I'm 22-years old and I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years and 9 months. We've been through a lot. We were secretly dating with no one other than our best friends knowing. He's got a bad reputation: he's cheated, and people often say he has a really bad attitude towards commitments. I knew that if things were to go public, everyone I know would break us up. But at the time, I really fancied him, and we got on well. So we agreed to give a relationship a try, secretly.
We dated for six months, when he got a puppy. He made us feel like our relationship had matured, and we were a little family. I was still at university with a low-income part-time job, whilst he had a full time job that just about covered all our spending. Most of my income was saved up in my bank, in the hopes that it was building up for our future. He'd pay for pretty much everything in the relationship from the start, and if I chipped in, he'd feel uneasy.
Time passed and a few more people knew about our relationship - including our families. My parents were reluctant to accept him at first, but as I explained I had been with him for a year or so. They began to accept him.
As soon as I left university, I jumped straight into another job (another part-time job in hope to move to full-time). On the same day of my first shift, my boyfriend came to pick me up from work with a letter. He had been made redundant. The atmosphere was very awkward. We laughed it off but I could see the uncertainty and the stress between us.
He asked if he could move to another country. Without a doubt, I said no. I had a really tough time accepting the distance between us when I was at university with just an hour's drive! I wouldn't be able to handle a 9 hour flight. He recognized this as a selfish act. Was it wrong to hold on to my relationship?
His sister came over from another country to visit him. She's 33 and has been single for 10 years. He had told me she's not the easiest person to get along with, but I had to give in all my efforts to please her for the sake of our relationship, but she is without a doubt the rudest, most ignorant person I have met in my life. She invited people out to dinner when she knew that my boyfriend and I had not gone public yet. I assumed my boyfriend would know to turn her down or at least have a say to tell her off. He didn't and questioned why I couldn't go public.
They had put me on the spot; I wasn't ready to go public. We had an argument in front of her, publicly in a shopping center. She was adding to our anger when she would butt in and tell me to shut up. My boyfriend still loved me and told her to back off gently, but he was still shouting at me. In the end, I said I loved him, but it wasn't the time. He accepted that, turned her down, and drove her to dinner, and we had our separate dinner.
Later that week, his sister bumped into my parents and bad mouthed me to my parents, calling me a gold digger, rude and selfish. My parents called me to come home with my boyfriend immediately; I knew something was bad. My parents confronted to my boyfriend with what his sister had said. At first, he was in denial to comment, then he said there was nothing he could do, as that is his sister's personality. We demanded an apology. Not just to me, but to my parents too, as she is so disrespectful.
We gave him a week to talk to her. At first, she ignored it, and then she denied it. My parents were pushing me to demand an apology. He was not the only person stuck in the middle, as I was too, but he never saw that. I had enough of waiting, so I threatened to break up with him. To my surprise, he accepted the break up. My parents were still furious, as we have never met anyone like her. My mum called her to talk and subtly demanded an apology, but she yelled back at my parents. It was so disrespectful to talk to an elder like that.
Since then, she's gone back to the other country and my boyfriend disappeared, ignoring anything to do with me. One day, he sent a good luck text after hearing I'm looking for a dog of my own and looking for a new job. I asked to meet up to see our dog one last time. We had a good time. He cooked me dinner and took me home. In the car, I asked if I could see the dog again, maybe once a month, but he thought it was the last time we'd meet up so he turned me down.
He said he never wanted to see me again. I know he still loves me; he cooked me dinner, made sure I got home, and couldn't even look at me when I was crying. My friends said that he wanted to leave for the better of both of us, but I don't want to let go. I don't care about his sister's existence anymore, or the apology, as long as I have him back.
All I asked for was an apology from his sister for the rude comments she made about me. Why couldn't he stand up for me? Did his sister break us up? What can I do to change his mind?