Friday, 02 November 2012
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Please Don't Text Me for a Booty-Call
A lifetime ago, after a horrible break-up with the man I used to call my soul-mate, I carried on a relationship with a guy who I had nothing in common with, a guy I barely knew anything about, but for almost a whole year. We would meet up for monthly booty-calls. You could call him my one-night stand that lasted a year.
Every time I went home, I felt dirty and unloved and disgusted with myself, and I thought, "I have never been so lonely in my whole life."In the midst of it all, I slowly began to rediscover myself: my passion for life, my hopeless romantic thoughts, and life slowly began to piece itself back together, little by little. I don't even know how the booty-calls ended; they just did.
Who would have thought five years later, I'd be here again. It's been six months since H and I broke up. Six months of sadness, craziness and booty-calls. Then the other day, I felt sick to my stomach knowing that this man, who I love with all my heart, no longer cared, loved or respected me. How could he, when I didn't care, love, or respect myself?
Every time he called, text, or wanted some ass, I was there in a heartbeat, hoping that maybe he'd change his mind about us.So today, when he text me about getting together, I asked him, "Why would you want to continue to fuck someone you want nothing to do with?"
And he couldn't honestly answer my question.
So I ask you, why would your ex repeatedly carry on a sexual relationship with you when they know that you want something more? Especially if they repeatedly tell you that they care, love you, and respect you as a person?
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- From: TheUglyTruth
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Comments (35)
He just wanted to get laid. He was just saying that so that you'd sleep with him.
A guy once told me up front that he [quote] "didn't want a girlfriend or female friends because that required mutual respect and [he] wasn't capable of feeling that for a woman."
I was interested in hooking up with him (I was even okay with a one night stand) but once he told me that, I lost interest and didn't sleep with him.
What woman is going to sleep with a guy who's like, "yeah, you're nothing but 3 holes to me..."
@themagicweedfairy@xanga - amen
You think sex should have feelings attached to it, and not just be done as some sort of quid pro quo arrangement?
Women with that mindset are an endangered species.
hey that's the girl from the shaolin soccer movie in your profile pic
why would you continue to have bootycalls for a year and do it again later knowing that you feel miserable afterwards?!
because you were horny, lonely and desperate for attention?!
He wanted sex. So he flattered you to get it. Like any typical guy/girl who wants to get laid. Simple as that.
Do bootycalls make you feel miserable because you need a deeper connection to feel satisfied? Or because you think you 'should' feel guilty because of ridiculous double standards. Curious.
i agree with the others, easy booty call and you were convenient and always there. i did it too and i hated myself for doing it.
Tell him you are now off limits and move on.
I fucked an ex for a year. We are pigs. How simple is that? Men simplify everything. Women complicate everything. That's why we are never on the same page. A man can tell a woman he absolutely has no desire for something serious and she will sleep with him thinking she can "fix" him and then blame him when it doesn't work. We end up the asshole either way. So why not just be that from the start?
You said you loved cared and respected him or he was saying that to you? If he was saying that to you, and is consistently calling you for booty calls and not really looking for more, then he might just be confused about how he feels or is just going through the motions of what was there before. If you're saying it to him, and he just wants to have sex because the sex is good, well that's kinda lame, but you're giving it whenever he asks so it'd be pretty rare/hard for him to stop asking.
The title of the blog just made me think, would you rather a phone call for a booty call? I know that's not what the post was about, but that was my first thought. I don't think I'd want a drawn out phone call about wanting me to go over for sex. A quick text would be much easier...also easier to ignore if I don't feel in the mood to be someone's booty call for the night.
IMHO, you're just as guilty for being so gullible.......time after time
Been there done that...he's a jerk, forget about him and move on. I know it's easier said than done..
There are many reasons an ex could do this to you, but two stand out to me. One is the ability to cope with a breakup. Lets be honest, when breakups happen they can be very emotional. An ex can use this to cope with it by getting one's physical needs met. The other might reciprocate for the same reason as well to cope with the situation. Another is a fail safe (the backburner). So with this reason, the ex can freely date whomever without any stingingness from being rejected or turned down or lack of sex. Because hey there's always a backup.
Let's be completely honest, if you want something more and you're not getting it, it's your fault for staying there to consistently get hurt. Easier said than done I know.
The only true way to cope with not being a booty call is to, well, break the cycle. Understand you are not the type of person who wants to be used and do something about it. Is it better to cling to hope of something and be hurt longer or letting go of it and moving on and being happy?
Because they want sex without the commitment, and you give it to them, so they keep asking knowing that they'll get it. If you refuse, they'll soon lose interest.
I assume you're looking for a more sophisticated answer than "to get you into bed."
Further evidence of how women continuously pass up the guys who are good for them and respect them and hook up with all the dickheads and sleezebags.
Uh, is this a serious question? If someone is horny, they'd say anything to get laid. He obviously doesn't care about you. Try to have some self respect and cut off all communication with him.
Why would you think he'd change his mind after so many times?
i wouldn't, and that's why i'm single. because i also wouldn't want to be with someone who would treat herself like that, nor would someone who would treat themselves like that want to be with someone like me.
Some of my greatest life lessons have been the most painful.
You are recognizing your own worth...good for you.
Forgive yourself for the past and move on knowing more about yourself than ever before.
You deserve to find a man who will love and cherish you...who will want to make love with you...not just at you..
Go forward with a wiser smile on your face!!!
Christy
Because "booty-calls" are easier to get than being in a commitment. Our generation is f*cked with love because sex is more encouraged than before. Plus when it comes to sex it's more physical with some men than emotional.
Sorry to hear that he's using you as a booty-call. :( It sucks when it comes down to it. But I promise you that you will find somebody who will love you just for you and not for your body. :)
o dear I feel sorry for you... for not knowing the nature of the XY species.
Because people are dirty whores. ALL of us.
Stop talking to him.
@ChoBlurbs@xanga - LOL every generation thinks they invented sex. You should have been around in the sixties, if you want to see sex without commitments!
To answer your question: because they can. As long as you are there to answer the booty call, he'll continue to call, until he's tired of you.