Friday, 30 November 2012

• The Online Dating Profile Translator

  
  Are you using an online dating site to search for your next date?  There are many dating profiles out in cyberspace.  You may begin to notice that a number of the same expressions appear in profile after profile.  What potential messages could the use of any of these expressions send to you about the person or people who use them?

  The following is a guide to translating some of the most commonly-used expressions found in dating profiles.  

  • They say:  “I’ve been told that I am ________.”
  • They mean:  “I believe that I am ________, but I’ll just say that other people see this quality in me so I can appear modest.”

  • They say:  “I’m fun loving”/”I love to laugh”
  • They mean:  “I’m too lazy to write something more specific or embarrassed of my specific interests.” OR “I’m not creative enough to think of something better to make me stand out.”

  • They say:  “I am sarcastic”
  • They mean:  “I may use ‘I am sarcastic’ as an excuse to say otherwise-hurtful things to you, and I expect you not to be offended by what I say.” OR “If I insult you, I love you.”

  • They say:  “I am confident.”
  • They mean:  “Most people who know me find me arrogant.”

  • They say:  “I’m tired of playing games.” 
  • They mean:  “I tend to attract people who have a general disrespect for others” (sometimes, the “type” of person one “usually” attracts makes a statement or two about the person him/herself.)

  • They say:  “I love to take pictures.”
  • They mean:  “[If the person is not referring to professional photography] Expect me to take a lot of pictures with my digital camera or phone on all of our dates and immediately upload them to Facebook because I feel the need to show off how much fun I’m having to everybody I know.” OR “[If the person is referring to professional photography] Photography is one of my hobbies.  Ask me about it.”

  • They say:  “I’m looking for a partner who will make me his/her first priority.”
  • They mean:  “I expect my partner to do exactly as I say, even if I ask him/her to push everyone and everything out of the way for me.  I’m #1 in my own life, so why shouldn’t I be #1 in yours?”

  • They say:  “I need a change from looking for love in bars.”
  • They mean:  “I have a lot of time to sit around in bars and hit on people.  I haven’t made much of an effort to find a relationship elsewhere.”

  • They say:  “I have an expensive taste.”
  • They mean:  “I have a high-paying job and can afford expensive things on my own.” OR “I do not make that much money, but I still spend what little money I have on expensive things.  I expect you to spend a lot of money on me when we start dating!”

  • They say:  “My exes were all terrible people!”
  • They mean:  “I do not hold myself accountable for the failure of my previous relationships.  When you and I date and break up, you will be added to the list of ‘terrible’ exes, regardless of whether or not I am at fault for anything going wrong in our relationship.”

  • They say:  “A friend signed me up for this dating website/I was pressured by a friend to sign up for this website.”
  • They mean:  “It was actually my choice to continue using the website after my friend suggested that I sign up, but I think online dating is only for people who cannot find dates in the outside world.  If I make it seem as if somebody else pressured me into doing this, maybe I will appear less desperate.”

  In your experience, what are some other commonly-used expressions that you see on dating websites - or even social networking websites! - and how would you translate these expressions?
  
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