Tuesday, 04 December 2012
About four years ago, when I was a junior in college, a good friend of mine had a bit of a problem: an acquaintance of hers had developed a crush on her. The feeling was not mutual, and unfortunately for my friend, the guy would not leave her alone.
My friend and her acquaintance were members of the same student organization, so my friend was stuck seeing this guy several times per week. He would always try to stand as close to her as possible, engage in conversation with her, and IM her the second he saw she was online. He would even mention various conversations he’d had with her over the group email for their shared student organization in order to give off the impression to others that they were closer friends than they actually were.
My friend was annoyed by this guy’s actions and found him creepy, but little did she know that the creepiest encounter was yet to come…
One day, my friend was walking back to her dorm from her physics lecture. She lived in an all-girls’ dorm that was across the street from the college's main campus. As she was reaching into her purse, fishing for her keys, she saw the guy from her student organization pacing around on the side walk in front of her dorm. She shook her head as if to say, “Oh no!” and tried to quickly walk by him, hoping that he would not see her.
Unfortunately for her, he saw her and said hello. She responded with a quick hello, rushing past him without even looking him in the eye. She unlocked the front door to her dorm and went inside. When she turned around, she saw the guy walking right behind her. He had followed her into her all-girls' dorm, even though she most definitely had not invited him inside. How did he feel that her saying "hello" to him in passing outside of her dorm was an invitation to come in? Feeling defeated, yet not threatened by this guy's presence, she went up to her room, engaged in small talk with him, and prepared for her next class 45 minutes later. Thankfully, that was the only time he had attempted to sneak into her dorm.
No matter how much she tried, she could not get this guy off of her case. She acted cold, unfriendly, and curt towards him, hoping he would take the hint, but it did not work; no matter how she acted towards him, he still wanted to be around her as much as possible, and his crush on her did not diminish.
Later in the semester, both of them went to a party that their shared organization was hosting. My friend decided to invite one of her ex-boyfriends from high school, with whom she was still on friendly terms, as a date. She spent much of the evening sitting on her ex-boyfriend’s lap and flirting with him. When the guy from her student organization came to the party and saw her flirting with her ex-boyfriend, the guy grew very upset. So upset, in fact, that he drank himself into a stupor and complained to one of his friends about my friend’s date the entire night.
A couple hours after the party ended, my friend was sitting in her dorm using the computer before she went to sleep. Her ex-boyfriend had just left to drive back home. Suddenly, she was IMed by the guy from her organization. He said that he did not appreciate that she brought another guy to the party and confessed that he had a crush on her. While that came as no surprise to her, she replied back saying that she had every right to bring who she pleased to the party, and he needed to stop pretending like the two of them were a couple. She finally directly told him that she was not interested in him back. Why she did not attempt to do this earlier completely baffles me to this day. The guy was very hurt, but he finally left her alone.
My friend went on to resume dating her ex-boyfriend again, while the guy from her student organization met a girl online about a month later and began dating her.
Have you ever had to deal with a person who was a little too persistent about pursuing you? What happened? How did you handle the situation?