Monday, 05 November 2012
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Everyone Has a Gay Ex
It's a funny story, really. Looking back now, I am sure we both feel like idiots. In-fact, we laugh about it all the time. Maria and I are close friends who once both loved the same boy. A boy who is now gay. It's astonishing to think we fought over someone who was chasing his own Romeo. To be fair, he was mine first. Oh the irony!
Maria had asked me who this boy was that I had been dating. I told her about the couple of weeks we had been going out together. She asked me numerous questions, every little detail was what she wanted to know. I had known this boy before she knew of him. Two years before we had a thing, and we became close friends. When he was away for two years, I wrote letters to him weekly and there was always one from him in response to mine.This boy was golden skinned, curly haired, had a beaming smile, amazingly talented (musically, well spoken, everything- he could do it!), going to a great college, and on top of all that, a real sweetheart. Why didn't I realize he was gay you ask? This is what I always question. Why did he continue to date me and flatter all the other dreamy faced, love sick girls who followed him around? My guess is he was probably figuring himself out still, or in denial.
After I was dating this boy for a while, Maria kindly announced to me that she wanted to date him, and that it wasn't fair for me to date him. I was shocked by what she said and told her to go for it, but that it was all fair. We were both immature back then and have grown up a lot since. This news ripped a hole in our friendship for a while. We were each other's competition for a while and friends shouldn't be that way. I am sure I don't have to tell you how it all ended. No one got the boy.
What really bothers me is this boy told me he was in love with me and pursued me endlessly. Why would a man who is gay do this? Myself and the world included learned this boy was gay through a YouTube video. He deleted Maria, myself, and many others from his Facebook. For some reason, he feels we shouldn't be friends anymore since he is out of the closet now. I'd like to be his friend, but I respect how he feels. I hope he finds happiness and peace with himself.
I always joked with a few of my friends about how they all have a gay ex, but I don't. I guess now I do have one.
Do you have a gay ex? Are you the gay ex? Tell me about it.
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Comments (25)
I have 0 gay exes and I am nobody's gay ex. Psycho, crazy, bitch of an ex, sure...but not gay.
I hope your ex comes to peace with being gay and that you eventually get to be friends with him again.
What a generalizing statement. I don't have any gay exes.
Sometimes, it takes a litte while for someone to realize that they are gay or accept that they are gay. People don't have the same timeline as others, so it varies.
No and no.
I have an ex who realized she was bisexual, but that's about it. It seems like your friend is in new territory and may not know how to deal with having old girlfriends around now that he is 'out'. Give him space, but also give him your friendship if he asks for it again.
Apparently the first guy I ever kissed ended up being gay but I don't really believe it.
nope. though a handful of girls have thought i was gay. one of them was this chick for whom i instantly lost the little attraction i had when her clothes came off. i then told her i wouldn't have sex with her and she decided i was gay. girls are so dumb.
i miss your posts, by the way. hope you have more up your sleeve in the near future.
I have a lot of gay exes because I'm bi.
He's probably bisexual. Or he's just a flirt and loved that so many girls wanted him. Maybe he likes leading people on?
Mm, my first real boyfriend was gay. But he tried for like a year to get into my pants, so it's hard to say whether he was really gay or bisexual or just exploring his sexual identity at the time. As it turns out, I'm a lesbian so... yeah, it's awkward all around. I'm a lesbian who lost my virginity to a gay guy.
I think it takes a while for most people to understand their sexuality. I'm still exploring it. I'm sure most gay people date/sleep with members of the opposite sex at some point during their life.
no, but I've thought some guys, whom I didn't know were gay, to be cute. my guy friend recognized him in the picture and then told me..."oh (his name)...he's gay!"
I've checked out guys, who I didn't know were gay, but found out later. usually their voice gives it away that they are gay. whenever a guy has unbeatable style, I'd question if he's gay...though it isn't necessarily the case, but I haven't dated any gay guys. I wished they weren't gay but bi, so they'll check me out, too
I was on the escalator when I noticed the guy in front of me and he had a nice butt
he had a nicely proportioned body overall. the escalator angle view of him was very very nice! I saw his eyeball turn to the side to where I was
then I walked faster ahead of him. I wonder if he checked out my butt; mutual butt-checking out
I wore my tight ass grabbing pants, so he must've. he probably wore the same type of pants
Ha, I know exactly what this is like.
I dated this fella a few years back who i thought was my end all be all. He was fantastic, charming, attractive, sensitive, and a great lay, but prior to us dating he told me of an time where he'd had a gay phase. That should've been the first warning sign but I was naive and in love. Oh how silly I was.
We dated for over a year and he was more of a woman than I was. There was always drama and time after time I'd see him looking at other men and agreeing with me that Vin Diesel was a VERY attractive man. The relationship ended and we went our seperate ways. I haven't had tabs on him whatsoever until very recently ;)
My fiance is currently friends with his new-ish girl friend and oh my. I think this is his transition girl. They both enlisted into the marines and this girl (she is kinda thick and has a very square chin) broke a rule. Prior to going down range at boot camp, recruits are not allowed to change their hairstyle from when they enlist. She shaved off all of her hair except what was on top.
When she got down range, the marines shaved her head completely... For the rest of her military career, she must have a male's haircut. Not that it really matters, she washed out in the first week. However, my ex likes the hairstyle. She looks like a man. My very pretty ex has a manly figure by his side now.
I can't wait until he has a real marine man there instead. It will make me feel so much better and rationalize so much of his behavior during our relationship lol. I just hope that once he figures it out, that he'll do that right thing and come to terms with it.
I'm bisexual and I have several bisexual ex's too. No big deal. And nothing worth dramatising either, it happens.
Yeah. I don't have any gay exes that aren't women who were already gay when I started dating them... hence their willingness to date another woman.
I dated a gay guy when I was 19 (4 years ago). I was one of the first people he came out to. Prior to that, we had a very normal relationship. But, looking back there were definitely some warning signs that I chose to ignore because I liked him so much. After he came out to me, it took us a while, but we were ultimately able to salvage a very normal friendship.
These days, he and I go out to eat and talk about boys. How weird is that? He is a dating a guy who I genuinely like and he has made friendships with many of my boyfriends since as well. Weird.
I have one ex and he's not gay. Nor am I the gay ex. So no not EVERYONE has a gay ex.
This one kid who had an immense, obsessive, creepy (as in, parents-had-to-get-involved) crush on me ended up being gay. I've wondered about that.
"This boy was golden skinned, curly haired, had a beaming smile,
amazingly talented (musically, well spoken, everything- he could do
it!), going to a great college, and on top of all that, a real
sweetheart. Why didn't I realize he was gay you ask? This is what I always question."
I'm not sure what those qualities have to do with being obviously gay? Or were the two sentences not related whatsoever?
No, I don't have a gay ex that I know of. I'm not a gay ex either.
Yes, I dated a man in college who discovered he was gay. Found out that he was gay just a few years ago. I always thought there was something different about him, but never even thought that he loved men... Oh well, he is in a committed relationship now and I wish the best for him.
I think one of the guys I went on a few dates with last year when I first moved to NY is bisexual. But gay? Not that I know of.
nope. not true for me.
Nope. Some girl I made out in high school with ended up becoming a lesbian right after, though I don't know if that was for real or just to get attention. I never really kept up with her. I think if anything people probably think I'm their gay ex, though I'm not gay everyone just says I am heh.
my first boyfriend is now gay. i laugh about it now.. but at the time i was like :O
we dated a looong time ago, so it's not like it bothers me. in fact, i'm happy that he is being true to himself.I have one ex who I believe is in the closet. He married a friend of mine- she thinks he is in the closet, too.
@DarcKleer@xanga - Just seems like everyone I know does. :) haha
@Erika_Steele@xanga - I hope we get to be friends again too. He is an awesome guy! Thanks! Btw, thank you for commenting on both my posts. You are funny. I love your raw honesty and humor. It's entertaining to read. @laytexduckie@xanga - EVERYONE it's just a statement. Most people I know have had a gay ex and it was ironic I got one when I was the only one who didn't have one.
@Gaia - Thanks for the advice.
@isitreal_no@xanga - You may never know...!
@TheNotoriousGOD@xanga - You really miss my posts? That is so sweet. Thank you. :) I have more to come! I promise!
@habitsdiehard@xanga - Interesting..
@Phoenix93Chic@xanga - What an interesting story!
@WaitingToShrug@xanga - I was just describing him. And you know a lot of great, good looking men are gay!
@wolvenchic@xanga - I would love to know how that all turns out!
Maybe he loved you at the time. Sexuality is fluid, ya know.