I have recently gotten back with my boyfriend. We've had an on-again, off-again relationship and with each split, his behavior becomes more and more disgusting to me. I've heard rumors that he HAS been with someone else and he admitted (after lying about it the first 3 times I asked) that he kissed someone.
My concern is an STD. My body has had a unique reaction to our "sessions." Not during, but afterward. I've also been going through some female issues so I don't know if this is simply a coincidence or I'm "infected."
My question: Is a man obligated to tell if he has been with someone unprotected while NOT together with his girlfriend?
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Comments (27)
yes! go get yourself tested and get far, far away from him.
Get tested and find a decent guy. If you have a choice, why are you with a guy whose behavior you find disgusting? Turn the relationship back off and find someone else.
get tested, and stop going back to him.
If he wants to be with you, yes.
If someone doesn't disclose their sexual history, it's reasonable to refuse to have sex with them. If you don't trust them when they tell it to you, it's still reasonable to refuse to have sex with them.
It doesn't matter if it's a one night stand or a marriage.
In your position, I'd get myself tested and stop seeing him permanently.
Yes. BUT it is also YOUR obligation to gert tested and he tested too before having intercourse again, especially without condoms. So that is your responsibility too.
Plus don't be quick to judge without a doctors results because it could just be an infection you gave yourself. Vaginas are wonderfuls hosts for infections. Sidenote, if he disgusts you each time, why take him back??? @_@ Taking back a man who disgusts you may have cost you an STI. =/You should never sleep with someone if you don't know their sexual history. You should 100% go get tested, and if you want to stay with him he should get tested, too. If he refuses to get tested, then I would break things off with him. You should break things off with him anyways if you are disgusted by him.
from the top blogs:
"Women are fucking stupid"
i may have to agree with posts (and actions) like these.
maybe he kissed a skank, who gave a bunch of manwhores bjs, including him. then he kissed you and you got mouth herpes or you had unprotected sex with him, so you got stds because that girl with stds infected him. then you gave him a bj and he already has a bunch of stds from that one kiss, so that just multiplied the viruses everywhere
that's the infamous poison ivy kiss
you basically had sex with someone, who was crawling around in the sewer. this is some sort of sick fetish. run from yourself.
Why are you with someone who "disgusts" you? Never sleep with someone without getting testing, even if you're both virgins - you don't need to have intercourse to get an STD.
maybe that 'unique' reaction could be part of bad hygiene practices following sexual intercourse. You probably got a minor uti. Or maybe it's just remorse/disgust.
either way, your stupidity makes me not want to pass on the obvious advice.
I'd get tested & get out of that relationship..
I'm sorry, but why in the fuc* would you get back together with someo ever and over if they just get worse? It makes no sense to me.
But yes, get tested, it is after all your health.
Obligated? No. He doesn't HAVE to disclose anything to you (unless of course he's aware that he has AIDS or HIV, in which case he's legally required to tell you), although it would definitely be the courteous thing to do. YOU are obligated to get yourself tested if you believe you've contracted an STD from him. And if you test positive, YOU are obligated to tell him and anyone else you've had sexual relations with so they can get tested as well.
What I can't figure out is why you'd continue sleeping with him if he "disgusts you." That's the part that makes no sense. It's just asinine.
On again, off again suggests a period of being "broken up".
I suggest you BOTH be tested...and it might help to remember that a lot of STD's have no apparent symptoms for guys---no pain, no itch, nothing...but they are STILL able to transmit things.
I wouldn't care if he's obligated or not. I would just go get myself tested to be on the safe side so I can be aware of it if you caught anything.
BigBrownEyedGirl:
Someone should have let you know... don't spend time with people that you don't like. Get out, get tested and be careful!
Let's hope it isn't as bad as p0rcela1n-d0ll theorized.
Don't wait to see a doctor to rule out anything serious. I think someone who loved you would be honest. So sorry.
Of course a person is obligated to tell you when it comes to health and safety. Emotionally, not necessarily, and I know that is hardly what you are concerned about.
Sit him down and make him tell you exactly where he has been sticking it and if he is using a condom or not.
Honestly, you should be obligated to say whether it's a one time, a fling, a relationship, or a lover. Really now. Too bad there's no such courtesy. It's more a moral consideration than anything else. ANd extremely selfish to say nothing.
You should always, ALWAYS have your partner get tested however. No excuse. No nothing. That's just as much as his responsibility as it is yours and vice versa.
In most situations, never rely on word of mouth. Hell, many times even the other person may on be aware!
Go get your self checked out. Confirm how things are doing under the hood; no harm done.
Good luck.
If you guys break up and he gets with someone else, then you reconcile and get back together it's not really a mandatory thing that he comes out and tells you he slept with someone during that time. Just like it wouldn't be mandatory for you to tell him if you did. It's like when you get in a relationship with someone you don't expect them to come up and be like "yo so I slept with ___ and ___ and ___ etc." Now if you straight up ask him and he lies about it, that's pretty bad. Either way you should go get tested. If he was telling the truth and only kissed someone I'm pretty sure if anything you just got a uti, which sucks but is not uncommon.
But seriously, disgusted by him and his behaviours yet you still stick with him? Love is a weird thing.
Don't have sex with someone you don't/cannot trust. Your health is at stake here. If he cares about you, he will be honest and responsible...but if he doesn't care he will lie and be unsafe. Not cool.
Get tested, get away from him. Not worth it.
Always always ALWAYS get tested. Even if you are in a monogamous relationship. I get tested for everything once a year. It's a good habit to have and you can get it done during your annual exam.
Stupid fucking question. Bimbo brainless "blog". Keep applying your left brain "analysis" to your love lives let me know how that works out for you after 20 years of pre-programmed "Dr" fuckstain Phil "philosophy". With "brains" like that I could bang any one of you bimbos. Fortunately I wouldn't waste my sperm.