Tuesday, 27 November 2012
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Speed Dating Tips
Tired of the world of online dating sites and want to have an opportunity to meet some new people face to face? Give speed dating a try!At most speed dating events, a group of about the same number of men and women all meet at the same venue. At the beginning of the event, one set of participants (either the males or the females) sits at a table, and a member of the other set sits at each table. Each table therefore consists of one man and one woman talking for a set period of time. After the period of time has ended, the other set of participants rotates to the next table until each person has conversed with each member of the opposite sex present.
Meanwhile, after each conversation takes place, participants use a special scorecard to mark whether or not they would be interested in further pursuing each participant with whom they have spoken. The scorecard consists of either the names or the assigned numbers of each opposite-sex participant. Next to each name/assigned number is a box which is to be checked either “yes” for “I am interested in this person” or “no” for “I am not interested in this person” after the conversation with each person has ended.
At the end of the event, the hosts will collect everybody’s scorecard. If the hosts find that two people checked “yes” for one another, the host later emails both people and gives them the contact information of the other person so that they may further contact one another, if they desire.
Speed dating events are held daily all around the country, so there is a large chance that such an event will be held close to where you live very soon. Are you interested in trying out speed dating for yourself? Here are some tips to consider before you attend a speed dating event:
1) Relax! Yes, you are at an event in which you will meet and talk to a lot of strangers, but don’t be nervous. Remember: everybody else is in the same boat as you are. There is no pressure for you to find your future husband or wife in that room, and do not think that your success in finding somebody to date at this event is indicative of how desirable you are as a person.
2) Dress in an outfit that makes you feel confident, but also try to make your outfit reflect your personal style. Much of speed dating is dependent upon first impressions, since you are only conversing with each person for a very limited amount of time. Not only do you want to make a good first impression, but you also want to give people an idea of who you are. Don’t wear a fancy dress if you hate wearing dresses. Don’t wear tight, revealing clothing if you normally enjoy wearing baggy sweaters. Don’t put on a Dracula costume unless you regularly dress up as Dracula and chase children down the street. Put your best foot forward by wearing something that makes you feel confident and shows off your own style.
3) Don’t lie about who you are. Again, you want to make sure that your potential dates will see you for who you are. If you want to eventually have a long-lasting relationship, starting that relationship off with a lie is never a good idea. If you eventually end up in a relationship with a person you meet from speed dating, that person will eventually find out that you have been lying.
4) Engage in a conversation with each person. You may feel that coming to a speed dating event with a set list of questions is a good idea. Each person looks for slightly different qualities in a partner, and you want to know if each person at the speed dating event possesses those qualities. Good! The only problem is that you are only talking to each person for about ten minutes, maximum, so know that you will not have time to ask all the questions you want to ask.Instead of coming to the event with a set list of questions that you plan to ask every person, try to engage in a conversation with each person. Ask a question or two, but use your partner’s answers to these questions to start a conversation. Did your partner say that he or she enjoys spending time in California? Maybe you like to travel there frequently, too! Talk about California. Does your partner like dogs? You have a dog, and you love dogs! Talk about dogs.
Remember that each person at a speed dating event will have multiple conversations with multiple people, and you may be asked the same candid questions over and over again (“Where are you from?”, “What do you do for fun?”, “Where did you go to college?”) Having an engaging conversation with somebody breaks up the monotony of answering the same candid questions over and over again and will hopefully help you to stand out to each person present.
5) If you are matched with somebody and are interested in seeing that person again, contact that personally gradually. Great! You have a match! Now what? You do not want to feel awkward, but you do want to talk to that person again. Do not bombard the person’s phone with messages; rather, exchange a couple of emails with that person and then set up a date and see where things go. Who knows? You may have a long-term relationship in the works!
If you are interested in giving speed dating a try, check out this website to find upcoming speed dating events in your area. If you are interested in speed dating events specifically for the LGBT community, click here.
What do you think about the speed dating “process”? Have you ever tried speed dating? What did you like and/or not like about it?
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- From: iamnotyourgrandma
- Name: iamnotyourgrandma
- About Me: I'm 24 years old, and, as my username implies, there is a 100% chance that I am not, in fact, your grandma. I enjoy discussions about relationship ideologies and examining how a person's background/upbringing affects his/her views about how relationships work. Feel free to leave me a comment or subscribe to my site!
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Comments (20)
too contrived. it'll feel like an interview to me no matter how much they say to relax. it seems rude to narrow down a person to a number that you check off your list. or they'll wear a name tag, but wearing a name tag still feels like a pet tag. although first impressions is often what some people go by, it would be sad to write someone off based on a first impression gone wrong because they were nervous or whatever, and otherwise might have been a cool person to hang out with and get to know if given some more time. I can't do speed dating. when I think of speed dating, I'm picturing a boat of donkeys from the pinocchio movie. that's my first impression of that
it may or may not be true. to each their own.
I really want to try speed dating, but I'm just too much of a wuss right now haha might have to make it a new years resolution for next year! I need to be less fragile, I'm scared of going and no-one liking me :( haha
The concept intrigues me and I'm willing to try anything at least once.
Bring a coloring book
hahaha. i started writing an entry about this like 2 months ago and have yet to finish it. life somehow gets in the way of life, doesn't it. you've given me the motivation to finish it though! maybe if i get my apartment cleaned in a timely manner (not bloody likely).
anyway--i've done speed dating twice now. the first time i had a good experience with the daters but a bad experience with the company running it. i was going to write an angry review on yelp, but they suddenly invited me to go back for free...i guess they needed more guys to get an even ratio at their next event. they've since invited me a handful of times but i've never been able to go. the second time, i cared less about the company sucking because i was doing it for free. i was a little apprehensive the first time but i actually had a lot of fun. i *very* highly recommend everyone try it. i met 5 great ladies, including one goooorgeous 36 yo puma. (i qualify her as a puma and not a cougar cause she wasn't quite old enough to qualify as a cougar according to my formula.)
@isitreal_no@xanga - so, i was kind of intrigued by your comment and wrote a quick program in java to figure out what the probability is that you get a match. assuming there are 20 people of each gender and you get to choose 5 (this is how mine operated), i came up with an 80.6% chance of at least one match. i made a slight shortcut but i don't think it will have a significant effect on the result (if any at all). in practice, i think the actual probability of match will be higher for most people, because you don't choose randomly, but the people with whom you thought you had some connection.
i got a total math boner doing that, by the way. god, i fucking love math
in any case, i think you should be less afraid of not having a match--it's not the end of the world, rejection is a fact of life :) i was afraid of that my first time too, but i think as long as you're reasonably well-dressed (i disagree with the op on this matter; perhaps a new york bias on my part though) and aren't a completely rude motherfucker, you should be fine. to put this in perspective, my 2nd time i got 4 matches; the probability of getting 4 or 5 matches is 0.5%. have more faith in yourself! and if all else fails, take some shots before you go--i met a few girls who had done that, hahaha.
gd it, how the f did that comment end up so long?? jesus.
@TheNotoriousGOD@xanga - See I had considered having a drink or two before I go but didn't want to be too chatty, because I'm already quite chatty haha The particular one that I want to go to has free champagne, now I realise that's probably to loosen people up so it's more successful which makes the organisation look more successful. Tricky tricky! I'm aware that rejection is a fact of life, I just don't like it and never will haha I do want to do speed dating though so I'll just have to deal with it!
On a different note, you have a formula to determine a puma vs a cougar?! That is one of the randomest things I've ever heard.
@isitreal_no@xanga - oh, if you're already chatty then what are you worried about?? i assumed you were quiet when you said you were nervous, lol. talkative people do fine, it's the quiet/shy ones who don't do well (or at least, so i would think). but there is probably also a selection bias--i'd imagine they're less likely to sign up in the first place. why turn down free drinks though? hahaha. think about it this way: most people go out for drinks on a first date anyway (though i personally prefer not to), so you're not really doing anything different, right?
the "formula" was something that my friend came up with the first time he hooked up with a cougar. she was 41 and he was 21 at that time. i just modified it to distinguish between the slightly younger cougars (pumas) and the real cougars. we have a lot of other classification tools for them too, lol.
Good post. this is something a little different.
I wanted to do this just to see what it was like. I never viewed it as a real option for meeting people. The only thing you can determine in that short of a period of time is whether or not a person is good looking and what they
wantyou to know about them.
@Erika_Steele@xanga - That's so true, I hadn't thought about it that way.
@TheNotoriousGOD@xanga - I'm just scared of rejection, at this time my self-esteem is probably too fragile for any dating let alone speed dating haha but I'm working it :)
@Erika_Steele@xanga - but how is that any different from meeting anyone, anywhere? online dating is the same, meeting someone while grocery shopping is the same, meeting someone at the club is the same. even all of your friends started out as people you didn't know. obviously nobody's looking to get married after a speed date--it's just a way to meet new people. the idea is that if you hit it off, you get coffee (or whatever), thereby having the chance to meet someone you never otherwise would have met.
@isitreal_no@xanga - ah okay, yeah you definitely want to go in with a positive mindset, or you won't come across as someone that people want to spend time with :)
No way. I'm anxious enough meeting one guy that I've never met before! Throw in about 14 more & you'll have me hiding behind a huge drink at the bar, nervously glaring at anyone who looks my way. I used to be more social, but the 20's has found me not liking people much.
@TheNotoriousGOD@xanga - it's not any different. I meet my husband on-line so I am not knocking it. I've never been to one; it just seems like the number of pretentious people would be high, especially where I live. If I lived in an actual city or a state that wasn't Alabama, speed dating would have been an option.
@Erika_Steele@xanga - oh okay, i've never been to alabama so i can't speak for it. the closest i've ever gotten was meeting a 55 yo woman from birmingham at atl. (the airport, not the city.) she told me i "speak english real good" and then told me "you're real pretty".
are you a tide?
@TheNotoriousGOD@xanga - Definitely a Tide fan. I'll be getting my PhD from there. I am dying b/c I know she said anglish instead of English and purdy instead of pretty.
@Erika_Steele@xanga - will be getting as in...already working on it, or starting soon?
did you watch the cardinal-ducks game? i'm a cardinal myself, but at the alumni association's game watch there were all these alabama people there. it was kind of funny. they went almost as crazy as i did when we won. i got super trashed during the first half of the game and hugged everyone in the bar before leaving, hahaha.
@TheNotoriousGOD@xanga - I'll have it in May. Then I will get paid to do the same job I do now. I didn't see the game.
speed dating sucks. don't go.
I have never been on date, or tried speed dating and on the dating front internet dating.
I think it be kind of scary.