I am going to start this off by saying...you may want to grab some coffee for this one. I have a BFF problem and I am in need of an outsider's opinion.
"Blank" and I have been friends for the last 10 years. We are really close so yes, there are times that we do not exactly see eye to eye.
I know this is going to sound trivial but I must get this off my chest. As you all know, election day just passed and we got into a tense debate over our different political views. (Which is why I tend to shy away from conversations about political views as well as religion.) Later that night I got on Facebook and saw that she deleted me from her friends list.
Yes, I know. It's Only Facebook, but to me, it was more about the principle. We have been through so much together that I would NEVER Imagine her deleting me over something so trivial.
My question is, am I overreacting?
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Comments (24)
might wanna ask her if she actually deleted you before taking it too personally.
there has been many times when I realized a friend i had on facebook wasnt connected to me anymore- and after sending a re-friend request they immediately friended me. whether they actually deleted me or something messed up in faceboo,k idk. but it did happen to me and my best friend. we both accused each other of defriending the other one- turns out neither one of us did.I had made a similar post to this about being defriended over my political views, but the people who defriended me weren't people I hung out with or talked to anyway. In the past, when I've had some friends piss me off for other reasons, not political views because they were treating me like shit, I deleted them. After a while of not talking to them, they finally realized they messed up, we re-friended each other and that was that. You should sit down and talk with her about the defriending and the political views, etc. If she was someone you were friends with for so long, no I wouldn't say you're overreacting, especially if this is someone you actually talk to and hang out with in real life.
Facebook is a cheap shot at ending a friendship and ending other things.
maybe she is sick of seeing your political updates or seeing your profile pic with your other updates even unrelated to politics pisses her off because she's reminded of your tense debate, thus she deleted you for her own sanity's sake
maybe you can still talk on the phone and let facebook as it is; defriended. you're still friends in real life right?:O
Sometimes, you just have to agree to disagree. Too bad she didn't recognize this, because NOW she has a much stickier problem at hand than who to vote for for President.
Very sad.
Christy
I don't think you're over reacting at all. I would be very annoyed if someone deleted me off Facebook merely because of my political views, even if that person was someone I met online briefly. For a close friend I'd known for 10 years?
I'd be pissed. Sounds like you're better off, though, if she's going to behave like that.
she's a psycho
I'd be upset too. Two of my friends recently got into a similar situation over abortion and one ended up deleting the other. I think you either have to agree to disagree and realise that your friendship is more important that contradicting beliefs, or (unfortunately) realise that there's too much water under the bridge for you to maintain a friendship. Send her a message and talk to her, if she doesn't reply or gets defensive, maybe you're better off without her.
I would resend a friend request or maybe text/call her & be like "hey, I noticed I was deleted from your facebook & was wondering if the site screwed up or if I offended you and you deleted me?" A lot of girls will delete you on facebook after being offended for some reason or another, because it makes a cold-shouldered statement without actually having to address the issue. I know this because I used to be one of those girls.. Anyway, I would ask her about it because if she's anything like I was, ignoring her & the issue will only reinforce her negative opinion of you at the moment & will make her think she made the right decision. Or you could tell her to go screw herself if she can't handle the fact that you had a difference in opinion, because if you can't agree to disagree, the friendship will never last until she grows up.
@P0RCELA1N_D0LL@xanga - If they were friends & she was simply annoyed by the updates, she probably would have selected not to see posts by her friend, instead of deleting her. Deleting makes a statement if it's done to someone you're close to. It means, "I don't want to have any sort of contact with you right now. Screw you."
What I don't understand is this phrase: "We are really close so yes, there are times that we do not exactly see eye to eye."
I think she overreacted not you. If your political views are different why even want to be friends? (kidding) Dunno talk to her, ask her if you're still friends, ask her why she deleted you, and if it's because of the politics tell her she's stupid. The whole point of having different parties and different views is to have diversity and progress. If everyone was exactly the same it wouldn't be much of a democracy and things would never change for good or for bad.
I've deleted people from my FB who I didn't have any personal "beef" with, but because I found their posts offensive, or inappropriate. This could be politics, or the nearly nude male pics another posted, or the nasty comments of another about fans of a certain football team...etc. It goes on and on.
I still like those people, but I needed their junky junk off my page and the contraversy out of my life.
The fur flying surrounding the recent elections caused a LOT of tension on FB, I was tempted to delete a few, because I was SO tired of it all.
If you are close with this person, then she was completely out of line! Period. To the people who say she unfriended you because of possible updates, she could unsubscribe instead or get a life and stop spending so much time on the social networking site. It sounds like your friendship is pretty trivial to her. I would be careful about how I carry the relationship forward, and I would definitely expect some sort of acknowledgment that she made a mistake before resuming things. If she tries to continue without bringing this incident up, call her out on it. It's simply not okay! It's infantile, and regardless of how ashamed she may feel to have reacted in that way, she still needs to apologize in my opinion.
You let your friends disrespect you and things will just go downhill with them!
@ccccourage@xanga - THIS! I've done this many times, but that automatically means I don't want to be friends with someone anymore according to most people. When did facebook become the ultimate sign of friendship? I've lost a lot of what I thought at the time were good friendships over this.
Oh dear. Your bff deleted you from FB. This reminds me of that BK publicity stunt that asked FB users to delete 10 friends to receive a free whopper. Upon receiving said whoppers, said deleted friends would receive messages that their friendships were less valuable than said whopper.
I think you should not take FB so seriously and talk to your friend. FB does not validate friendships.
Are you sure:
1. That she did, indeed, defriend you. (Facebook glitches, someone else getting onto her account, someone getting onto your account and deleting her.)
2. That it was over politics.
3. That politics was the only thing it could have been over (that politics wasn't merely the 'last straw').
There are definitely beliefs people have that I don't want in my life. Period. I don't have many friends. I don't wonder why. I've lost friends over my beliefs, and I'm phasing some out because I'm absolutely disgusted with the way they're living their lives.
@MyBurningSky@xanga - Well I wouldn't want to talk to someone in real life who deleted and blocked me on facebook. A "friend" did that to me, too and the next time I see him which I know I'm gonna see him soon, I'm gonna ignore him. If I can't have someone's time of day online then they're not worthy in person. It's different if it's family. I don't want my family seeing what I write on my page and I hide them from my vulgar posts.
@xinq@xanga - I don't block people unless I don't want any contact at all. The majority of people I deleted didn't even talk to me through facebook. We texted or just showed up at each other's house. I just feel it's pointless for me to be friends with someone online if I don't ever talk to them online, never visit their page, and if everything they post irritates me to no end. The only other time I deleted someone was when I didn't want them to update me about their life through facebook, but I usually talk to them about that first before I delete them.
She's the one who overreacted...i completely refuse to have political and religious conversations...no one ever really wants to hear your opinion about those things....they just want to convince you that you're wronge and they're right...
I would just straight up ask her what's up, what happened.
@NotesBend@xanga - I Did Ask And She Did Delete Me
Just had this happen to me although it was more of liking a political page, rather.
It really goes to show that people are more divided now than they were 4 years ago.If she deleted you over something that trivial, then she wasn't a very good friend to begin with.