This entire situation happened last Thursday, but it has taken me a few days to process it, get over myself, and fully realize that what I did was a truly great thing.
I work at a local public radio station and through this job I have, had the opportunity to get free tickets to some really great shows. I was able to land our station's last pair of tickets to the sold out Alabama Shakes show and I just about cried. My boyfriend is also a fan of theirs and we were both excited to go.
Fast-forward to the morning of the show. We had been to the Godspeed You! Black Emperor show two days before and my boyfriend made a comment about being too tired to want to go to the show that night. While I was coming unglued inside, I was as polite as possible while discussing the matter. He told me that it would be a huge favor to him if I could find someone else to go with me
I spent the next few hours while he was in class pouting, making Facebook statuses, texting some friends, and trying to come to terms with the fact that I was very likely not going to the show that I spent 2 weeks being incredibly excited about and verbally expressing this excitement more than a handful of times. This was easily in the top 10 most crestfallen moments of my life. Unfortunately, the best I was able to do was find someone willing to buy the tickets. Saddest day ever.
When my boyfriend came home he told me about how shitty he had felt all day, and he felt even worse learning that I had found no one to go with me. He then confided that he was incredibly stressed out and had just found out while he was in class that he had an intense take home quiz to do over the weekend and a test the next week that he was unaware of, meaning that he now had two tests the next Tuesday.
Having this quick pile up of work and stress was too much for him and because of all of these things, Thursday was going to be his only chance all weekend to relax and do exactly what he wanted to do, which wasn't going to the show with me. He had a point, considering he works, goes to class, and studies all week, leaving very little time for relaxation, and with me there every weekend, he can't very well spend all day at his computer.
After a few minutes of silence and him assessing everything, he made a final offer to go with me because he had promised
me from the beginning. He felt terrible that no one was going to go with me and it would directly be his fault if he didn't go. The venue wasn't in the best part of town so there was no way I would consider going alone. What kind of terrible girlfriend would I be to take his offer after listening to his long, pitiful lamentation?
If he never gets a chance to spend a night doing exactly what he wants to do (this is his first opportunity to do that in a couple of weeks) and I have the power to give him that, how on Earth could I morally deny him that? Of course we weren't going to go! I was incredibly upset and I'd be lying if I said that I hadn't shed a tear or two over the course of the day (everything makes me cry), but I'm not a bitch. Unless he said, "There is no way I'm going to let you sell those tickets," which he didn't, they were going to be sold, and they were.
Still pretty angry that he let me sell the tickets and further upset that when I asked him to at least go with me to deliver them he wasn't all too willing, I went alone and took myself to Goodwill afterwards to blow off some steam and the new cash in my pocket. After being gone for well over an hour, I returned home to find him playing World of Warcraft, which he plays every night
. DID I REALLY JUST SELL MY TICKETS SO HE COULD SIT AND PLAY WORLD OF WARCRAFT ALL NIGHT LONG?!
After the WoWing was over, I learned that what he was doing was completely different and he was full of smiles, kisses, and gratitude for letting him have a full night to do exactly what he wanted to do and not have to worry about anything or anyone else (and of course, this meant spending time with me). He apologized for being really shitty about how he went about telling me he didn't want to go (meaning the morning of).When we really love someone, we are willing to occasionally sacrifice things that are incredibly important to us for things that are incredibly important for them
. He is a textbook introvert, and since I commute between living in Dallas and staying with him in Austin every week, he does me a constant favor by giving up the alone time he so greatly needs by being around me almost all day every day while I'm there.
I realize that some of these details sound strange, but if anyone is or has dated an introvert, you understand that different things need to be taken into consideration. If I have an opportunity to make him really happy and help him to just relax and not worry about anything, why wouldn't I want to do that? The satisfaction I would have gotten out of going to the show is of course measurably greater than spending the majority of the night bored as hell, but it doesn't compare to how great it was to see him so happy and appreciative. What sacrifices have you made for the sake of improving the day of your SO?