Sunday, 28 October 2012
This post was submitted by 'Just Some Guy'.
I've been with my SO for the past year and a half. I'm 25 and she's 27. We get along perfectly and I really do love her and she loves me. We both completely respect each other's space and personal freedoms. We've never even had an argument, although we have stepped on each other's nerves before slightly. She's going to be moving in with me at the end of the year and I couldn't be happier.
With all that in mind, marriage seems like a natural step, but I am hesitant about marriage because I've seen so many other men get steamrolled in divorces, and an equal number of men in unhappy marriages. It seems that once you do get married, if for any reason you don't meet your SO's standards or expectations, they can divorce you for any reason and then you'll be in a terrible emotional and financial state.
My Uncle went through that. When he and his wife got divorced for "irreconcilable differences," he ended up losing his house and his family. He had to move out and still pay the mortgage and child support. To top it off, he could only see his kids two weekends out of the month. Long story short, he ended up losing his visitation rights because he would show up and see the kids when he wasn't "allowed to."
My Aunt filed a restraining order against him and it stuck. The man was just fiercely loyal to his kids and just wanted to spend time with them. As soon as her kids were old enough to move out, they did. One by one. She's pretty much been the black sheep of the family since.
I have other examples, but this is already turning out longer than I thought it would. I'm just really conflicted because everywhere I turn, the message in society is to get married. But actually looking at marriage, the most logical thing to do is to not get married because of the high risk of divorce. I really don't want to end up a bitter old man like my uncle. He used to be the happiest guy I knew.
What's your take on it?