Where was your first date? Perhaps you met your love interest at a local ice cream stand, coffee shop, or movie theater. Maybe the two of you met up at a dance at school. Maybe you had your first date well into college or early adulthood, and you decided to meet up at a bar or fancy restaurant. No matter where your first date took place, you probably still remember the nervousness and excitement you felt as you anticipated your very first date; the commencement of your entire dating experience. You also probably remember exactly how old you were when you went on that first date.
When is a person old enough to begin dating?
This is an age-old question that parents and teens everywhere struggle to answer. People are not light switches, and emotional maturity that dating requires is not “magically” developed when one hits a certain age. How, then, does a person know when he or she (or his/her son or daughter) is old and emotionally mature enough to date?
It is essential for teens and parents to define exactly what “dating” constitutes to them. The concept of “dating” is not clearly defined in modern American society. Does dating a person require the pair to physically meet up outside of school or work, or is “dating” simply a title given to two people who show a mutual romantic interest in one another, even if they do not physically go places together?
Some people believe that dating can only truly begin when the two people involved are old enough to provide their own means of transportation, while others believe that dating should be saved until college, when the teens become young adults, have a little more life experience, and are likely more capable of making their own decisions. Still others believe that as long as the two people see each other at school and like each other, even if they never meet outside of school and go on traditional dates, they are dating.
When I was in ninth grade, I went with a boy to my very first Homecoming dance. As I made my way down the stairs in my long black dress, my dad made a remark about how I was going on my first date. "IT'S NOT A DATE!" I vehemently objected. After all, I was almost fourteen years old, and I felt that two people could only be "dating" if they were old enough to drive. My dad apparently had an entirely different opinion on the matter and considered going to a school dance, even at such a young age, as a "date."
How do you define “dating”? In your opinion, what is the “ideal” age to begin dating, and why? What traits are signs that a person is emotionally mature enough to date?
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Comments (38)
Lol I've never been on a date but I'd say 16 is old enough.
There's group dating, or not sure how it's termed (if anyone knows the appropriate term, please share), where, a bunch of young teens hang out together to go to the movies or do some other kind of group activities together, and through there interests sparks, more innocent while less chances of "hanky panky", and it seems more socially easy going compared to a one on one date. I would feel if I was to have a kid (with how things are going for him, maybe I can see myself with a kid in a couple of years), I would most likely want my kid to go on these group dates first off before any sort of one on one.
Definitely a case by case basis. I don't think I could give a definitive age, but definitely in the mid teenage years.
This question is too difficult to answer. First it depends on how you want to define the word date and then it depends on the person. I think high school is too young for most people to be considering dating in the sense of getting into a serious committed relationship with anyone. People change a lot in their teen years and you change even more when you are in your 20s. It takes A LOT to stay with the same person through all of those changes.
As far as going on a date, it is going to depend on the person. I thought (and still think) I could have handled it when I was 12, my mom compromised with 14. My niece, my SIL's daughter, probably isn't ready and she is 14. I think the parent and the child should discuss when it is time to start dating.
I don't expect this to be popular, but I think you're old enough to date exclusively when you're ready to marry, not before.
To me, that's different from casually hanging out with groups of people. I'd say a teenager is old enough for that when they display maturity across other areas of their life.
It's not like words or promises have any meaning anymore anyway.
You can never be old enough to date.
In terms of parental trust? When the kid/teen is old enough to go places by themselves, which I think is around 12 or 13. Realistically, at that point the parent loses any real control of who they're meeting when they get there. Forbidding dating at that point is just asking kids to sneak around. Far more productive to foster an open environment, so kids aren't afraid to talk about their crushes and relationships. As for emotional readiness, I personally think it happens closer to 15 or 16, when it stops being about having a boyfriend because it's cool and becomes about really being attracted to someone. Then again, I can only speak for myself, and others may have had their first love earlier.
In general, I'd say about 17 years old. It's really risky, though, in my opinion because some teens get into long term relationships and that doesn't leave much room for change regarding personal psychology and life experience. Of course this doesn't apply to everyone, but it's still true for a lot.
@Pickwick12@xanga - I'll agree with you on dating when you're ready to marry.
I always loved what Oscar Proud said (I used to love "The Proud Family," don't hate!): "No dating until after you're married!"
I used to chuckle at this, and in some ways I suppose it's true. I don't date because I have no desire to marry. I'll just stick to fucking around.
That said, the only serious girlfriend I had, I was almost 23 at the time. I went on my first date the February 13, 2010, one month and five days before I turned 23. Wish I had never done it, too. There are very few things I regret doing, and dating Tracy is definitely one of them.
@Erika_Steele@xanga - What she said.
I started dating when I was 14. At 22, I regret doing that because I dated older guys and they were always sexually pushy. I mean, they still are, but now I have more of a brain to tell them to fuck off. It depends on the person though. I was always really eager to date, and now I don't care about dating. I think 16 is a good age to begin dating, but I don't think you can stop kids from dating when they're in high school. They could be sneaking around at school or while out with friends or, as a parent, you can allow them to date at 14 and at least know who they are with. My parents had me bring the guy I was dating over and they liked him. I don't know why haha. He was 17 and drove while I was barely in high school.
I think the more strict parents are, the more likely they are to rebel and want to date or whatever else that they set rules to, not that rules aren't good, which there should be some limits/restrictions, but my mom was pretty liberal and well, I turned out to be conservative. she watches more porn than me
I think I found her hentai porn dvds
what I'm saying is that I was offended that she allowed me to date or whatever else and thought that I was way too mature for whatever she allowed me to do, although drinking, smoking,etc are usually things that some people, teens maybe, want to do, but can't or aren't allowed to, and they want to do it to feel more like an "adult." I was way too stuckup to give in to the peer pressure or whatever "cool" things that the others were doing. I was probably like stewie from the family guy tv show, where I was into things beyond what my peers were interested in and felt that they were stupid fools! lol psha~I'm still an elitist
it varies by person.
i started close to my 19th birthday (which was 2nd semester of my soph year of college) and while i have my regrets not starting my freshman year, i'm generally pretty happy with the ROI i got from busting my ass with my schoolwork so much (for all of college, not just my first 2 years).
My niece is 15 and just went to homecoming with a boy that is now her boyfriend!!! I think that is too young! she is my wee lil baby! =( At 15 I did not date and am glad I did not. I had boyfriends but it was a love letters/ walk me to class kind of thing.
I dated when I was 18 however! Old enough to drive and see rated R movies.... I dunno. Maturity is the deciding facor I think.I had my first "date" at fourteen and I had a "boyfriend" for four months or so, but it was more hanging out and going to the movies, McDonald's and going around the shops. My first "serious" relationship was at seventeen though, and I think that's pretty reasonable.
I've had boyfriends since before I can remember, and been 'going out' (dating wasn't what we called it) since I was a kid. I believe 'dating' requires a 'date' to be set- either going out somewhere or maybe even just going round the other's house alone to spend time as a couple.
I think you can date at any age as long is it's with someone of a similar maturity level. The maturity and age of those involved will determine what happens, so I don't think we need to limit it to older people.
my goddaughter is 16, and has a boyfriend (they have been friends for well over a year, she went to prom with him last spring as their first "official" date).. But she has always done things ahead of other kids.
Im not sure there is a "right" age though.. I think it completely depends on the maturity of those involved.
I went on my first "real" date at 14. Naturally, it was at the local mall and one of my friends tagged along. Him and I remained friendly for about a year before upping things to an "official" relationship for the next year and change.
People will date when they're ready to date. My two closest friends both started later than I did (one closer to 16 or so and the other at 18), so I really don't think there's a right or wrong answer. The biggest thing to keep in mind at any age of dating is to date someone who is in a similar stage of life/mindset as you. I'm now 24 and dating a wonderful guy that's 29, but we both have comparable life goals for the next 5 years and make it a point to communicate about our relationship regularly, so it works for us.
@ChainBracelets@xanga - I think it's more of a personality thing. Some people are "serial mongamists" by nature; they only have one romantic interest at a time, and it lasts for a significant time before it peters out or they get another. Others are more "dating around" types; they can either sustain attraction for multiple people at once, or jump quickly from person to person; they would feel confined or get bored if in a long-term relationship. I don't think there's anything wrong with either group; they're just different experiences. Furthermore, I don't think being in a relationship (at any point in life) really gets in the way of any life experiences or personal growth, provided you don't make that relationship your whole identity. Which, let's face it, is just fundamentally unhealthy.
I am 28 and have dated anyone, never had a girlfriend, one wanted to marry me before one single date.
Whenever both parties have jobs + individual incomes.
I feel like the different comments are using different definitions of dating, which is interesting. And I think even for myself, I've been in a one-on-one meeting situation multiple times; occasionally I consider it a date, and occasionally I don't, so I think a bit of it is simply in the mind as to what is considered a date, in addition to how you define the circumstances.
When you're ready for marriage, that is when you should date.
The age of which someone is ready for marriage is different for everyone, so it's not really an "one age fits all" type of deal.Although apparently 21 is supposedly the age in which one can get married (which seems really early to me)
I was so back and forth on dating in high school. When I was single, I hated it with a passion. When I was with a girl, it was the best thing ever. I suppose I'll let my daughter go to the movies or to dances with just a guy when she's 14 or 15. I myself didn't really "date" until I was 16. Of course, I'll keep scaring the soul outta any guys she's interested until she's in college and too far away for me to protect. For me, there was no dating after high school, because I went straight into the USAF for a Very short time, came home and got married to a high school sweet heart. Things have been wonderful since then, so it goes to show everyone is different.