Friday, 09 November 2012
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Birthday Sex
Yesterday was my birthday. While we were out at the bar with my parents, my girlfriend whispered in my ear that she owed me birthday sex (which I was fine with, I like sex). However, it made me wonder, do people really "owe" each other birthday sex? Or any other kind of sex for that matter?To say that you owe me birthday sex makes me feel like our sex life is a chore, and that we only have sex when you "owe" me something. We should, and do, have sex all the time because we both enjoy it. So what makes birthday sex special, other than the fact that it happens on my birthday?
I feel like a lot of women think sex is a birthday gift. Or that buying themselves sexy lingerie and wearing before the aforementioned birthday sex counts as a gift. And granted, if you know me, you'll know that I don't want any birthday gifts, so I'm happy about getting the sex. It just seems funky to me to think of sex as something that can be given as a gift in a healthy relationship.
How do you feel about birthday sex? Is sex ever "owed" or should it just happen out of desire? Is it the same thing?
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- From: manUfan420@xanga
- Name: manUfan420
- About Me: They send you off to college, try to gain a little knowledge, but all you want to do is learn how to score
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Comments (39)
I've had the same experience. Being owe'd birthday sex, or having sex justified by a birthday just feels weird. As if they have specifically gone out of their way to have sex with you on/ for your birthday.
If you are going to gift me with birthday sex then just give me birthday sex damn it. No explanation, rain-checking or inaugural statement, just get funky!
No one is entitled to any kind of sex, but it would be weird to spend his birthday with him and then not have sex with him.
Ugh, people...
The day you were violently pushed out of one vagina is a day-amount divisible by 364.25 when you are "owed" the opportunity to return the favor by shoving yourself back into a different one?
Traditions.
Am I the only one who ever really takes the time to think these things through for what they really are?
BIRTH, n. The first and direst of all disasters. As to the nature of it there appears to be no uniformity. Castor and Pollux were born from the egg. Pallas came out of a skull. Galatea was once a block of stone. Peresilis, who wrote in the tenth century, avers that he grew up out of the ground where a priest had spilled holy water. It is known that Arimaxus was derived from a hole in the earth, made by a stroke of lightning. Leucomedon was the son of a cavern in Mount Aetna, and I have myself seen a man come out of a wine cellar.
- Ambrose Bierce, Devil's Dictionary
@T3hZ10n@xanga - You are like the Sheldon Cooper of Datingish or something.
that's her way of saying that she didn't know what to get you for your birthday or she could not be bothered to get a gift because she forgot, she was lazy, or you're difficult to buy for, which you said that you don't want birthday gifts, so what else was she suppose to get you besides sex. I think she dug her own grave so to speak because she could've just said that she wants to take you now and have sex or not say anything and go for it without saying the "owe" word, which clearly bothered you...and also which is understandable. if someone said that they don't want any birthday gifts, that is just more motivation to get the person something amazing or surprise them with something because they don't "expect" anything. so maybe she wanted to surprise you with something but couldn't think of anything else besides sex, which she knows that you like a lot...unless you have other hobbies that you like that she could use that theme to get you something, which she didn't. I'd probably think my s.o. was inconsiderate if he said that he "owed" me birthday sex. I mean, my birthday is suppose to be special, so doing things that they usually do would make it normal. although why not treat the person special nearly everyday, not just on their birthday. but then they could say that they don't have that much time to treat others "special" nearly everyday, so the others feel taken for granted because their expectations are different. oooh, drama:D
Sex should be an act both enjoy and want to share with one another, not a chore nor a gift. Though I have personally teased people before about giving them sex for their birthday, I wasn't being serious. I'm sure she was just trying to tease you or something rather than actually thinking she 'owed' it to you.
I knew one girl who was so high and mighty (or deluded and self centered) that she was saying how when she has sex she doesn't want to do any work and just lay there while the guy does everything, because really the guy should already be thankful that she's letting him sex her so why should she do anything more than just be there and let him make her orgasm. She went on for a while about that, sad thing is I know a few people who feel similar if not exactly the same as her.
Sounds like you should have been drinking more.
@MzKeekz@xanga - 'Cept I'm sexy and I know it (or at least I suspect that it is the case).
Uh dude, you're reading way too much into some semantic issue. She just wants to give you a little something extra. Would you feel differently if she said "I want to give you..." instead of "I owe you..."?
birthday sex = yay
Now I feel bad about giving someone sex for their b-day :/ I thought men liked that? Granted I also baked him cookies, so that kind of counts as a gift, right?
Doesn't sound like she felt obligated. Sounds like she was excited to do something special for your birthday. Sorry that birthday sex somehow evolved into a bad thing for you...
You're getting laid. Shut up and get horizontal. Or vertical in some cases. Standing is a ton of fun. If she's limber/strong enough, lift a leg up with your arm.
Drawn out though, she's simply using the line "birthday sex" line to be flirty. It's a line you don't get to use very often, so why not yank it from the closet, brush it off and put it on when the occasion calls for it. Since you both enjoy the company of each others genitals, I don't think she actually feels like she "owes" you sex as much as she wants to give you a good time for your birthday. People enjoy giving gifts they know the recipient will enjoy. She knows you enjoy sex..... Boom.
Hahaha, this made me laugh! Obvs, no one is entitled to sex, ever, unless the other participant is willing and able! But for shitsngiggles, I have my story...my bday was late July, didn't get it that day, but the day after...oddly enough, for the same guys bday in September, I couldn't the day of his bday, but the day after. Karma, lol. But yeah, I think bday sex is a good thing!
I wish today was my birthday.
My boyfriend has asked for things that we either don't do a lot or things that are just for him sex-wise on his birthday in the past. The only thing that I think is silly is like recently, when he asked me if we could try a certain position on his birthday(which is 8 months away). I wondered why he didn't just ask me now, and he said because he felt like he would be being lazy or something. I made sure it happened sooner to let him know that it doesn't need to be a "gift".
Other than that, I don't question birthday sex at all. Since he started asking me for things at that time, I've just made a point to just ask what he wants for his birthday(but more like..the day before or the day of, not 8 months away- I think that'd be torture).For my birthday, it's pretty much just a day that we're also obviously going to do something, so he usually either asks what I want too or tells me he's going to do something special.
I do understand where you are coming from though.. I guess it'd be awkward for someone if they were uncomfortable with that or didn't understand it. =(
@TheMagicGnome@xanga - man, you're boyfriend is a lucky son of a bitch
Maybe, because it's your birthday, she's a lot more selfless and giving? If you know what I mean? :)
I have no idea of the tone she used etc, but the situation as you describe...mom there etc sounds to me like she was being totally naughty/flirty. If the first thing she said to you when you picked her up was "ugh, I owe you birthday sex" then made a face, well, then yeah it's lousy she feels that way.
but if she's whispering in your ear with a sound of delight in her voice...get a boner and start making wishes!
There are times I tell my boyfriend he deserves a spanking. This is not because we have a mom/little boy relationship or because I think he should be punished. It's just because...well, you know what comes after the spanking right?
I think it's nice to make a special effort (including buying/wearing/using lingerie or other accessories) for special occasions..! And also at other times just because you feel like it. :)
i couldn't even read the last couple paragraphs after i saw you complaining about this. are you for fucking real? if i didn't already think you were reasonably intelligent from previous comments/posts, i would think you are a total moron, hahaha.
No one owes anyone anything on their birthday. If she'd said that she owed you a present, it would be the same thing. But it's tradition and a nice thing to do.
Maybe the language she is using in terms of "owing" you is a turn on for her if you look at it in terms of her being your "slave". Not that it is any of my business but if she is the submissive type some part of her might get off on viewing your relationship in terms of some sort of servant contract. Or maybe it's a semantic issue that you shouldn't be too concerned with as someone pointed out.
I'm going to go with "She just wanted an excuse to be semi-naughty in an inappropriate setting."
It's like birthday dinner...it's not that dinner itself doesn't happen every day, but you don't get all your favorite (be they extra-delicious, expensive, bad-for-you, etc) things at once, except on your birthday :) So, the menu makes it special.