Friday, 26 October 2012
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Changing Last Names on Social Networks and in General
While trying to come up with a new topic, I was browsing around the social networks today and found something very odd; well at least to me it is. There was this couple who got divorced and she still uses her former husband's last name yet it lists that they're both in relationships with other people. If I got divorced, I would be changing my last name back to my maiden name.They have a kid together and they're obviously still going to keep in touch because of the kid, but they both definitely have new relationships with new people. This kind of reminds me of the Demi Moore thing when she didn't change her last name on twitter and still had Ashton's last name even though they divorced.
What do you think, would you change your last name to your maiden name or still keep your ehusband's/ewife's last name just because that's the name that most people know you by now?
I had a preschool teacher who got remarried like 2 times and I never knew what Mrs. "last name" to call her because I always knew her by one last name.
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- From: xinq@xanga
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Comments (32)
My mother still keeps my father's last name even though my parents divorced. Never really knew why she kept it, but I never really questioned it either.
I have a friend who kept her ex-husband's last name because she liked it better than her maiden name. I don't worry too much about it. It's their own business.
I know plenty of people who kept their husbands name when they divorced. I thought it was pretty normal.
My mother-in-law kept her married name even after they divorced so she could avoid explaining why she and her son have a different last name. Besides, changing your name on legal documents is a hassle...so I probably wouldn't change it back if we split.
I know a couple going through this right now. She is keeping his last name because she worries that if her child ended up in the hospital (or some other emergency) there would be more difficulties because of their different last names.
Who cares what your name is, roses smell.
Or something like that.
My mother never changed her name, she's always gone by her maiden name, and she gets ENDLESS questions about "the divorce." She and my dad have been married 34 years now, still going strong... I completely understand not wanting to change your name back.
1] It costs a lot of money in most states to change your name and 2] it's none of your business why she kept it. Why do you even care?
I would keep my married name if we had kids...just to have the same last name as my kids. Makes life easier.
Why should it matter to anyone else but the woman who got the divorce? My in-laws make the biggest deal over the fact that my BIL's ex-wife didn't change her name back when they got a divorce. I don't get what the big deal is.
my mom kept her married name after divorcing my dad, because she was concerned that it'd be too confusing for me to grow up with a different last name than her.
@Saridactyl@xanga - 1- I don't care what she does. 2- it's a simple question giving an example, why so butthurt about the question? 3- if i didn't have any kids with the guy i wouldn't want to be reminded of a failed marriage. the people keeping names because of the kids i understand -- and demi's situation i don't. 4- why the tude? is this not datingish a site to ask about dating topics? *yawn*
no one's situation on here is anyone's business here. people come here to talk about dating, etc. topics. what's the point of datingish if people keep complaining that it's "none" of people's businesses, gawd. it's getting old.
It's a normal thing, and it's probably because it's expensive.
Facebook won't even let me change my last name because they said I changed too many times (I changed it once?) and that I have to send in a copy of my marriage license so I can change it on Facebook. Screw that. That's the reason my maiden name is still used. Everyone got so offended when I didn't change it to my husband's last name on Facebook and I had to constantly say on my facebook status why I couldn't.
this is what people don't seem to understand...it's not "his name".
I've been divorced and people ask me why I kept "his name"...well, um, it's MY name. Legit, legal, for decades. It's not his, it doesn't mean I am not over him, am controlled by him, or have no personal identity.
It's my name.
I like it.
People change their names for many reasons other than marriage or divorce, and keep names they feel connected with regardless of marriage or divorce. A few weeks ago I was in a conversation with a man who said he threatened one of his ex's with a lawsuit ...to sue to get "his name" back, scaring her into changing her name.
I told him exactly what I've said here...um it's not YOUR name, it's hers, and she can damn well keep it if she wants to. There is no way I'm giving up my identity, if an ex is pissy about having the same last name, well, they are free to change theirs to whatever they so desire.
@sunshinedust_xox@xanga - That's why my Mother did it.
My mom kept my last name until she got remarried, solely because it was too much of a hassle to change it on everything (passport, drivers license, etc). so i'd understand. and i mean, if it's legally your last name, i wouldn't change change it on facebook.
Women don't change their last names when they get married here. So it's not an issue. I don't really understand why I'd have to give up my name, but he wouldn't, if we got married.
I don't remember my preschool teacher's first or last name
I don't remember that period of my life. maybe I didn't even go to preschool
I must've skipped preschool and went straight to kindergarten
I remember kindergarten
I still have the spin art picture I did as the cover page for my kindergarten autograph yearbook. it was cool. I drew an apple in it. I also drew a picture of my bestfriend. apparently she wore an all yellow track suit because that's what I colored her clothes as.
I am divorced and seeing someone. I have considered changing my last name back to my maiden name ,but when I approached my son about it he was upset about the thought. He felt it wasn't fair to my grandchildren. They know me by the name I have now (they have 6 grandmas!) and he said he felt as though I was trying to divorce him as well and that it wasn't fair to him. I agreed to keep it until his father re-marries which is quite likely, or if I do. Not likely!
@dreamchaser66 - That's a fair deal I'd say. I think it'd be pretty weird to have the same last name as the ex-husband and he's married to someone new. What if you have children with the new guy? That wouldn't be fair to the new children, either.
One of my friends I hang out with he has an assortment of siblings with different last names. His dad was married to someone else before and had three children with a different woman and his mom had one child with another man, too. So when they both remarried to each other and had their own three kids, they changed all the kids' last names to the current husband.
For those that say it's expensive to change names, well that's the price some people have to pay when they get divorced. I wouldn't keep an ex-husband's last name. If a relationship ends, especially badly with someone, I'd want to get rid of everything about them including the last name -- this is hopefully that I don't have children with the guy that I can do this.
Generally I don't care, and yeah getting a name change is a hassle sometimes. When I got married I dropped my middle name and replaced it with my maiden. It wasn't actually all that difficult, nor was it expensive, the marriage license cost way more! If for some reason we get a divorce, I will drop my husband's name, and I will tell you why...
My father's name is very unique, even among Greek names. My (birth)mom and my stepmom have the exact same first name. A couple years after my dad remarried, my stepmom applied for a job that required a background check and the report came back with numerous felonies. My (birth)mom had kept her married name, despite moving on, and went down a troubled road with the law (we lost contact with her post-divorce). It was her records that popped up. While these two women had different middle names, my stepmom had to show her birth certificate to prove she wasn't the felon they thought she was. They eventually believed her and gave her the job.
My mom and dad are divorced, but she kept his name. Then she had my half-sister who also inherited the last name because of personal reasons. I don't really think of it as a big deal and I don't think I would have made it a priority to change my last name if that were to happen for me but maybe that's just because society hasn't really made it one.
I don't see a reason for changing a last name I have had all my life so I kept my last name and our kids took my last name instead of hubby's.