This post was submitted by R.
Hello everyone. I submitted
it the day we fought because writing has always helped me clear my mind and helped me see things a little more clearly. I even talked to my roommates about this argument and the troubles between my boyfriend "P" and I. After much thought, I did call him over to sit down and talk. I told him it wasn't fair that I was in a relationship that felt like I cared much more than he did for me
. That his hurtful words had worn me down, he seemed happier hanging with other people, and that I was just hindering his happiness; that is the last thing I want for him.
Because we had argued almost every week, there was barely anything to say from his side. His face was stern and he held no emotion, probably holding it all in. Who knows, I didn't see him after. He packed up his things or what was left of him in my room and left. The next 20 hours were the most painful 20 hours I have experienced thus far.
My roommates consoled me, and I called my best friend over. Thank goodness she goes to the same college. I just sat in my room and cried... I'm the biggest cry baby you'll ever meet, but I didn't cry as much as I thought I would.
Every time I heard a car drive by, door open, a car lock, the townhouse door open... I wished it was him. I wished he would come back. I didn't want to break up with him, but I had to. I'm not going to hold on to someone who isn't trying to hold on to me, too. The next day, I skipped all my classes and bummed on my bed; sleep didn't come easy that night. I drove my best guy friend to a doctor's appointment instead. Didn't feel like eating, didn't feel like doing anything.
Later that early afternoon, suddenly, he shows up at my door.
He wanted to talk some more. He started out saying, "Do you know what I hate about you?" I replied, "...No, what?" He said, "I hate that I don't understand you. I hate that I don't understand why you do things. It's just so illogical to me. Like, why you do things for me." Something along those lines.
He's a very logical person with a low sense of emotional reasoning. I'm probably the opposite, but I like to think I'm logical in my own sense. I explained that my simple reasoning for doing things for him, was that I wanted to make his life easier. I just wanted to see him happy... I don't mind the sacrifice. As we talked, there was an odd sense of ease between us, something we haven't had in awhile.
P continued to say that a good friend of ours he talked to (who saw us get together 2 years ago), said that P obviously did not understand why I did what I had to do. Why I had to break up with him because he didn't appreciate me. I secretly am thanking him with the bottom of my heart for putting some sense in P. Our friend basically called P a douche bag, inconsiderate, etc. I have given him my all, and what has he given me?
The biggest thing about our talk was randomly, for the first time in our two year relationship, he said he imagined what it would be like if we had kids. After a long talk, he apologized for everything. I may have accepted him back into my life too quickly, you might say... but he said that we would work on this. And not only that, I have decided that if we get into this sort of fight with this intensity and heartbreak, I'm out of his life for good. This on-off again mentality is too painful.
Afterwards, I talked to my best girl friend, and she was glad we worked things out. She went through the exact same thing 6 months ago (they have been going out as long as we have). We've had this tendency to have very similar events that happen in our lives. 6 months and going strong?
I'll take it one day at a time. So far so good, we'll see.
Have you ever been in a situation where you broke up with a significant other and worked at it? If so, how well/how long did that last?
I like to hear happy ending type stories, maybe there will be some on Datingish.