Sunday, 02 December 2012
I get this text from guys I'm dating - er, hanging out with - quite frequently:
Hey! You wanna hang out? (Or I get some other kind of variation on it: Wanna hang? Let's hang! Hang Man! Etc.) While some may be quick to say, "Guys are asking to spend time with you! You're a very lucky lady," I'm willing to wager otherwise - and I use the word "wager" warily because it implies spending money, which I probably shouldn't offer to do.
What happened to the date? No one asks anyone out for a date! It's all "hanging out," which is totally casual. I get it - it takes the pressure off, specifically in the universe of free online dating. (Where's the pressure, my friend? You didn't pay!)
I'm just offering this up for conversation, ladies: why do we settle for things that begin as "hang outs" as opposed to "dates…" and then get disappointed when relationships never happen? When he doesn't call? I'm willing to attribute it to linguistics. I'm not saying to rule out the possibility of a friendship turning into a relationship - those can be the most genuine - but in this day and age of the online date (which, if I were paid, would be a PRO at), the phrase "hanging out" seems to simply detract from courtship.
Look, I'm not saying you have to come to my doorstep with a horse and a bouquet of roses, because that could be kind of weird, but why not at least suggest that I might be more than just "someone with whom you hang out?"
How do we break the "casual/friend/hang out" zone?