Well, I think it's safe to say that yesterday's date was the worst date I've ever been on in my life! This was the first date I've gone on in nearly two years, but this served as an excellent reminder of why I don't date
, and it carried a rather expensive lesson.
On Monday one of my old coworkers ran into me. Truth be told I was surprised she even recognized who I was as we hadn't seen each other in almost a year. We only ever ran into each other once, as we just happened to be laying over in the same airport, and we grabbed some lunch. Though we hadn't seen each other since then she immediately recognized me despite not being in my flight uniform, having a different hairstyle, etc.
We struck up a friendly conversation, she invited me on a date, and I accepted her invitation. She had to fly out the next morning and was going to be gone until Friday afternoon, so we agreed on Saturday. Why I agreed to even go on this date, I don't know, and it was probably stupid of me, but oh well. I figured I'd just treat it as a friendly type of thing and nothing serious as I have no desire to be in a monogamous relationship. No harm, no foul.
So when my date got home from her trip on Friday she called me with what she decided was a great idea for something to do, an amusement park then dinner. I'm not one for amusement parks (I refuse to board a roller coaster or any other thrill ride for that matter) though I don't mind them as they usually have other nice attractions and most of them are pet-friendly, so I agreed to that. In turn, I selected our dinner location: a rather upscale restaurant that I go to occasionally. We agreed she'd pay for park admission, and I'd cover dinner with the exception of her alcoholic beverages because I no longer drink and refuse to support someone else in doing so.Things began to go sour from the beginning.
When she got to my house I introduced her to Zephyrus (my Doberman Pinscher) and we all walked out and loaded up in my car. She was aghast that I'd even think of bringing my dog along with me. "You mean he's coming along?" she asked. I replied with, "Yes, I have to have someone to keep me company while you're riding all those rides!" Sorry, you don't get me without my dog, we're attached at the hip (hell, he even accompanies me to work). She reluctantly agreed and it was off to the amusement park.
The entire time at the amusement park didn't feel much like a date, admittedly. With Zeph and I standing idly by as she rode every one of the rides, it felt more like a walk in the park with my dog than a date! We didn't have much chatter between rides because it was always off one ride and onto the next, and when I suggested checking out some of the non-ride attractions so we could at least do something together she pooh-poohed the suggestions.
I felt very left out, really, and I was reminded of why I insisted that the dog come along with me. At least I had some company!
Well, at 2 PM we had been at the park for three hours when my phone sounded a reminder that I had a funeral to go to at 3. I had totally forgotten about it! I was hired to pipe at this funeral more than a week in advance and I totally forgot about it. Good thing I had it programmed into my phone or I'd have been a no-show! I wasn't having any fun anyway, so I had no qualms telling my date that I had a funeral to go to and that I needed to bail. She was pissed, but oh well, I didn't much care at that point.
I told her I'd be by to pick her up from the amusement park in enough time before our dinner reservation time. So I left her there, went home to get ready for the funeral and headed out to the cemetery. I just barely made it in time to tune up before the crowd got there and had not a second to spare.
So after the funeral I went back home to decompress for a bit, and boy did I need some time alone with my puppy. Even though he doesn't understand human speak, I confided in my puppy and apologized for putting him through what he had to go through today, and vented to him about the whole thing and how I was so not looking forward to dinner. At 7:15 PM I left the house again (this time without the dog, but only because the restaurant doesn't allow pets) to go pick her up and take her to dinner.
When we got to the restaurant I tried asking her how her time at the park was, but she wouldn't speak of it. Instead she went off on this tirade about how ugly and disgusting my dog was (referring to him as the most disgusting creature she'd ever seen), and then went off for bailing on me and bitching about whatever.
The entire meal was just her chewing me out while she drank on the two bottles of wine she ordered for herself.
I didn't say anything back because I didn't want to cause a scene, so I just tuned her out while I texted/IMed friends on my phone. When our food came out I didn't even make much eye contact with her, didn't say a word, just ate. Good thing I didn't look up much because this broad had the table manners of a 3-year-old.
I think I would have gotten sick watching her eat for any length of time.
When I finished eating I promptly asked for our checks, cashed out and we left. Truth be told, if I hadn't agreed to drive her drunk ass home (she had a bottle and a half of her wine during the time we were there, which was less than an hour!) I'd have gotten up and walked out before we even ordered our food. It was THAT bad.
I was at least hoping to get some sex out of the whole thing, but by the end of our dinner date I didn't even want that. She had tried my patience to the point I just wanted to take her home, leave her there, and never see her sorry face again, so that's precisely what I did.
By the time all was said and done, it was just an expensive reminder of why I don't date. My piper's fee from the funeral was almost exactly enough to pay for our appetizer and entrees, so luckily I didn't really lose anything on the day. Without a doubt the most expensive date I've ever been on, and it turns out to also be the worst. Just my luck, eh?
My only hope is that 10 years from now I'll look back on this whole fiasco and laugh. With that, I do solemnly swear that this will be the last date I ever go on in my life. No more of this bullshit. I've had it.What do you make of this catastrophe? Have you ever had someone insult your beloved furry friend on a first date? Have you ever had a date go so badly that it (nearly) ruined dating for you forever?image source