Saturday, 01 December 2012
I grew up with a good friend, and he has an older brother. I'm 18, he's 25. It was the night of the exhibition in my home town, a big farm show. This was the night when I really met his older brother. He's in the army so I'm going to call him "Army Guy." The night we met, we flirted like crazy, and when I got home I found two messages from him. We talked and figured out that I was going to university in the same town that he lived.
A week after I moved there, he called me up and wanted to hang out. We went to the fair, and he was amazing; just funny, nice, and adorable. Walking home, he pushed me up against a building and kissed me. It was just all around amazing. I went back to his place that night. Once we were in his house, he lifted me up onto his hips and kissed me again. Just all around butterflies.
We spent the whole weekend together, sleeping in the same bed, but not having sex. Sunday morning was our first time. That whole week, he'd call me almost every night, and take me for random drives. The next weekend, as it was pouring down rain, he put on some music, dragged me outside, and started dancing with me. Again, he lifted me and kissed me.
He was so nice and cute, I just couldn't believe it. Everyone was warning me not to get attached, that it was too good to be true. I didn't believe them.
He goes away for work a lot, so the night before he left for a week, I was at work. I got off early and walked to his place, and he wasn't there, so I hung out with his roommate. Army Guy showed up 15 minutes later, asking me where I was. I said I was here. He went to Dairy Queen to get my favorite thing and surprise me by picking me up at work. He was just so sweet.
But he was gone for a week. During that week, I was drinking, and I messaged him saying I missed him. The reply I got in the morning? "I don't want to see you anymore. I never intended for you to ever like me as much as you do. I am sorry for leading you on. I do not see a romantic connection between us."
What the fuck is that?
All I said back was, "I see." I became good friends with his roommate. She's my age and really nice, so when he was back, one night I went over to hang out with her. He acted like normal, doing little things for me, but he only hugged me good night. Again, a week later, I messaged him and asked if I could use his house as a quiet study place. He said sure.
He picked me up from work and had my favorite liquor, so we just sat, talked and drank.
We slept together, too.
Then I found out he had a girlfriend. His roommate told me. He still hasn't talked to me about it; he deleted me off Facebook and deleted my number from his phone. She's moving in at the end of the month.
I don't know how I should be feeling. It was my own stupidity. And here I am on a Thursday night dog sitting for him, and watching him all weekend.
Am I crazy?