Monday, 05 November 2012

• Blunders Because of a Boy-Wonder

  
  This post was submitted anonymously.
  
  Where do I begin? It's kind of a difficult story to be quite honest, or at least it is for me because I'm involved in it right now. 

   

  I've been friends with this one guy for a few years, all of which he's had a girlfriend through. However, recently he broke up with her (after being together for three years). To get things straight, at the beginning of our friendship, I never looked at him in any romantic sense; to me he was just a good friend (I was also friends with his girlfriend). Then we started getting lunch 2-3 times a week together and texting each other funny things and such. (I got him a birthday present which ended up being more personal than his girlfriend's... awkward.)
  
  We had basically become really close. I didn't even know I had feelings for him until my friends told me that when we were together we only really interacted with each other, which of course led me to evaluate things. For instance, he wanted to meet my dad when he came to town (and my dad does not meet just anyone, which I told him), so thinking it was not a big deal I let him.

  
  
  He got mad at me when I didn't meet his cousin who was only in town for the night, because I had gotten preoccupied with another guy I had been seeing at the time. He has this one pair of shorts that I told him were my favorite the first year we knew each other, which he wears whenever we go to a themed event.

   

  Fast-forward a bit to a month ago. He breaks up with his girlfriend, which I find out through a mutual friend. We continue texting and such, not mentioning the elephant in the room because that's how our relationship has always been (we don't mention romantic involvements to each other). A couple of weeks pass and we're all drinking together; he and I wind up alone in his room talking about the break-up.
  
  I console him with nice words and such, and then eventually end up crying (I'm an emotional drunk). He pulls me down onto his lap and soothes me and such, and kisses me, my arms, rubs my legs comfortingly etc. I then say we should probably head out to where we're going for the night. The next day, totally thought I imagined it. Our contact continues as if nothing happened. 

   

  The following weekend we both wind up in his room again after drinking, and I eventually wind up on his lap (again). We talk about some serious family things going on in our lives and then wind up kissing, which leads to making out, which almost led to more had I not stopped things. All the while he continued to tell me things like that his ex-girlfriend had always deeply hated me (news to me) because she'd known he had feelings for me, that the reason we always had lunch together wasn't a coincidence like I'd originally thought (same place at the same time), and that he'd always pictured us ending up together after everything.
  
  Eventually we both fall asleep curled in each other's arms, though halfway through the night I wake up and leave because I was afraid his roommates would think something had happened. 
  
  Anyways, following this encounter, contact between us over the next couple weeks became awkward at best. Neither of us were willing to address what had happened (he had explicitly told a mutual friend that he thought it would be best to just not talk about it, and I'm really not a big fan of confrontation especially considering his break-up was so recent). And as of now we've barely talked to each other, and communication is at its sparsest.

   

  I don't know what to do or what to think, and I'm not willing to pull a crazy-girl move and confront him because I know that would scare him. But, truth be told, I want my best friend back and things haven't felt the same without him lately.

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