I'm in my second relationship, and I am actually only 23. I've never been a very social person, so it's been a very different thing for me. My current boyfriend is a really nice guy. Sometimes, I even think that he's a little too nice that it gets annoying. But I think, "At least he's not a douche, right?" However, I can't think of him as anything more than a friend anymore.
The thing is, we went out in June for almost two months, and then I broke up with him because I wasn't attracted to him anymore. But then, only a month ago, I asked to get back together. But I think I did it only because I was lonely.
And now, I totally regret getting back together with him. When we kiss, I just want to leave the room. It is that bad! Unfortunately, my parents and my older sister, who is very close to me, really like him and think that he's the greatest. I have no idea what to do. I'm afraid that he already loves me, and I hardly like him.
And to put more into that, I can't stop thinking about my ex-boyfriend, who was my first boyfriend. I could kiss him and I felt like I was on Cloud 9. Unfortunately, he lives 2 1/2 hours away from me, so I can't even tell him anything. I broke up with him because he wanted to get more physical, and I didn't. But now, I miss him. I have talked to him a few times, and I'm almost positive that he still has feelings for me. My life is not looking good at all.
Does anyone have any suggestion for me?
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Comments (24)
Break up with him, you're just leading him on, it isn't worth it for either of you. You are young, there will be others. Just make sure you break clean, don't leave hope for another relapse if you aren't attracted to him, it is only fair. Additionally, family opinion of a significant other doesn't matter unless you are smitten with your own opinion of them. You can figure out your ex-bf desires after you've cut this one loose.
Why would you try and get back together with someone you weren't attracted to? It's not fair on him and you're only leading him on. Break up with him and learn how to be single. You need to be able to make yourself happy before you can have a functioning, adult relationship.
Break up with him and don't get back together with him.
If you get *that* lonely, then get a kitten.
Aside from your first boyfriend (your ex) wanting to get more physical, why else did you break up with him? And why do you want him now? Is this 2nd boyfriend so terrible in the physical department that it pushes you to want to get physical with your ex? Sounds like you're just wanting something physical from all of this, but is that really the case?
Questions to you would be: 1) What do you want in a guy? 2) Do you need to have a committed relationship with a guy? 3) Although you may not be social, this doesn't stop you from being interested in other guys, so are there any other guys you could be interested or do you feel that you can be interested in any other guys while having an open mind.
Figure these things out and any other questions you may have for yourself, for no matter where you go, who else you ask, what you do, etc, almost all of these answers lies within you. Cause really, you can't expect others to know what you want if you don't know what you want.
Break up with the current boyfriend, get back with the old one and see if it works. If it doesn't then he's not the one for you and move on with your life....or here's something different just be alone. You're only 23 you don't need to be with anyone!
@daydreams_nightmares@xanga - I agree with what this person said.
Well it's definitely best to break up if you just feel nothing for the current boyfriend. As for the last boyfriend..the ex..he's an ex for a reason. Instead of figuring out how to get rid of your loneliness by going to a ex bf..you should work on bettering yourself and maybe your social skills.
you get with a guy, who you're not that attracted to so that you won't so far physically, yet you can't even kiss him. then you want to get back with your ex since you're more sexually attracted to him yet you don't want to go that far, so you broke up with him and got with someone that you know that you won't go that far with since you don't find him that sexually appealing. once you get back with your ex-bf, it'lll probably repeat since you don't want to go that far yet you're more attracted to him than your current. so you mainly want to get back with your ex because he's a better kisser
sounds like you want a kissing buddy than serious relationship due to your indecisiveness.
girls need that physical element more than guys do. you're not letting yourself experience what human nature has designed you to do.
@TheNotoriousGOD@xanga - Could you explain how you mean that exactly? That girls are less easily attracted to a certain person, whereas men are easily attracted to any women? Since a common view is that guys are usually more oriented on the physical aspects than the ladies ;)
Uh, you leave. Plain and simple as that. All you're doing is leading the poor guy on, and nobody likes a tease. And then you figure out what you want from a man other than kisses.
Drop the poor sucker. And grow up. 23? Sounds more like 13 to me.
You're pathetic.
@Bricker59@xanga - lol awesome ;)
Like what everyone else is saying..you should break up with your bf. It's not fair for him that you're leading him on when in reality there really isn't any heart in that relationship from you.. Better that he hurts now for a little than to continue it any further and causing a bigger damage to his heart later on. I'm not sure if you should get back with your ex either, but it's definitely better for you to figure that out when you're single and unattached. Good luck figuring it all out.
Relationships can be really hard. I have had a hard time being happy when I'm not in a relationship. I'm much better these days, but there's still so much longing to regain the feelings you once had.
You'll have them again! Just be patient :)
how do you respond when he's being so nice? have you seen him mad? maybe it's your attitude that's making him so boring. why did you like him in the first place?
Break up with him. You aren't doing him any favors and you certainly aren't doing yourself any favors, either.
It looks like the guy in the picture is stealth-grabbing the girl's boob.
I think you're missing just having a good relationship, and not any person in particular. You probably need to take some time away from both before making a decision to get together with either.
From experience, if you don't know, then you already know.
@paper_mausoleum@xanga - sure, i'm always happy to elaborate.
try dating a girl and don't make a move on her within the first 2 dates, and you are virtually guaranteed to make her see you as her brother rather than a lover. on the other hand, i don't know any guy who wouldn't hook up with at least some of his female friends.
sorry it took so long to respond, by the way--i had a busy weekend and this one slipped through the cracks.
i always believe that when i'm starting to having ill feelings about my relationships, maybe it's not all soo good. your instincts are telling you something, listen to it.
i was in a relationship that i became unsure of the relationship and i didn't listen to my instincts and when it was too late, all i wanted to do was kick myself.It's better to have a bad, short relationship than a bad, long relationship. It also is easier to say difficult things now, than have difficult problems later. --Karen Salmansohn