Thursday, 15 November 2012
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Would You Consider This a Date?
The janitor at school asked me to have a drink with him.Before you say anything, the janitor is actually my age. He is funny, too. And he looks exactly like Justin Long! In fact, when I first saw him, that's what I told him. I'm at a state university right now and I'm doing studio art so he's a janitor on my floor where I have my night classes, in the art building. He wears his black fedora when he does his work. So funny and personable.
We have kind of been talking on and off since school started basically. It was just this Tuesday when he asked me out. At least I think it's a date? He asked me my age, and I told him how I just turned 21 last Thursday. He said he will be 22 in May and that we should go drinking sometime. And then he asked for my number and asked if I was free Saturday night.
I was already thinking I could invite some friends of mine with me and we could all go together. It wasn't until he started texting me that same night that I got it into my mind that it was a date. When he texted me he told me that I didn't have to dress fancy if I wanted to and that he would pick me up. That kind of made me panic; is this a date? I even asked him. He said he'd prefer it to be just hanging out as friends yet now I feel like I shouldn't invite friends anymore since he's treating it like a date.
At least that's how I thought he was treating it from his text. Another friend told me that it was in fact a date, since he asked for me to go out for drinks and that he is just trying not to make me worry about the situation by saying we are just "hanging out."I'm not sure now. I can tell we have chemistry which is nice, and I do like him. I just never thought of him that way. I also didn't expect him to be so direct in asking me out. I'm so curious as to the reason why he isn't at school, and why he is a janitor. He seems just as intelligent as a student here at school would be. I'm not going to psyche myself out with this one, I'm just gonna let it flow and see what happens Saturday I guess!
Also... is it strange I'm going out with a janitor? Be honest. Thanks!
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About the Author
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- From: schiiism@xanga
- Name: schiiism
- About Me: sophomore at hspva for art.
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Comments (74)
No stranger than going out with a doctor.
Maybe he's attending school somewhere else and he's working as a janitor as a part time job. At least that's what some guy I know is doing.
You can call it a date if you want to, but nowadays most people treat
"dates" like regular hanging out with very little to no romantic interest.
Sounds like he isn't really sure himself what he wants from you, and is just testing the water and getting to know you to see if anything else can happen. It can be frustrating, but I wouldn't fret over your status too much, considering he is a janitor...The qualifications are not that high and attracts mostly high school dropouts. I don't know if he had other disabilities that would prevent him from going to school or getting a better job with the little information you give, but it just sounds he lacks serious ambition and is a loser. You should ask him about it on Saturday, but personally I think you can do better.
Just go with him and see what happens.
Have you seen "Good Will Hunting"? Don't judge your date by their job when you're in your 20s in this economy. School is expensive and jobs are hard to come by these days, particularly in the pre/no-college market. If he's kind and fun and good to talk to, that should be enough!
And don't worry about whether it's a date too much. Kind of sounds like you think he wants to hang out alone, so nothing wrong with that. He just wants to spend time with you and get to know you, which I think is a pretty good way to get things started, no matter what you call it.
1. What's wrong with janitors?
2. Stop obsessing over labels. Who gives a shit if it's a "date" or not? Just have a good time and get to know the guy better.@QuantumStorm@xanga - You and I think a lot alike... but I tend to be more extreme. Many times when I go to comment, I see you summed up what I was going to say well enough that I don't feel I have to comment.
Well said about labels.
Compartmentalizing many aspects of life is a double-edged sword that can be used for convenience, but also tends to turn into selfish prejudice without realizing it (e.g. dating doesn't sound at all bad, neither do janitors, but put the two together and 'dating a janitor' and you have an immediate prejudice/averse reaction, hence an article asking others whether this is a date or not).
Who cares if he's a janitor? Quit obsessing over labels and occupations and have a good time.
no it is not strange what his job is.atleast he has a job.i just dont think that any "date" should be asked by having drinks.just my opinion but it just says where he wants it to lead if he wants to get to no you better he wouldve asked to dinner or lunch etc
i think it depends why he decided to take up on that job. did he took the job because he got fired from every other job?? or he took the job cuz he has more than one job and the janitor job was just to help pay bills?
When I grew up the father of one of my best friends was a janitor at my high school. He was a great guy and janitors need to know how to do all kinds of practical things from carpentry to plumbing.
When I was in college a friend and I woke up at 4 in the morning and drove to 5 Friendly's restaurants all over Suffolk County, Long Island to clean the floors, bathrooms, etc. I did that for two semesters. I loaded and unloaded trucks on a shipping dock for another two semesters. Those jobs helped me through college. College was less expensive then.
You never know. Find out his dreams and see how much they match up with yours. Let him find out how much yours match up with his.
Why don't you just ask him instead of getting yourself all worked up wondering? That sounds better than asking strangers that do not even know him.
About the janitor thing, for me, as long as he wasn't going to pursue this as a long term dream job, who cares!
But it is a job and right now there are few. Give him a break there, janitors are needed too! Need love too. =)
Date or not, I wouldn't worry about taking the first time you spend time together outside of the university walls too seriously. If it is the first time you are hanging out, it should be relatively care free!
I also wouldn't worry about him being a janitor as if that has much meaning- after spending time with him you'll know if you have much in common or not regardless of his profession.
yes, it's a date and it sounds like it could be a lot of fun.
who the fuck blows a saturday night with someone they don't know? that's ridiculous.
Good Will Hunting? (smiles)
What others said, his job shouldn't matter. The fact he has a job is better than a lot of people and even then having a job or not having one doesn't dictate whether someone is a good person or not. Also it's not a date unless you both agree it's a date. You can figure that out once you're out on it. If you want to invite friends ask if you can. Otherwise just enjoy getting to know someone new.
Ever seen Good Will Hunting? lol
Being a janitor doesn't really change his worth as a person. I don't know if that was the point of the post, or if it was just general is-this-a-date-or-not nerves. I would go and see if you like him. As a friend or otherwise.
Also, funny coincidence - my husband is thinking about trying to get a job as a custodian. After he graduates with his PhD in physics (we joke it'll be like a reverse Good Will Hunting). Also, his celebrity doppelganger is Justin Long.
As long as you biuld on that interest, it is a date so kudos to you! And who cares if he's a janitor. You like him and there's chemistry, and that's what counts
@nepenthium@xanga - "The qualifications are not that high and attracts mostly high school dropouts. I don't know if he had other disabilities that would prevent him from going to school or getting a better job with the little information you give, but it just sounds he lacks serious ambition and is a loser. "
Comments like this bug me. The same could be said for my job and I graduated from one of the top universities in my country. In case you hadn't noticed, the job market sucks. I'm actually applying for teacher training right now, but no, to judge from my job I'm a loser with no ambition. Anyway, I'd rather someone worked as a janitor than sat on their backside claiming welfare. And who said it was permanent? Or full-time? He might be studying, working a side-job to earn some money to move out or to pay rent, anything. Way to judge :/
it would be interesting if he dressed up in a suit at the date, so it is like he's leading a double life of being a janitor but maybe he's actually rich, but doesn't want people to date him due to his money, so you're on candid camera
@daydreams_nightmares@xanga - yes my comment is a bit presumptuous of his situation. But if he is in school, why not get one of the many campus jobs/work study positions available? If his college is small, he can work in retail, or be a busboy/waiter. Anything but a job like janitorial work that's reserved for people with pretty much zero qualification. The janitors I see are usually immigrants who came here too old to obtain work experience, with limited English skills or middle age high school dropouts, ex convicts, etc. Not young 20 somethings with the rest of his life and opportunities ahead of him. It may not be permanent but wasting even a second of your life
doing a demeaning and meaningless job is just slightly more respectable
not working at all. Granted, I don't know if he has disabilities that can prevent him from doing other things, but I assume if he is healthy and mentally stable enough to be asking the OP out, then he should have the ability to look for a better job. The job market isn't the best it could be, but I don't really think that's a good excuse to settle for a minimum wage job. Unless you're a high school dropout or failed college, getting a good job isn't impossible, you just have to try harder and network more.
You are WAY over thinking this. He asked you out for drinks. Stop analyzing it and GO. Have fun. Good grief its not like you are marrying the guy.
And about the janitor job.. Again, you are over thinking it. At least he has a job!