Two summers ago, one of my best friends from college got married, and I was honored to be chosen as one of her bridesmaids. The wedding ceremony was beautiful, and my friend and her husband enjoyed a happy day in the presence of family and friends.
After the ceremony ended, the wedding photographer began photographing the bride and groom in various poses at the front of the wedding chapel. There was one particular, and rather humorous, pose that stood out to me. My friend, who stands at about six feet tall, stood on the bottom step of the chapel, while her husband, who is about six inches shorter than she, stood on the next step up. The purpose of the picture was to exemplify their height difference in a humorous fashion, as, even when her husband stood one step above my friend, he was still slightly shorter than she.
Of course, I, along with all the family members and friends who observed this photo being taken, laughed when they posed for that picture, but when I thought about it, the fact that a lot of people did find that picture humorous brought up an interesting point about dating in our society: it is rare to see a couple consisting of a taller woman and a shorter man.
When I first pondered this, the fact that I have rarely seen a tall woman dating a shorter man made sense; after all, women are shorter than men by nature, so there is a much greater chance of seeing a woman with a taller man. However, there are also a decent number of tall women who tower over a majority of the male population. While my friend had no problems dating, and eventually marrying, a shorter man, I have also met tall women who were very vocal about not dating a shorter man, even if it greatly reduced their dating pool.
As a short woman, I have never taken much time to think about this, since most of the population stands significantly taller than I do. I have also always believed that two people are compatible by their character and not physical differences. Why is a potential partner’s height a deal breaker for some people? Is it really considered that “socially awkward” to be dating a shorter man if you are a woman?
Would you ever date a shorter man/taller woman? Do you have any “deal breakers” when it comes to dating?
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Times were that the man was supposed to be taller than the woman - though has been relegated to olden times..women get to choose..us guys have it all looking up
My theory is that the reason most women still prefer taller men even though a lot of us are feminists and social rules are changing is this:
Women do not want to slow dance (or hug) a man who is eye to eye with their breasts. I had that awkward experience about a decade ago. Never again.
So while I don't mind if the guy is 1 or even 2 inches shorter than me, I do not want to date someone who is significantly shorter than me for that reason. If some other woman doesn't mind, more power to them. But I do mind. (I'm a little under 5'8" btw, so I'm not limiting my dating pool that much.)
this old d-ish article should answer your question with plenty of wonderful statistics to back it up. i just love women and their unabashed superficiality.
Height is one of the only things I can't see myself compromising on. My husband is the shortest man I have ever dated and he is still taller than me unless I wear heels. I used to not wear heels around him, but I have since decided not to let cute shoes go to waste. I'll just have to be taller. I usually go for 6 feet or taller, but I can get over it.
I would be with a shorter man, but I would prefer to be with a taller one. I struggle with feeling masculine (my mindset is more masculine, and I'm very independent - my stature is also not the most petite), so being with a man that is taller than me makes me feel more like a woman. 6'3" is my ideal height for a SO because thats the height he needs to be for me to be able to put my head entirely under his.
I wouldn't eliminate someone because of height but I do find those over 6 ft most attractive. My boyfriend is the tallest I've dated (6'3 swoonnnnnn) but now I find myself noticing even taller guys. Just yesterday at work I carded someone 6'5. If he didn't smoke I probably would've given him a second look.
I'm only 5'3 and this is the only advantage of being short. The shorter you are the taller they are :)
I am 5' 3" and most guys are taller than me. I never really considered it a deal breaker. But I know one girl in particular who is 5' 7" and will NOT date anyone under 6'.
I'm 5'6. I have trouble dating guys shorter than 5'10 (my current boyfriend is 6'2). Some of my reasons for being height-ist:
1. I grew up in a family that consists of men all over 6' (with the two exceptions being around 5'10), so it seemed only natural to me that men should be taller than women.
2. I was significantly heavy for quite some time and being with a man who was taller than me also typically meant that he was around the same weight as I was, allowing me to feel more feminine/less like a bumbling blimp. Even now that I'm no longer heavy, taller men still help me feel delicate, feminine, etc.
3. Most of my heels put me a shade under 6'. Damned if I want to be taller than my date, even if I'm wearing fuck-me heels that are just going to get taken off eventually.
Have I dated men under my height requirement? Of course - the shortest was 5'7, nary an inch taller than I am. In the end, I just prefer tall men.
I'm 5'4" and would never date a guy shorter than me. Throughout high school and a good portion of college I would only date guys who were 6'. I've tried to date guys that aren't that tall though. I dated a guy who was like 5'5" and I've dated a guy who was 6'5". In the end I'm just more attracted to guys who are taller than me.
if we're only compatible by our character, then we might as well just be regular friends. the physical attraction is what sets the person apart from the others as a potential mate. I'm often drawn to 6'+ tall men. their body type is twice my size, not fat but their bone structure is twice my size and muscles just look way better on taller men. I really can't be bothered when I see short men with muscles. they just look stumpy to me. I'd rather date a tall and lean man than a short man with muscles. the long armspans give more comfy and protective hugs than short guys. I just don't find most of them that attractive. sure, some are cute. 5'11" is about right when I wear heels. 5'11"-6'4" is my ideal. jason momoa is the perfect example
@TheNotoriousGOD@xanga - Is it wrong that I only have dated men taller than me? Hell no! Of course, I'm only 5' so I have never even met a guy who was shorter than me. lol
I'm 5'4", so it's not really hard for guys to be taller than me. My husband is 6'1", and I think we're the perfect height difference.
My "little" sister is about 6'1" though, and she says she'll never go out with a guy shorter than her. It'll be interesting to see who she ends up with.
I am one of those taller women, I'm 185cm. So taller than most guys and although I can definitely fancy a shorter guy, if I get physical at all with them it feels awkward, I would never want to bend down to kiss and guy and being taller means I weigh more than your average woman and I don't want to be heavier than a guy I'm seeing, I guess because I've always had body issues I limit myself to guys as tall or taller than me so that I feel ok about myself physically.
I guess if the guy and girl are happy being different then it's cool. Just it's defo not for me!I've never been romantically attracted to a guy that was shorter than I am... but I'm 5'2" on a tall day, so there aren't that many of them to begin with. I can't imagine it being a dealbreaker, though... If I'm attracted to them, I'm not going to refuse to date them based on their height. That's just silly.
@TiredSoVeryTired@xanga - some women do not date shorter man because of the "short man complex" some of these guys have. My grade 8 teacher had a serious complex about his height and he was an obnoxious jerk because of it
Lol i thought i'd never date anybody shorter than me then I found my boyfriend, whose almost 5'3 and i'm 5'4 :P
I stand at five feet, zero inches tall. That said, as years have gone by I find myself more attracted to guys who are on the tall side because they seem stronger and make me feel safe. Also in my experience, they tend to be more masculine and have higher self-esteem (the napoleon complex has seemed to ring true in real life). My boyfriend right now is 6'2" and I think he's amazingly attractive and we have a good time together, in all ways (; I really like his height and he is very strong and pretty well built, muscular. Whenever I'm out with him, I feel like he's my own personal bodyguard, and that's so hot.
I don't what no midget ass chongo comin all up to me. What he gonna do, hump mi leg? The taquito has to be same height as the taco, those are mi rules!!
I've never really seen height as too much of an issue, though I've rarely ever met any girls I feel are really tall. The tallest usually top off around 5'10" and there's only been a couple of those. On the other hand not sure I'd want to get with a girl so tall, feels like there's just too much body space being taken up when you try to get intimate. Most girls I know though are really picky about height, even the short girls have been picky. It's odd heh.
@AnonymousBlonde@xanga - Wait, what? You're 5'6, and your heels "put you a shade under 6'??? What the hell are you doing strolling around in 6 inch heels for? Get some comfortable shoes for christ sake!
as a tall girl with a crush on a shorter guy, i approve of this. <3
I'm a tall guy who prefers tall women. From what I've seen however, height in the end doesn't matter for women. They will date men half their height if they are cocky and funny enough.
@amateurprose@xanga - hahahaha.
and for the op: i have never, nor will ever date a guy shorter than me. not gonna happen.
My rule has always been that I have to be able to wear heels and still be shorter than the guy. I'm 5'5'' and the shortest I dated was 5'6'' and that was not a good experience, I had no attraction to him but it was a set up and he looked better in the pics my friend showed me plus his personality... ugh..
The tallest was around 6'4ish
My husband is around 5'10 or 5'11 which fits my 5 inch stilettos rule that I just recently (in the past 4 years) came up with when I got tired of short guys with 0 personality and 0 attraction.