbringing affects his/her views about how relationships work. Feel free to leave me a comment or subscribe to my site!
Stats: This Week All Time Posts: 0 72 Views: 0 611135 Comments: 0 1648 View all posts by iamnotyourgrandma
Comments (3)
I think it's childish to make rules for lack of self-control. If a person cannot handle (not) dating on a personal, internal level, they shouldn't, and if they want to, they should, but ultimately they shouldn't need rules for (or against) it.
If you consistently behave in ways that are detrimental to furthering your own interests you have far bigger issues than ambiguous or non-existent living arrangement policies.
I think it would be rude especially if they make a lot of sex noises while the other roommate is trying to sleep to get up early for work. and very obnoxious if they are giggling loudly and the other roommate is trying to watch tv, study, or doing whatever else that would be more pleasant if not for the annoying roommates. good thing my roommate doesn't date and is a womanizing sexist, and mainly just goes to stripclubs/bars and leaves the whores there instead of bringing them back. my roommate is considerate and quiet as a mouse. he can do what he wants outside but when he is home, be considerate and everything will be fine. other than second hand smoke, I'd rather have that than deal with an obnoxious roommate, who brings annoying houseguests over to bug me. if they are just two people dating each other, then that is different than having a third wheel roommate.
If two people who are living together decide to start dating, you'd hope they'd have the forethought to consider what they should if they didn't work out. They would have been able to have the difficult conversation of "if this doesn't work, why wouldn't it work and what should we do" if not, then they need to grow up. Personally wouldn't have trifled with it. HOWEVER. Has your sister approached them on their canoodling? I have a boyfriend myself who is over quite a lot and if ever my roommate felt uncomfortable, I encouraged her to say something, and she has and we've both adjusted our behavior. She lives there too and she should be able to have a say in her own home.