Thursday, 01 November 2012
This post was submitted anonymously.
Over six months ago, I was in a horrible place. I had just broken up with my boyfriend who cheated on me and that night I took a look in the mirror and realized that I didn't like the person I saw.
In all of my relationships, I had given and given but received nothing in return. Instead of solving issues, I carried the baggage and stowed it away in the closet of my new relationship. There was an incessant pattern of zero trust, giving myself up sexually too early on, and thinking that I had found love in something that really had none. I was so afraid of being alone that I dated men I knew were wrong for me, but consciously chose to ignore the signs, each time losing a fraction of myself until there was nothing left.
That night, I changed for the better. I stopped dating, having sex, and worked on myself. I did things for me instead of for others. When my ex asked me to take him back three months later, I refused. It felt great. While old me would have received him with open arms, I had since learned that I did not need a man to complete me. The new me knew that in order to be in a successful, loving relationship, I had to love myself first. For the next while, this is exactly what I did.
But then one day, I met the man that I'm in love with now. I was the bridesmaid at my best friend's wedding and I noticed the wedding photographer talking to someone. I flirted a bit with him at the wedding but nothing came up. He was so shy and sweet and I figured that a man like that must be taken. Lucky for me it turned out he wasn't and the bride was angry that I didn't tell her and she made haste to hook us up. Apparently, his last relationship left him with a broken heart and after that women thought he was too nice and this usually left him friend zoned. Admittedly, the old me would have too.
Long story short (not really), I pursued him and we are together now. We are in a long distance relationship but despite that so far it has been amazing. He is gentle, caring, funny and exciting. He pleases me both spiritually, mentally, and physically. He challenges me to be the best that I can be and makes no excuses for himself. He treats me like a Queen and in return I treat him like a King. I truly appreciate him and I know the sentiment is returned. And yes, he is too nice, and I freaking love it! It is in no way a curse, but completely a blessing.
When we visit each other, it's like we are seeing each other for the first time. I love that he opens the car door before I get in. I love that he holds the door open for me. I love that he grabs my hand when we walk down the street. I love that he is romantic. Period!
I'm happy and I wish this happiness for everyone. But most importantly, I am thankful.
Have you had to go under a huge personality and lifestyle change and thus improved your life substantially?