Wednesday, 07 November 2012
-
Sighbeans: To Solve a Problem, Heal a Problem
To @sighbeans, a member on this site (my ex girlfriend of 3 years), with whom I was supposed to have a future with. (She decided to cut me out for her own reasons.)I understand; your silence speaks a million words. I hear you, but do you want me to hear you? You were so far away and it was always our plan to live together and be together and yet, I find you not 7,000 miles away anymore, but 50 miles away from me. Everything we ever planned for just came true, but it's not true. All just because you would not talk to me.
Initially, I had so much anger and hate towards your decision, which I released and took out on you. I know it affected your family, too. I worked hard to put it aside, and still you would not talk to me. I can never understand why you would dump your boyfriend of 3 years by email. I stand by the idea that it was cowardly and tactless. I admit, my actions afterwards were also cowardly and tactless. Touche.Now you're back in my life, or are you? It is like a knife in my back again. You must know or care, right? It hurts me so much. I can't sleep and I can't even work properly knowing everything we dreamed of. You being here with me has finally come true, except you're here but you didn't choose me. I am absolutely gutted. I could be around you in less than an hour. I could be taking you on a date, cooking us a dinner, making you laugh....
Honestly, I have really tried to make peace over the last few months and you do not want to know. Well, I am officially letting go of you now. Permanently.
I do not hope or wish for us to be together anymore because I know you will put up a defense, and you will not let me live it down. I will always remember how much I hurt you. So I understand you came here not to hurt me, but to focus on your career, and your life. I want you and everyone to know that I am not mad at you, I do not hate you, and that I am sorry for everything going wrong with us because it's my fault.I did feel that if you gave us a chance we could work because truly, if you allow yourself to think about it, it was the distance that was root of our issues, my impatience, and your insecurity. The distance is gone but I know you won't even let me try and fix it.
I am going to wish only the utmost happiness to you, and I wish for you to complete your medical studies and be the doctor you want to be. I am sorry things went sour in the end, and I accept responsibility. I want you find a nice guy who will treat you right seeing as I won't ever get the chance again. I want you to be free. I want you to think of me in a good way, and well, I truly hope you don't believe our love was a lie.
I remember all our good times, and all the things we did for each other. It really was a fairytale if you think about it. But it seems to me you don't care anymore, and I must accept it. You will actually never know how much pain I am in right now. It is the most indescribable feeling I can imagine. So be it. I accept your decision.I think about us every day, and about how I should have done things right, but that is down to you... and you have made it clear what you want.
It really is time for me to close this chapter and open a new one.I know you are desperately keen to keep us a secret so your family doesn't find out, and I promise I won't breathe a word about us. We were non-existent. I'm getting rid of everything. I will give 'vish' the stuff you got me. It doesn't seem right throwing it in the trash.
Be safe, be happy, be a success.
August 26th, 2008 - October 29th, 2012.
-rg
RecommendRelated Posts
Post a Comment
- Back to datingish's Datingish Site!
- Note: your comment will appear in datingish's local time zone: GMT -05:00 (Eastern Standard - US, Canada)
About the Author
-
- From: riquelme7@xanga
Stats: This Week All Time Posts: 0 2 Views: 0 39047 Comments: 0 106 View all posts by riquelme7@xanga
Comments (20)
I dumped my fiance through text.
I also dumped the same guy on Christmas Day, but then we got back together a month later.
i'm mildly interested in hearing her side of this.
Be strong RG. You'll find someone new.
the few times that I cut people of both genders and different types of relationships out of my life was because they were obnoxious scumbags and/or ongoing drama that I wanted nothing to do with anymore. my life has since been more peaceful
the thought of talking to these people again makes me want to puke. sincerely, moi
So she's a member of this site? Why are you airing all your shit publicly?
It seems kind of tactless and classless to be writing this on here.
You still seem angry. Sounds like something my ex-friend who was in love with me would write claiming to be "over it"...in which case I see why she is ignoring you. You shouldn't be writing this on a public dating blog. And would you really still want to be with someone who would dump you via e-mail? In the great words of Avril Lavigne "If you don't care then I don't care". Not worth it/this post. Get over it. Get out there and enjoy your life/find someone new. Living well is the best revenge :D
aware me on this bean that sighs.
we need more drama in this place.
Ew
Perhaps your first red flag should have been her wanting to keep your relationship a secret for 3 years.
Also, how did this get published? This should be a private message not a public post. Especially since you used her username instead of making it anonymous. If you were over it, you wouldn't have felt the need to expose this to the world.
This is kind of pathetic.
@Syaoransbear@xanga - I too was surprised that the Datingish editors pushed this through. As much as I'm sure drama and posts like this garner readership, he states that she is a member of the site in the post and includes her sn. Datingish just alienated one of their users for the sake of publishing this crap.
I think it is immature and ridiculous to not only include a link to your ex's site in your post, but to formally announce how YOU are letting her go. There was a way to air your feelings without embarrassing a person who already dumped you, you failed to do that and by doing something this childish you seem to be trying to get her attention or get the attention of others who know the two of you, not actually let her go. I really hope you leave that person alone from now on.
@TheNotoriousGOD@xanga - Agreed. She probably just wants to move on though.
@AuCinema@xanga - I sort of feel that he should have just wrote her a personal letter to say sorry, but this is for entertainment purposes, not only for her I am assuming. If it was only for get he probably could find another way for her to read it. UNLESS THIS REALLY THE ONLY WAY HE CAN CONTACT HER.
I mean no
disrespect when I write this but, you shouldn't be here throwing what
basically is a passive aggressive tantrum over someone who wants to have
nothing to do with you. I can understand the bitterness but this is a
classic example of being beta and needy. She wants nothing to do with
you and if she did make the mistake of letting you back into her life
she will either resent you and not take you seriously or use you until
she gets tired and something better comes along. I went through
something similar you're going through and it does get easy as long as
you push yourself to move on.
The moment she made it clear
she wanted nothing to do with you you should have done your grieving and
moved on I'm not saying it's easy but the more you hold on and write
dramatic crap like this the more you will simmer and feel bitter. There
are other girls out there maybe even better than the one you once had.
From one man to another please move on and if you're having trouble find
a support system and take it one step at a time.
MOVE ON!
This should not have been published. It's not something that should be aired publicly, especially when you've linked her username. Datingish, take it down.
I went through something similar. When a woman has made her mind up about you, there is nothing in this world that can change that opinion. Fantasy says otherwise, but reality can be ruthless, concrete, and hard to deal with.
Instead of criticiziing you like the majority of these other people, i empathize with you. Women today are a different breed from yesterday, and showing emotion is apparently "beta." Fuck that. Although i don't agree with you tagging her, anyone can read through the lines and know that your intentions are probably pure.
My best advice to you is become a ghost to her. Focus on you, build yourself up, and become something larger than a relationship based on misguided perceptions.
To other xangans criticizing this guy's character, realize this post was committed under a context of desparation and emotion - and suggest that you have never found yourself in the same situation where you can't think logically or rationally, shame on you.
throw bitches out, get new ones.