After spending countless hours trying to analyze, be understanding, and come up with every scenario in my head, there's no way around it...it actually happened; I got stood up.
Most of my frustration comes not from the fact that I got stood up itself, but rather the fact that I don't know the reasoning behind it, and I probably never will
. Since you the reader weren't there, let me fill you in on what happened.
I had met this person before, and over the past few months we hung out 5 or 6 times. I for certain crossed off any prospects with this person, and accepted the fact I wouldn't see him again as his schedule had "gotten increasingly busy," etc. That's a nice way to tell someone you're no longer interested in them anymore I guess. Not that there IS a nice way to do so, but that would probably be a less impact route.
So when he contacted me recently and told me how he broke his arm, I kind of felt bad for not keeping contact with him since that could have contributed to his absence
. Ultimately, allowing that to influence my thinking was probably a bigger mistake because when he reached out to me, my guard was down thinking it was a harmless attempt to reconnect.
I don't hold grudges and as an easy-going person, I feel it can be good to give someone a second chance, especially when they are reaching out to you. I had Spring Break this past week, so it wasn't like I was changing my schedule around, I had free time, he was available, so when he asked to meet up I was perfectly okay with the idea. I had errands to run, trying to be as productive as possible with my day, and thought I would get a quick haircut before I saw him.
I got a text message from him saying that he was running late because he was at a follow-up appointment to make sure everything was okay with his arm and he was waiting for his doctor. He had missed his actual time and was on standby, since there were 4 people ahead of him. I didn't see anything wrong with it and told him that it was no big deal if he's an hour late or so and to let me know when he's done so we can decide what we want to do.
Every half hour or so he kept me updated as to the waiting room status, and when he finally saw his doctor (three hours later mind you), he decides to text me, “I'm going to have to reschedule, I have to go back to work to pick up my laptop since I have a business trip tomorrow, and by the way I got a promotion.”
Okay so the fact that you got a promotion is relevant to you canceling on me, being unapologetic about it, not to mention nonchalant about the whole thing, how? Why would you make me wait four more hours to then in turn cancel instead of doing so originally? I would have respected him more had he said off the bat, “I'm running late and I don't think I will be free anytime soon. I'm sorry but can we reschedule?"
Half of my day was wasted for something that I didn't even initiate in the first place.
Ultimately what I realized is this: if he is careless enough to miss an opportunity to be with me, then why should I want someone like that in my life in the first place?
And if you were wondering, I texted him back saying it wasn't a big deal, and that I didn't get why he made me wait and cancel, rather than letting me know right away especially when he had to take care of something at work. I said I wish him well, and congrats with the job opportunity, but that he got his second chance from me.
I haven't heard back from him since.Have you ever been stood up before for seemingly no real reason? How did you react?