Thursday, 01 November 2012
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When Politics Interfere With Love
With the presidential election coming up in less than a week, there are surely more debates going on than just the ones on CNN. Every election incites arguments between friends, family, and lovers, but in this one especially, when two candidates differ so strongly on social issues, there are bound to be many impassioned fights across the country.
Obama publicly professed his support for gay marriage during his last term, while Romney and Ryan have voted for and even sponsored congressional bills that outlaw abortion and other methods of contraception. There is clearly a social divide between the two candidates. The question is, how is this impacting couples in the United States?Personally, I am an extremely liberal person. In my mind, it would be an absolute deal breaker for me if someone I was dating was conservative. But then there are those situations when people just fall in love. Maybe it's love at first sight, or maybe you fall in love with everything else about a person, and yet your political views differ vehemently. To what extent can you be close to someone whose political views are different from yours?
I am sure that it is possible, as I have friends whose parents have been happily married for years despite different political views. However, I also know that one thing that holds my boyfriend and me so close is our common view of equality for all people, gay or straight, man or woman, rich or poor. For me, it all comes down to values. I truly believe that I would never be able to love someone with such different values than me, and many of my values boil down to liberal politics. When I think about raising a family with someone down the road, I can't imagine that person not sharing the same liberal politics as me. But maybe I am wrong. Maybe it is possible to agree to disagree.
What do you all think? Is it possible to love someone and be in a relationship long term if they have different political views than you?
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Comments (27)
I'd never be able to date somebody who agreed with the views of Romney/Ryan.
I have friends who are conservative but could not love or live with someone whose beliefs are to the right.
Maybe it's because everything is so polarized right now. Maybe it's because of the high potential for many kinds of betrayal inherent in all relationships and this would add one more. Of course commonality of belief systems has always been critical to marriage or anything like it.
I'm good with whatever side of politics a person may be on, no matter how conservative or liberal or other they are, as long as we can come to a consensus or compromise on our own decisions. What I cannot take however, is when someone constantly uses their political stance to bash on the opposing view (even if it isn't my own). Political superiority complexes are a no no.
i am dating someone with political views on the completely opposite side of the spectrum from me. i once thought it was a total deal breaker and would never even consider it...!
anything is possible, really really. you just have to be open minded and respectful of each other's views at all times : )
I could never date someone who shared the views of Romney or Ryan. I'm happy to be friends with Republicans and all that, but when it comes to relationships, I don't want to argue over how to bring up my children. I can't see myself being with someone who doesn't believe I have the same rights as them.
My boyfriend and I have very different when it comes to politics, but we both just agree we are tired of hearing about it and we try not to get into big arguments about it because we know its okay to have different views on it. I also thought military, somewhat highly religious people were deal breakers as well and my honey is both so I guess it just comes down to how open minded you and your partner are to things.
i know i've posted this recently, but conservatives and their sperm are not allowed near my uterus.
I think politics is stupid. There aren't even any real evidence that citizen votes count. I made a debate group and someone brought this up. After thinking about it, they are right, there is no real evidence. Sure you vote, but do you see it actually being submitted to the right people for it to count or do they just throw your ballot in the trash to fabricate the statistics? Some people became president and it's like HOW if the so called majority of the United States hate them. Everyone keeps saying they hated Bush yet he somehow got voted in twice.
They could be fabricating the statistics. I don't know where they're getting their early votes and votes like that because I'm not a part of it! Only this year did I finally start saying something about politics because I dislike the president that we have right now.
Part of dating is accepting someone for who they are. If I view things a certain way, I'm not changing my views for anyone. If they can't accept what I think then so be it. There are other fish in the sea who won't be so childish about it.
All sides are the same, at least they act like it with the attacking each other unless you agree with one side or the other. I don't know why they think they're different, it's not like the democratic system has done any better than the republican system. Democratic system = spending money we don't have!
@DarcKleer@xanga - I had an Obama friend defriend me on facebook because I guess he was getting tired of my Obama bashing statuses, lmao so i blocked him after i found out he removed me on both my accounts to let him know i know he removed me. i reactivated my old account to see if he removed that one even tho i haven't been on it and he removed both. but it's okay if he puts down anyone but democrats on his statuses when things get said about his group he gets his panties in a twist. thing is with that friend i thought we were cool. we are/but aren't acquaintances because whenever we run into each other we would hang out and talk for a while and catch up. now i don't know what to do the next time i see him. luckily i only ever saw him at school and i already graduated from college so i won't be seeing him much. the next time i know i'll see him will be at a mutual friend's wedding. this ought to be interesting.
but more on the post though, i live with a roommate who is an obama fan. i cringed when my car broke down and i had to drive his for a few days because it had an obama bumper sticker on it and people would think it was my car if they saw it, lol. i don't hate my roommate for liking obama, we just don't really talk about it. one of my childhood friends is an obama fan too and i just shake my head. voting for obama for a second term is like voting for romney in my book.
I don't think I could have dated someone who thought abortion was okay, or who thought socialism was superior to capitalism. I strongly believe all human life deserves to be protected, so I couldn't back down on the former; the latter would just annoy me too much. Fortunately, my husband is a conservative-leaning libertarian. ;)
Just FYI, "abortion" =/= "contraception" ... look at the word "contra-ception" ... contraception is something that prevents *conception*... abortion can only happen *after* conception.
In answer to your question, yes I do believe two people can have differing viewpoints on political matters and still love each other. Unfortunately, respectful disagreement seems to have been lost in this culture.
This topic was posted last week....by me. Thanks datingish. LINK to the original.
@flapper_femme_fatale@xanga - hahaha, love it. we should like, totally hang out sometime.
Values and Liberal Politics aren't even remotely linked.
@BandoHobbit@xanga - Yea, pretty much this. I stopped getting involved in Crusades-with-a-capital-C in early university, because there was always something that was in dire need of fixing and would doubtless bring about the end of the world should it be allowed to continue. And most of the time, the proposed solution wasn't fixing the problem, it was verbally insulting the people who disagreed.
Truth be told, the times when political disagreements would actually make a difference in a relationship are few and far between... I think they are a little bit like the "previous relationships" talks. We make a big deal of them at the start of a relationship, but give it a few arguments about where we'll spend the holidays, deal with the stress of moving cities and jobs, and plan ways to spend time with each other and the fact that somebody would vote differently than you just pales in comparison to those issues. There's very little immediacy to modern politics... and even if you believe strongly in something, there's probably not a lot of effect that belief will have on the day-to-day of a relationship or marriage. Are you kind to each other, interesting to be with, passionate in enough ways, smiling in each others presence? Those are far more important than ballot boxes.
Most frightening of questions when meeting anyone the last thing you want to hear is - hi I am from the government and I am here to help you...
@BandoHobbit@xanga - Some people would define some oral contraceptives as being potential "abortion". Oral contraceptives change your hormone levels so that you do not ovulate. However, in about 2% of a woman's cycles, an egg will end up being released nonetheless. Part of what the pill also does is change the lining of the tubes and uterus to prevent implantation. Because the egg is fertilized but prevented from implanting, some would consider this to be abortion, if they considered the fertilized egg to be a life.
Just a thought.
Quite unlikely. I prefer someone with a moderate view who can see the pros and cons of both sides, as super left progressivism (the likes of Berkeley protests) are just as retarded and close minded as the super right conservatism like that in the deep South.
I could NEVER be in a serious relationship with someone who is conservative. Minimally conservative maybe, but when it comes to gay rights, womens rights, and religion I will not budge how I feel and I could not be with someone who felt differently. luckily my husband shares every opinion I do
Why would I be with someone who does and supports what in my opinion is going to harm the world? Or worse, someone who simply disrespects large parts of me?
The only reason to date someone whose views on the world are opposite to
yours, and simply "tolerate" it is that you don't know or care about politics and don't really HAVE a clear opinion at all. Or of course the financial/economic benefits you get out of a marriage or living together.
To each their own I say, but if I am with someone they need to think alike. I think that's normal. (and i am somewhat politically opinionated). Tolerance is not a good virtue when it means "accept everything that you see as wrong" imo.
My SO and I have some differing views but I couldn't imagine being with someone who shared ALL of the same views I did. I want to be with someone who will help expand my views and thoughts, not just egg me on when I'm in a debate.
We both believe in women's rights and agree on most equality issues and that's important to me. We have some differing stances on other things but it's easily enough sorted out and we can talk about it objectively and understand the other's views. I'd like, if we ever had children, to be able to tell them that their parents have different ideas on life and that that's okay. Not everyone feels the same and they can still get along and love each other. We do, however, have extremely different ideas on religion. I'm an atheist and he's Christian so that's sometimes a challenge. However, we agree to disagree and it rarely breaks out into an argument. Again, it goes back to everyone having different opinions and that's not a bad thing. There's diversity in the world, you know?
I am so thankful that my boyfriend has basically the same views as I do. However, we still try not to talk about politics with others. They can easily ruin a good time. I'm not going to say that I would automatically not be interested in someone who was Republican because not all are the same, but I would never be able to date someone who was against gay rights or women's rights (which includes abortion). On that note, I'm also fairly certain that I could not be in a relationship with a religious person. I don't care for that.
I have to vote just to cancel out my husband's vote.
Won't work for me. I'm glad my boyfriend and I share similar views on politics.
@lyrra_askavi@xanga - Yes, I understand the mechanisms of "the pill", and how these drugs do not only work by suppressing ovulation but are also capable of preventing implantation.
tcoyf.comAnd actually, if you're using a progesterone-only type hormone therapy, the "breakthrough ovulation" rates can be considerably higher. I actually stopped using hormone therapy as my method of birth control because of this possibility of ovulation despite my diligent pill-taking practices. I used "fertility tracking" or "fertility awareness", specifically the "sympto-thermal method" to successfully and reliably avoid pregnancy for 4.5 years.
or
ccli.orgare good, reputable sources on fertility awareness and Sympto-Thermal Method as a means of birth control, whereas many other internet sources are, unfortunately, hopelessly flawed.
There ARE reliable, safe, healthy ways to avoid pregnancy, and still respect your convictions if you are pro-life.