Wednesday, 24 October 2012
This post was submitted anonymously.
I have a problem. I'm no longer physically attracted to my boyfriend and lately, I've been fantasizing about other men. It's become a real problem; this has never happened before!My boyfriend has always been slim. He was only ten pounds heavier than me when we first met... but that didn't matter. I loved sleeping with him and couldn't get enough. In the last six months however, my bf has dropped over FORTY pounds and he looks awful! Basically it all started when my boyfriend lost his job and started having anxiety attacks. He stopped eating and sleeping and would spend all his time on the computer. I'd wake up at 2AM and see him still sitting at the computer.Soon afterwards, my boyfriend began to have attacks of paranoia. Everybody was apparently listening to us or spying on us. According to my boyfriend, all our apartment building's residents had secret recorders and were tapping our computer. He would encase my cell phone in tin foil and yell at the neighbors because he was sure they were listening to all our secrets.Finally, I threatened to leave him unless he saw a psychiatrist. He did so and the doctor put my boyfriend on several anti-depressants and a mood-stabilizer. The medicine took some time before we could see any effects but after one more month, my boyfriend started to show improvement. He stopped being so paranoid. He slept more often and began to eat meals again. He was beginning to relax and even gain a bit of badly-needed weight.Lately, he's started talking about us having sex again. We haven't done it in a long time obviously. Before the anxiety attacks I always loved sleeping with him. When my boyfriend first mentioned sex again last week however, I was surprised at how revolted I was at the idea. I literally almost vomited. He is still way too skinny, much skinnier than me, and I can't stand the idea of him touching me now. It'd be like having sex with Gollum. I can't take it.I've been putting him off for a week but now he's starting to get curious as to why I'm so reticent about starting our sex life again. I don't want to tell him the truth because I know he's in a delicate place mentally and I don't want him to spiral down again. We're now just living on my salary so money is tight and we can't afford a counselor.I'm at a bit of a loss. If a guy said he was no longer attracted to his girlfriend because she'd gotten fat, I'd be first in line to verbally chew his head off... but here I am saying I can't have sex with my boyfriend because he's skinny.Does anyone have any advice?