Monday, 22 October 2012

• What to Avoid Doing in a Marriage or Relationship

  
  I stumbled upon this article (or opinion piece, whatever you'd like to see it as) and the author lists things that could possibly ruin a long term relationship. I personally enjoyed reading his article; some of the points he makes may seem small but it's really the little things that matter. Even though the article was written and directed to men, I think women can take this advice as well when trying to make their man happy.

  Here are some of the things that he listed (and his own comments) that were my personal favorites:

  Don't stop holding her hand: When I first dated the woman I ended up marrying, I always held her hand. In the car. While walking. At meals. At movies. It didn't matter where. Over time, I stopped. I made up excuses like my hand was too hot or it made me sweat or I wasn't comfortable with it in public. Truth was, I stopped holding hands because I stopped wanting to put in the effort to be close to my wife. No other reason.

  Don't Stop kissing her: It always got to a point when I’d more or less stop kissing her. Usually it was because things were stressful and there was tension in our relationship, and so I’d make it worse by refusing to kiss her. This of course would lead to her feeling rejected. Which would of course lead to arguments about it. Other times I had my own issues with germs and whatnot.

  Don't Stop having fun together: Age shouldn't matter. Physical ability shouldn't matter. Couples should never stop having fun with each other, and I really wish I wouldn't have gotten into so many ruts in which we didn't really go out and do anything. And, I’ve been around the block enough times to know that when the fun is missing, and the social part of life is missing, so also goes missing the ability to be fully content with each other.

  Don't skip out on things that are important to her/him: It was so easy in marriage to veto so many of the things she enjoyed doing. My reasoning, “we can find things we both enjoy.” That’s lame. There will always be things she enjoys that I will never enjoy, and that’s no reason not to support her in them. Sometimes the only thing she needs is to know that I’m there.

  Don't emotionally distance yourself from a fight: I never got to experience the power of make-up sex because any time my wife was mean or we got in a fight, I’d completely distance myself from her, usually for several days. Communication would shut down and I’d avoid contact at all cost. This never let things get worked out, and eventually after it had happened enough times I’d explode unnecessarily.

  You can read the rest of his points here: http://www.danoah.com/2012/10/16-ways-i-blew-my-marriage.html/3/

  Are there any things you can think of that you should never do in a long term relationship?

  • 4:30 PM
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