Tuesday, 27 November 2012
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Reality Check on Courtship
As he thinks this, about her not knowing him well and giving him a chance, has he even fathomed the thought of whether he actually knows himself well? On the flip-side, does he know anything about her besides his attraction for her? Is there something wrong with him? Is there something wrong with her? Not enough may be told here, but what has happened is simple; a guy is rejected by a girl and he is not completely accepting of this.
"I'm sorry, you're just not my type," she says to him. She walks off, while he stands there disturbed, slightly frustrated by her rejection of him. "You don't know me that well, so why don't you give me a chance?" he thinks to himself."Why'd you have to be like that huh?" he continues thinking still perturbed by the situation. "I know if you gave me a chance, we would... we would..."
It is funny how some people tend not to be understanding in such cases. She may have her guard up, maybe she is narrow-minded, she may just dislike him or may have no interest in him to begin with, or maybe she sees him as just a friend, etc. No matter what her case may be, it all points to her rejecting him. In essence, there is no love here. This is just to a degree, his obsession towards her, whether it is him willing her to be his or be understanding of him, or in turn, him over-analyzing why she does not accept him or understand him.
"What would we do?" He starts to calm down and rationalizes things out. "Why would you wanna give me a chance? It's obvious that you're not interested in me that way or you would have accepted in the first place." He takes in a deep breath.
By accepting the realization that this is not meant to be, he may be better off at least next time or with the next person he may later on meet. He can take this experience to realize how he can improve himself or his approach to allow someone to know him or to want to know him better so that some sort of connection may develop. Maybe this may help him better connect with someone that is befitting to who he is, rather than finding himself trying to satisfy an obsession that leads only to destructive behaviors and ideals.He turns around and walks away from her...
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Hope you all enjoyed this piece. This was something I had written over a year back like the other post I submitted about a week or two earlier. The question to pose here is, have you felt a sudden realization in regards to your views on courtship or do you feel someone you know should come to a realization concerning courtship?
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About the Author
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- From: tictact0e0@xanga
- About Me: Sounds of pitter patter outside my window drown away the thoughts on my mind. + This precipitative cleansing is only a calm, brief, fire relaxant before the incoming flame. + Will I endure the arrival of the inferno, aiming to disintegrate the foundation I defined? + This downpour will turn to drizzle as I confront this fiery dilemna I can only attempt to tame. +
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Comments (12)
Yes to both questions at the end. I can be interested in the psychology behind someone's views on courtship and think they need to realize something while recognizing that one can't force them to recognize it.
"By accepting the realization that this is not meant to be, he may be better off at least next time or with the next person he may later on meet."
As I recently pointed out to bloggicus:
"What you're attempting to argue is the beneficiality of learned helplessness and that is a fundamentally flawed argument when the circumstances are not environmental or inevitable but are in-fact another person's unethical, dynamic, and changeable decisions."
I'm an optimalist, and as such I see right through the bullshit of taking failure/rejection as some kind of learning experience or as it being somehow necessary to personal growth because I have no obsessive need to believe failure is anything but just that. I don't need to convince myself it is somehow a good thing. Failure can be used and experience salvaged from it but that is not an optimal scenario nor is failure or rejection necessary or beneficial in the least when compared to success/acceptance which by far exceeds anything relatively 'positive' that comes from failure/rejection.
From a recent entry of mine titled "POF":
"You've gotta experience not getting what you want in order to know what you really want."
That's only true if you end up finding out that what you really want is, in-fact, something else. That shouldn't happen more often than getting what you want right in the first place.
Flawed-ass ideology. A result of holding an absolute standard to an indirect correlation between experience and maturity, projecting onto others one's own tendency toward profit-seeking... not reward-seeking."
[e.g. "On the flip-side, does he know anything about her besides his attraction for her?"]
"This is the very foundation for outdated tradition and ridiculous religious practices which leads many to elitist beliefs, asserting that they are more experienced than others because they've experienced more failure. Unless we plan on living in a failure-filled environment, your so-called 'experience' is unnecessarily bullshit-ridden."
That is all.
@T3hZ10n@xanga - freddy kreuger will chase you in your dreams and snap all of your ribs. even imaginary villains have more ambition than everyday humans. being a fangirl/boy from afar is okay. better to be a silent stalker than roaming ho. as weird are you are, I'm glad you aren't slutty. cue the cheerleaders.
@P0RCELA1N_D0LL@xanga - I'm not the least bit weird IRL. Well, I can be, but the thing is I'm always fully aware of how I appear and it's more of a cute/funny 'weird' and not at all 'creepy weird'. People on Xanga and Datingish have this fetish for blowing things out of proportion to a person's true overall character because they crave drama. My personality is incomprehensibly dynamic and I don't really have a persona. There were definitely times when people got annoying with their exaggerated judgments to the point where it definitely seemed like they wanted me to be some kind of creepy/obsessive stalker type and became increasingly disappointed/disinterested as they found out I'm actually just a pissed off hopeless romantic.
@T3hZ10n@xanga - freddy kreuger isn't actually weird either. he has bad skin/horrible teeth, and it isn't his fault he has steak knives as fingers. he was outcast as a creep, so he had no other choice but to chase people for a living. he's one sad and cursed soul, who is a misunderstood emo boy underneath it all.
I can't be creepy even if I tried. IRL I'm often the cute innocent deer lost in headlights
Aside from that, I'm in my settling down stage of life and have a gf.
I've come to realizations of myself from time to time, but you know it's always easier to see others faults than your own. So I've definitely seen people who need to learn from their mistakes and sometimes tried to help.
I've never thought about things that deeply. If I meet someone I was interested in and they didn't return my interest, it was never a big deal. I think I am just too laid back to try to convince someone that they should be interested in me.