It's not a waste of time. Crying gets rid of all the hurt and the anger and leads to acceptance and the ability to move on.

Obviously, you've never been in that position. Human emotions are complex enough so we can't just turn them on and off like a light switch. Contrary to what some people think, we don't always get to choose how we feel. We do choose how we act. But I don't think we choose who we fall for. It just sort of happens. Someone who still loves someone who cheated on them often can't help it.
While I get what you're saying, that someone like that isn't worth your time, you come across as incredibly judgmental. If you've never even been in that situation, who are you to tell someone else how they should feel about it?

@EccentricSiren@xanga - Just to put you in your place:

So they keep saying that you can't control how you feel, and you know what, that's fine.

However, you can control how you handle the situation.

When someone starts disrespecting me in any way, shape or form, I ignore them.

It's really not that hard to just stop answering texts/phone calls from a jerk no matter how much I like him. There was this one guy who always made plans with me but never followed through.  We'd hang out for a while and everything was fine, and then  the flakiness began.  This was someone who I had a major crush on back in high school who finally started talking to me after we all graduated  college and I couldn't believe I was finally hanging out with someone I really used to like.  He sent me a few texts asking me why he hasn't heard from me in a while and if I still missed him anymore.  I didn't  respond and he eventually stopped contacting me.  He admitted to sleeping with other people on the days that he wasn't hanging out with/talking to me which I can pretty much put two and two together as to why he didn't respond to me when I asked him to hang.

It's not as hard as some people make it out to be.  When some "friends" were pissing me off, I ignored every text and phone call they tried to get me to respond and they even told me that I'm good at ignoring people so...situations are what you make of it!

It really irritates me that people think I haven't been in that situation and who am I.  Who are you to say that I haven't been?  Maybe I'm just a stronger person than you are and I don't cave easily to people who've treated me like crap. Last time I checked, I'm pretty sure I didn't name every dating experience I've ever had so I'm shocked you know all about my past.

@Jenny_Wren@xanga - I always talk like if/then even if I have been through something.  My experience wasn't exactly like the one I described but it was similar.  The only difference is mine wasn't official, but it was with someone I had a major crush on who treated me like crap so it's pretty funny that someone would tell me I haven't experienced something with someone I really "loved" or "liked" when I have.  I got him to admit he slept with other women while he wasn't with me when I told him he didn't have to lie to me especially since we weren't official anyway because I asked him if he had hooked up with other people during the times we don't hang out just out of safety reasons and he lied at first that he hadn't.  I don't care what he did with other people when he wasn't with me since we weren't an official couple, it's the ignoring me for days and then he only initiating the plans and following through only when he initiates it is what started making me ignore him back.  Simply used an example that doesn't involve me that best illustrates the situation so it's just as bad for someone to come at me assuming they know all about my life when they know very little. 

*shrug* Love/emotions are irrational. People can be however 'strong' or 'weak' they want. And they should be able to handle their relationships without being judged. (Unless they're being physically abused, and keep putting themselves or children into harms way. Even then, they need support, not blind criticisms.)

That being said. I've been cheated on. Twice. In both cases I found out after the relationships were already over. I honestly didn't care. I wasn't upset, it just didn't phase me. We'd already broken up, why would it bother me?

I've also cheated on people. So I suppose I'm a bit biased to be less harsh. Still, people CAN change. People can and will do what they want. Feel how they want. No matter what us bystanders think of them.

The picture chosen for this article is so appropriate...it reminds me of the OP!

Looks like someone needs a tampon...

@xinq@xanga - I assume you mean people who continue a relationship with someone they've caught cheating multiple times?

On that I agree. If it's a repeat occurence, people need to move on. Obviously they are not on the same page in that case.

If it happens once (depending on various circumstances) I think people deserve a second chance. Cheating once does not always imply an inevitable repeat.

@Jenny_Wren@xanga - that last line was written so beautifully, and i agree. I'd love to meet a person with such fortitude to forgive another for giving them such pain. :)

I feel you're not being completely understanding to people who go through this.  Whether or not you went through situations like the people you're mentioning, I may not know, but there's something about your stance on all of this.  It feels to me like you may not know what it may be like to fully allow yourself to be vulnerable to another person, to literally trust your life in someone's hands to the point that if they killed you, you're still alright with it.  Although we should have our guard up, there are those who find comfort in fully trusting someone else, and allow for complacency to set in.

This may not be very healthy in a relationship mind you, so I understand that in your stance, you're overall perspective tends to points towards an individual's sense of independency and dignity.  What if those perspectives aren't available?  That may sound very idiotic, but there are various factor that causes such perspectives to not be available, especially in cases in which an individual was raised to be dependent on others and to not know how to be self-sufficient.  What if that individual had underwent certain traumatic experiences that led them to lose such perspectives that could have enable them to overcome the situation of being cheated on and wanting their SO back.

You can refute what I say if you like but to me, I feel like you just posted something that generalized something that may have certain exceptions to the case and it seems like you'll disregard those exceptions.  If you feel such an annoyance to the topic you're putting out there, then you can try to help solve it, and while doing so, research a bit more about this topic, as I feel like there's much more than you may realize that should be taken into account.

@tictact0e0@xanga - If the girl I mentioned came to me always complaining about her boyfriend cheating on her I would tell her to go complain somewhere else.  If he cheated once and she wants to give him one more chance then that's fine I'd support that.  People make bad decisions and maybe they've learned from them the first time after being given a second chance.  If it's a continuous cheating, I don't pity those people who allow themselves to be continuously treated that way.  Now that's letting oneself being treated like that.  Once or twice is enough to be able to tell one self that one self deserves better than to be cheated on constantly.  She's still being cheated on by that guy even in their marriage.

Yes, sometimes in relationships having dignity and self-respect is very lacking in these situations.

@Guest - Did you forget a tampon today?  You must be talking about yourself. Lol, love how you think you're so "clever" with your "insults" yet you have to sign in under anonymous to say it.  Get back to me when you sign in under your real name.